Domination

Broken, I shudder,
Betrayed by your formidable arms,
Your feigned, reasonable intentions,
Your terrible nonchalance.
Your love was a false fantasy
In my lonely darkness;
I wish everything were illusory.

Beneath suffocating silence,
I am trapped by your horrid “love,”
Quietly touched by your honeyed words,
And torn asunder, powerless before you.
In silence, I fall beneath your sway.
It’s terrible, I know, yet I find your
Perception of me now comes naturally -
As if I always harbored so much hatred
For my own self that I could taste
Our contempt, our loathing,
A venom indelibly lodged within me now.

I trusted you,
I trusted your kindness over
Your depravity, a fallacy
I will neither forget nor forgive
Myself for making.
Memory lashes against me,
And life is never long without
A flash, an apparition of you,
Of your words - daggers
That severed solace from me.
I am tired of this reality
Where even your absence is not enough
To remove you from my life.

Even you have moved on, I know,
Your elation to leave me lingers still,
The last I ever heard from you.
I was never special, in reflection.
You threatened, you lied, you
Broke me,
And I have you to thank for
This misery, this susurrus of
Doubt, of Shame.

Suffocated,
Guilty,
I resign.