Classic Poem

A Ffliction still lyes heauie on my Soule ,
which makes her stupid, dry, and dull to pray;
Then ( Lord ) vnlesse thou doe her pow'r controule,
she needes must sinke to Hell beneath her sway .

O Sinue (that with high Hand dost hurle so low)
thou art sole Cause of this so bad Effect:
Thou NOTHING, that dost all things ouerthrow
not staid by Grace , why dost me thus defect?

O had I beene abortiue, and dead borne;
or, if not so, the Font had reft my breath
Then had I made a quicke and safe returne,
that now must passe in perill to my death!

I can but sinne, then Justice can but scourge;
so, Sinne and Scourges , wheeling, o'er me goe:
Yea, Sinne being quiet, I it oft doe vrge;
so, on me, with it, pull a World of woe .

Lord! what am I, that am so rarely fraile?
that can doe nothing : that is, sinne I can:
For, Sinne is Nothing: yet, it doth preuaile
against me, Something: that is, marres a Man!

When I doe minde the strange Austeritie ,
familiar with some (reclus'd from this life)
The watching, praying, fasting, charitie ,
the fights with Flesh , with Sinne , the endlesse strife .

I am amae'd with wonder: grieu'd with shame ,
nay, waighing theirs with mine, my conscience bleeds
To see the ods: ├┤ fie, I am to blame,
to call it ods , sith it all ods exceedes!

For white and blacke doe farre lesse disagree
then theirs and mine: mine being, lightly, darke
Theirs, darkly, light , and lights the darke to see:
notorious I for sinne , they, Saints of marke .

So that I am confounded but to minde
the ods (surmounting ods ) betweene the two:
For in my selfe, with Pride , all ill I finde;
in them all good , and yet most humble too.

Then, sith Comparisons are but too blame
betweene things so repugnant (for, they doe
But shew the ods vnto the worsers shame)
I will forbeare, and beare the blemish too.

For, all reproch (though infinite it were)
comes short of endlesse sinne , in foule offence:
Then, may I well that All (as nothing ) beare,
which Centers but my sinnes Circumference!

For, weake as frailtie is my strongest force
in fight with vices , and in ghostly warres
At best no better then a liuing Corse:
and that the Vrne that but my Soule interres!

I fight, but faint, the first Incounter trying;
yet, oft by standing on my strength too much
I quite am foil'd, that might hane foil'd by flying:
such is my rashnesse , and my weakenesse such.

If I o ercome, (as seldome so I doe)
my spirit growes proud , and confident withall:
So this farre worse then that doth me vndoe;
for spirituall pride still takes the lowest fall .

But, when I fall, thy help ( Lord ) I inuoke,
to raise me: rais'd, I fall to worser ill
So seeme but leaue to craue (though it I cloke)
but still to fall , and to be raised still.

But to thee ( knower of all thoughts ) it's knowne
such Boones are sinnes that beg but leaue to sinne
My Beanes no better be; for, being downe.
I craue to rise by Grace to fall therein .

And though my Prayers aime at no such end ,
yet, in the end (sith I but rise and fall )
It seemes I did but by the same entend
to make my selfe thy Mercies Racket ball .

Which falling hardest, highest doth rebound;
but, to doe ill , that good thereof might rise
Is Ill , so ill, as may the Soule confound;
then, all that good in Soule-confounding, lies .

To sinne of purpose, but to make vs meeke,
augments the fault; for, tis presumptuous Sinne:
And who, by Error, Heau'nly Truth shall seeke,
shall lose her quite, and Hell , with Error, winne .

Then, Lord of Truth , when I haue tane a fall
let me desire to rise , to fall no more:
So though thou bandy me from wall to wall ,
yet, keepe me vp, at least, with beating sore.

And, if, weakenesse , I shall sometimes slippe
so stay me then, that downe I fall not quite:
Let me, at most (if so at least ) but trippe ;
then take the faster footing through thy might .
So shall I praise that Pow'r that stayes me so;
And, euer ouercome an Ouerthrow .