Oh harken to this cautionary tale
about an aged man who grew a beard
of luscious length and breadth that couldn’t fail
but label him a prophet false and weird.
His vanity attracted avian pests,
and in his whiskers two owls and a hen
took residence therein, constructing nests,
as did a lark quartet and solo wren.
Not only was his cleanliness in doubt
(for guano clung unto his facial hair),
but aviaries in beards suggests a bout
of madness and of looming mental care.
So lest you’re keen on being locked away,
’tis best to shave your chin and chops each day.