To be happy

I was 9 when my teacher asked
"What is your aspiration in life?"
Tossed into my world of fantasy
"To be a renowned pediatrician", I replied
with all naivety and innocence.

I was just a little girl, happy and enthusiastic
One who had the world at her feet, or felt so
One who thought life was a bed of roses
and believed in fairy tales

But then I grew up
and my world fell apart
The thorns on my roses pierced into my sanity
Reality hit so hard, turning me radioactive

My daydreams bled into nightmares
clotted with mood swings
teary nights of insomnia
and cycles of sorrowful laughter
Praying fervently to my God
hoping for a miracle
as I watch my father’s health deteriorate
and my family wallow in debts
Simultaneously, I questioned my faith.

My soul became broken, my skin foreign
and depression became my solitude
With each passing day
I feel my fire burn out
The Sirius has fallen from the skies.

Well, enough of these sad tales
Guess what?
I'll be 20 in a few weeks
And today, I ponder on my teacher's question
"What is my aspiration in life?"

Tired, depressed and unaccomplished
the picture is clearer
and more than ever
my aspiration in life is
To be happy.