Classic Poem

Than only stooping with our sticks t'essay,
If pottering this, and that way, we could find
How deep it went; or which way it did wind.
Though 'twas in vain; for the low bending Rock
Did those ridiculous endeavours mock,
This the fourth River is, although of more
Than three, and one unfoardable, before
None ever heard, and if a further shoar,
Belong to this, none ever past it ore;
Nothing with Legs, and Arms can come unto't,
They must be Finns , and 'tis a Fish must do't.
But I am well assured none ever was
Till now so far in this unwholesome place,
From whence with falls, and knocks though almost lame
We faster much retreated, than we came,
And measuring it, as we return'd again,
Found it five hundred paces by the Chain .
We now once more behold the chearful Sun ,
And one would think 'twere time we here had done:
But ere I go I must one story tell
Concerns the place; so great a Miracle
As can't omitted be without offence,
It being an effect of Providence .

The Tow'r that stands on tip-toe in the Air,
And ore the Channel perpendicular,
Is on a Hill by't self, though not so high
By infinite degrees, as one close by,
A narrow Valley interpos'd between:
But this is all a Crag , the other green.
On ev'ry side from this old Castle down,
Is perfect Cliff , except towards the Town ,
Where the ascent is steep; but in the Rock,
Forc'd by the pond'rous Hammers conqu'ring stroak,
A winding way from the rough Mountains foot,
Was made the only Avenue unto't.
'Tis true, that, just over the Cave , the Hill
In an extended ridg continues still:
But to so small a Neck 's contracted there,
The Tower blocks the pass up with one square .
And yet that once there has a Passage been
Into the Fort this way, is to be seen
By ribbs of Arches standing of free-stone,
On which a Bridge has formerly been thrown
Over a Graff parts the Hills double-crown :
But if by Art , or Nature made, not known;
It now with Docks , and Thistles is oregrown.
On one hand of this Bridge , a Cliff doth fall
Ore the Caves mouth steep, as a perpend wall,
On th'other hand one very near as steep
Looks down into the Vale ; but not so deep;
For I am most assur'd, that we did go
Under the Vale when in the Cave below,
And the whole distance not twelve paces is
Betwixt the one, and th'other Precipice .
This Valley (which by the Caves-way is known,)
Is one of the chief passes to the Town ,
And where it more remotely does begin
Gently to dimple these two Hills between,
Falls with so easie a descent, as nere
Could trouble the most Southern Traveller :
But that ore-slipt, his neck must dearly pay
The rashness, if he will attempt that way.

A Countrey-fellow some years since, who was
Nothing a stranger to the tickle pass ,
Being by h's Master sent some friends to guide
Ore those wild Mountains of the Forrest wide,
By them was so rewarded, as to make
Him, who had guided them, his way mistake:
For coming back, when Night the day had clos'd
Careless, and drunk enough may be suppos'd,
He learnedly the Pass did overshoot,
Thinking he was not yet arriv'd unto't:
But trotted on along the Mountains ridge ,
Until he came almost unto the Bridge
Close by the Tower , which though it could not be
Thirty yards off, it seems he could not see,
To that degree either the Mists or Night ,
Or his Potation did obstruct his sight.
But here he thought to turn into the Vale,
Although his Mare who, having had no Ale ,
Was unto both their safeties more awake,
At first refus'd the dang'rous step to take;
Like unto peevish Balaam 's faithful Asse ,
Who more clear-sighted than the Prophet was,
Proving her rider so, for once at least,
If not the greater Asse , the greater Beast .
But being spur'd up to the place again,
Angry it seems her counsel was not tane,
She took a greater leap against her will,
Than Pegasus from the other bi-top Hill,
With all th'advantage that he had of Wing ,
When from his Pinch started the Poets Spring .
And from the giddy height, the Lord knew whither,
Down with a vengeance they both went together.
Where they did part, himself could nere declare;
If one some Rub by th'way; or in the Air:
But at the bottom he was left for dead,
With a good Memorandum on his head,
That lay'd him so asleep, he did not wake
Till with the cold his bones began to ake: