Classic Poem

OVER THE BUTCHER'S SHAMBLES .

W HOE'ER our stage examines, must excuse
The wondrous shifts of the dramatic Muse;
Then kindly listen, while the prologue rambles
From wit to beef, from Shakspeare to the shambles!
Divided only by one flight of stairs,
The monarch swaggers, and the butcher swears!
Quick the transition, when the curtain drops,
From meek Moninna's moans to mutton-chops!
While for Lothario's loss Lavinia cries,
Old women scold, and dealers d — n your eyes!
Here Juliet listens to the gentle lark,
There in harsh chorus hungry bull-dogs bark.
Cleavers and scymitars give blow for blow,
And heroes bleed above, and sheep below!
While tragic thunders shake the pit and box,
Rebellows to the roar the staggering ox.
Cow-horns and trumpets mix their martial tones,
Kidneys and kings, mouthing and marrow-bones.
Suet and sighs, blank verse and blood abound,
And form a tragi-comedy around.
With weeping lovers, dying calves complain,
Confusion reigns — chaos is come again!
Hither your steelyards, butchers, bring to weigh
The pound of flesh, Anthonio's bond must pay!
Hither your knives, ye Christians, clad in blue,
Bring to be whetted by the ruthless Jew!
Hard is our lot, who, seldom doom'd to eat.
Cast a sheep's-eye on this forbidden meat —
Gaze on sirloins, which, ah! we cannot carve,
And in the midst of legs of mutton — starve!
But would you to our house in crowds repair,
Ye generous captains, and ye blooming Fair,
The fate of Tantalus we should not fear,
Nor pine for a repast that is so near.
Monarchs no more would supperless remain,
Nor pregnant queens for cutlets long in vain.