Classic Poem

F LEABITIEN Synod: an Assembly brew'd
Of Clerks and Elders ana , like the rude
Chaos of Presbyt'ry, where Lay-men guide
With the tame Woolpack Clergie by their side.
Who askt the Banes 'twixt these discolour'd Mates?
A strange Grottesco this, the Church and States
(Most divine tick-tack) in a pye-bald crew,
To serve as table-men of divers hue.
Shee that conceiv'd an Æthiopian heire
By picture, when the parents both were faire,
At sight of you had borne a dappl'd son,
You chequering her 'magination.
Had Jacobs flock but seen you sit, the dams
Had brought forth speckled and ringstreaked lambs.
Like an Impropriatours Motley kind,
Whose Scarlet Coat is with a Cassock lin'd.
Like the Lay-thiefe in a Canonick weed,
Sure of his Clergie e're he did the deed.
Like Royston Crowes, who are (as I may say)
Friers of both the Orders Black and Gray .
So mixt they are, one knowes not whether's thicker,
A Layre of Burgesse, or a Layre of Vicar.
Have they usurp'd what Royall Judah had?
And now must Levi too part stakes with Gad ?
The Scepter and the Crosier are the Crutches,
Which if not trusted in their pious Clutches,
Will faile the Criple State. And were't not pity
But both should serve the yardwand of the City?
That Isaac might go stroke his beard, and sit
Judge of ╬Á╬╣¤é ╬æ╬┤╬┐¤à and Elegerit .
Oh that they were in chalk and charcole drawne!
The Misselany Satyr, and the Fawne,
And all th' Adulteries of twisted nature
But faintly represent this ridling feature,
Whose Members being not Tallies, they'l not own
Their fellowes at the Resurrection.
Strange Scarlet Doctors these, they'l passe in Story
For sinners halfe refin'd in Purgatory;
Or parboyl'd Lobsters, where there joyntly rules
The fading Sables and the coming Gules.
The flea that Falstaffe damn'd, thus lewdly shewes
Tormented in the flames of Bardolphs Nose.
Like him that wore the Dialogue of Cloaks,
This shoulder Iohn a Styles , that Iohn a Noaks .
Like Jewes and Christians in a ship together,
With an old Neck-verse to distinguish either.
Like their intended Discipline to boot,
Or Whatsoe're hath neither head nor foot:
Such may these strip't-stuffe hangings seem to be,
Sacriledge matcht with Codpeece-Symony;
Be sick and dream a little, you may then
Phansie these Linsie-Woolsie Vestry-men.
Forbeare good Pembroke , be not over-daring,
Such Company may chance to spoile thy swearing:
And these Drum-Major oaths of Bulke unruly,
May dwindle to a feeble By my truly .
Hee that the Noble Percyes blood inherits,
Will he strike up a Hotspur of the spirits?
Hee'l fright the Obadiahs out of tune,
With his uncircumcised Algernoon .
A name so stubborne, 'tis not to be scan'd
By him in Gath with the six finger'd hand.
See, they obey the Magick of my words.
Presto ; they're gone. And now the House of Lords
Looks like the wither'd face of an old hagg,
But with three teeth, like to a triple gagg.
A Jig, a Jig: And in this Antick dance
Fielding and doxy Marshall first advance.
Twiss blowes the Scotch pipes, and the loving brase
Puts on the traces, and treads Cinqu-a-pace.
Then Say and Seale must his old Hamstrings supple,
And he and rumpl'd Palmer make a couple.
Palmer's a fruitfull girle, if hee'l unfold her,
The Midwife may finde worke about her shoulder.
Kimbolton , that rebellious Boanerges ,
Must be content to saddle Doctor Burges .
If Burges get a clap, 'tis ne're the worse,
But the fift time of his Compurgators.
Nol Bowles is coy; good sadnesse cannot dance
But in obedience to the Ordinance.
Her Wharton wheels about till Mumping Lidy ,
Like the full Moone, hath made his Lordship giddy.
Pym and the Members must their giblets levy
T' incounter Madam Smec , that single Bevy.
If they two truck together, 'twill not be
A Childbirth, but a Gaole-Deliverie.
Thus every Gibeline hath got his Guelph ,
But Selden , hee's a Galliard by himself,
And well may be; there's more Divines in him
Then in all this their Jewish Sanhedrim :
Whose Canons in the forge shall then bear date,
When Mules their Cosin-Germanes generate.
Thus Moses Law is violated now,
The Ox and Asse go yok'd in the same plough.
Resign thy Coach-box Twisse ; Brook's Preacher, he
Would sort the beasts with more conformity.
Water & earth make but one Globe, a Roundhead
Is Clergy-Lay Party-per-pale compounded.