Middle Age

I have a test today
I never studied for
Never even attended the class
Though I did give a speech
In another class entirely nude.
No one seemed to notice.

Got an excellent deal
On a used Taurus
Not exactly happy
With the color
A sun scorched maroon
Flaking on the hood
But a good deal nonetheless
My neighbor agrees
And good gas mileage.

Bought a Louisiana Lotto
Ticket at Larry’s Quick Snack
And a couple of Scratch-Offs.
Didn’t win a dime but
Someone got shot
During a holdup at that same place
A few days later
So I’m feeling darn lucky.

There were forty minutes left
On the meter
Where I parked today.
Pretty good luck.
Took a handful of Sweet ‘N Low’s
When the waitress wasn’t looking.
Wish they had Splenda.

My wife is taking yoga lessons.
She used to pay fifty bucks an hour
But now she gets them free
Two or three times a week.
How can I be so lucky?

Published in Chronogram Magazine,  2008