You Weren't There

You weren’t there when all the kids from school teased me, called me unspeakable names.
You weren't there when I cried myself to sleep at night after an argument with my mother.
I wished so badly that you were there to calm her down to make us laugh away the angier.
You weren't there to stop me from dating losers who didn’t give a damn about loving me for my soul and not for what I looked like on the outside.
You weren’t there to pick up the broken pieces of my heart when I believed that even my family didn’t love me for who I am.
You weren’t there to bring me a bouquet of roses after every theatrical performance.
You weren’t there to take pictures of me and tell me how much I’ve grown up at my prom. You weren’t there to teach me what the true meaning of love is.
You won't be there to see me graduate or to give me away at my wedding.
Even though I have the best mother in the world I still try so hard to forget how much I need you. And I hope that you don’t wake up someday and figure that you missed out on my childhood.
Please don't try to relate to me.
I just want to know, did you ever love me? I’ve always felt like I'm in fourth place when it comes to your sons.
And how it kills me when I think of my friend’s father and their relationship, how I would rather you be a dead father than a father who doesn't love his daughter.
But the most painful thing of all is knowing that you will never understand.