The Gentle Years Turned Vicious All of a Sudden

after his father died
we spent hours
that add up to days
in the back of that
Mercury Commuter

talking and watching
playing pretend
watching and waiting
and waiting
and watching as groceries
grew warm
and uncomfortable

finally, once, Mama
had enough
and sent my sister
across the street
to call us a cab

we got home in one piece
and she salvaged
what she could
as she always did
and tried to distract us
from what we knew

when he got home
sometime during the night
we all heard him

drive into the trash cans
near the detached garage
and this close to the house

he made his way in
stumbling and slurring
and calling her name

we know she didn’t want
to answer but it’s not like
she could take
ten kids and just leave

she tried to help him to bed
but instead he made her nose bleed
and told her to never sneak
off like that again
and she didn’t
even though
we all did eventually,

with a guilt
for leaving her
with him

but she wouldn’t
have gone

she was in it
for always
forever
‘til death did
they part
despite me
not understanding