Classic Poem

Come hither Apollo's Bouncing Girl,
And in a whole Hippocrene of Sherry
Let's drink a round till our Brains do whirl,
Tuning our Pipes to make our selves merry;
A Cambridge -Lass, Venus -like, born of the Froth
Of an old half fill'd Jug of Barly-Broth,
She, she is my Mistress, her Suitors are many,
But she'll have a Square-Cap, if e'r she have any.

And first, for the Plush-sake, the Monmouth -Cap Comes
Shaking his Head, like an empty Bottle,
With his new-fangled Oath by Jupiter's Thumbs,
That to her Health he'll begin a pottle:
He tells her, that after the Death of his Grannam
He shall have God knows what per Annum .
But still she replied, Good Sir La-bee ,
If ever I have a Man Square-Cap for me.

Then Calot Leather-Cap strongly pleads
And fain would derive his Pedigree of fashion.
The Antipodes were their Shoes on their Heads,
And why may not we in their Imitation:
Oh! how the Foot-ball noddle would please,
If it were but well toss'd on S. Thomas his Lees:
But still she replied Good Sir La-bee
If ever I have a Man, Square-Cap for me.

Next comes the Puritan in a Wrought-Cap,
With a long-wasted Conscience towards a Sister,
And making a Chappel of Ease of her Lap;
First he said Grace, and then he kiss'd her:
Beloved, quoth he, thou art my Text;
Then falls he to use and Application next,
But then she replied your Text Sir I'll be;
For then I'm sure you'l ne'r handle me.

But see where Sattin-Cap scouts about,
And fain would this Wench in his Fellowship marry,
He told her how such a Man was not put out,
Because his Wedding he closely did carry,
He'll purchase Induction by Simony,
And offers her Money her Incumbent to be,
But still she replied, Good Sir La-bee ,
If ever, I have a Man Square-Cap for me.

The Lawyer's a Sophister by his Round-Cap,
Nor in their Fallacies are they divided,
The one Milks the Pocket, the other the Tap,
And yet this Wench he fain would have Brided:
Come leave these thred-bare Scholars, quoth he,
And give me Livery and Seisin of thee.
But peace John-a Nokes , and leave your Oration,
For I never will be your Impropriation:
I pray you therefore, Good Sir La-bee;
For if ever I have a Man, Square-Cap for me.