Classic Poem

Scarlet Letter

Wrote the clergy: “Our Dear Madame Prynne.”
We keep mighty close watch upon sin:
 And we think we had better
 Proclaim by this Letter
Our sense of how Active you've been.”

Hester's answer: “Dear Clergy, I say,
This is truly a Red Letter day!
 I accept with elation
 Your certification
That I've finally managed my A.”

Pastoral Letter

Dear Mrs. Parishioner Prynne,
While Applauding your efforts to win
 An Award, we confess
 That we couldn't care less
For your quite unoriginal sin.

Ambiguity, Perspicuity

Nat Hawthorne concealed his asperity
By a surface of delicate clarity;
He produced ambiguity
In rich superfluity,
And laudably free from vulgarity.

Hawthorne's writing achieved perspicuity,
Continuity, beauty, acuity;
He won lasting glory
In romance and story—
Though some have complained of tenuity.

Caution

When Hawthorne inspected a rose,
He would caution it not to suppose
That, though fragrant and sweet,
It was any great treat
To his lofty New-Englandy nose.

Quick, Sir, the Elixir—“Birthmark”

Aylmer banished, with trouble and strife,
A small blotch from the cheek of his wife;
This little correction
Worked out to perfection,
And cured the poor girl of her life.