A broken girl

An innocent girl...
Bold and strong
Fearless and faithful
She was born to strive
Born to succeed
Born to excel
Born to live
But then came pain
And the cycle restarts

A silent girl...
Shy and nervous
Quiet and careful
Hesitant and scared
She was pushed around
Laugh upon
A dark voice crept into her head
Thousands of unsafe words flurried
She quickly ignored it
But then came pain
And the cycle restarts

A broken girl...
Shy and sad
Lost and forgotten
Torturous words circled her brain
She ignores it
Until she can’t
She was born to strive
Born to live

But now the pain is unbearable
Death seeming more likable
She watches as her body caves in
Her thoughts floating away
Her body writhing and shaking
The pain tearing at her skin
Like hungry tigers cutting through their prey
She accepts it this time
Tears flowing freely from her face
She looks up to the sky
Blue colors swirl together
She’s ready to take her last breath
Until…

“Come Home”
A voice whispers in her head
“It’s not time, little one”
She opens her eyes startled
Looks around for the voice
But as suddenly as it appeared it’s gone
Death no more seems like a good idea
With her last breath, she fights the cold feeling
Seeking the warmth and shelter of her family
Yes...
Her caring and warm family
She may not have others but they will also be there
She must never forget that...

She gasps sitting up from her bed
“Was it all a dream”
She whispered
Reality and space clashing together
The dark thoughts swirl in her head as they always do everyday
“Die”
“Your useless”
“No one will love you”
“Your all alone”
“There nothing here for you”
“Your fat”
“Stop eating”
“Your dumb”
“Your face is hideous”
“Your body is horrid”
“Your voice is ugly”
“Your teeth are messed up”
“You are a mess”

Thousands of insults shouting at her all at once
Getting louder and louder like pelting rain
But this time they feel less painful
She closes her eyes
A deep breath in…
And releases the breath
As she opens her eyes again she is greeted with no voice
A smile slowly starts to appear on her face
She heads to her kitchen
‘Good morning!”
Her family warmly greets her
She can’t help but smile at their welcome
“Yes, I couldn’t possibly leave my family”
“Not when they are the reason I am the person I am today”
She thinks
“Even If I listen to the dark voices”
“My family will always be the light at the end of the tunnel”
“Leaving the world might seem welcoming”
“But it will kill and break my family”
The more she thought the better she started to feel

“You don’t want to hurt your family, huh?”
The same voice that told her to return home in her dream, questions
“No, I’d do anything than to see my family suffer”
She replies
“Then choose to live my sweet child”
“Your time is not now, you have many years ahead of you”
“You can do it, I’ll see you again when the time is right”
The voice whispers
A soft wind blows at her hair
Feeling like a loving caress
And then it was gone along with the voice

A girl...
Outgoing and Talkative
Smart and Outwitting
Creative and Generous
Broken and Sad
Anxiety rips through her
Dark thoughts try to consume her
But she pushes through
Born to strive
Born to excel
Born to live
The world is full of pain and sorrow
It always will be
But one must decide if they will let it control their life

The girl chooses to live
Leaving death a faint past memory
She knows she will come across death again
She knows it will come back hitting her and hurting her harder
As it had previously done
But this time she is ready
She is prepared
She was born to survive through the misery
And yes there was pain
But this time the cycle did not restart
She looked at the pain head-on
Not a shake in her body
As she greeted the pain with a warm half-hearted smile
“Hello! We meet again I see.”
The girl continues her journey
But this time something has changed
She views things in a new light
And so she continues her pathway a confident walk, a joyful smile
The pain softly breathing down her neck
But she ignores it like she always has
And continues