who ruined my mother's daughter
maybe
just maybe
i'm not the daughter my mother wanted
maybe
just maybe life screwed her,
the way it did me
maybe
just maybe it all started ten years ago
when i was 9
the first person to scar me
a woman
maybe
just maybe it was her
a woman who groped me
in a taxi
on my way to school
she groped me, her words haunt me forever
i still feel her groping me everyday
it haunts me everyday
maybe
just maybe it was the second time
the second person to scar me
a man.
i was 16
in a taxi
on my way home from school
he tried rub me down
and caress me
when i brushed him off
he threw money in my lap
and proceeded to do it again
maybe
just maybe it was him
it was him who ruined my mother's daughter
maybe
just maybe it was the third time
the first three boys to scar - all at once
maybe it was them
maybe it was being pinned down
and fighting for my life
maybe that's what scarred me
or maybe
just maybe
it was the fourth guy who scarred me
maybe it was the way he grabbed me
while i tried to get away
maybe it was the way he left me bruised for days
it was probably looking at my black
and blue wrist the next day
maybe that was it
maybe
just maybe it was the fifth guy
maybe it was him who ruined my mother's daughter
he was my friend
i trusted him, yet he gave me away
to his friend, a friend i didn't know
a friend who told me that it's fine i didn't remember what happened
a friend who laughed at my confusion when i inquired
maybe
just maybe
it was all these things
but maybe it wasn't any of these things
maybe it was my dad
the very very first person to scar me
maybe it was the way he left
that had to be it
it left me scared of anyone,
of everyone
maybe it wasn't any of this
maybe it's life's way of screwing my mother
maybe
just maybe
it's life's way of screwing us both
but maybe
just maybe
i don't know what ruined my mother's daughter
maybe this is the way,
the way it's supposed to be
my mother's daughter ruined and we don't know why
maybe
just maybe .
206th Weekly Poetry Contest