Classic Poem

Illustrious Bard! (whoe'er thou art,)
Whom Hymen's Joys have made so pert;
That 'cause the Hony-moon is gone,
And Nuptial Troubles not come on;
Eager, the Wonder should be known,
In am'rous Strains have told the Town ;
How happy 'tis to have a Wife ,
Rather than live a single Life:
And what fine Things you've been a doing,
Since you for Marriage chang'd your Wooing :
And made young Fellows Mouths to water;
Impatient to be coming after.
The Country Proverb you han't follow'd;
But whilst you're in the Winds have bellow'd .
The Latin too I think a propos ;
That tell us, Finis coronat opus .
But since what's done you can't recant:
(Tho' oft, it's like, you will repent:)
Before you string your Lyre again;
(Unless 'tis to divert your Pain;)
If you'l accept a Friend's Advice;
(Th' old Saying's good, if 'tis not nice;)
First with her eat a Peck of Salt .
And then if you can find no Fault;
And She should prove not Slut nor Scold ;
Nor with your Head should make too bold;
(Either with Horns , or with a Stick ;)
Or play some other Female Trick;
To make you turn your am'rous Tone,
And often with your self alone:
If you can find me such another,
I'll recommend her to a Brother.