I'm In My 30's Now

In a few days, it will be my birthday.
Last year, I turned 30.
Now, I’m telling my age.
Well, since the secret’s out,
Yes, I’m in my 30’s now.
I’m thinking about how I’ve let so many people down.
I promised so much.
I had so much potential
Way back then.
Now I’m telling my age, again.
I held my head high like I was exalted somehow.
I thought I was better.
I was better than you, I was better than everyone.
I was better than the average working ones.
Well, reality has finally set in.
Three kids later and all I have to show
is a dusty college degree showing I’m a talented writer
And proof that I’m great at catching sperm.
Oh, and I can do a magic trick.
I can open my legs and make a human being appear.
There is barely food on the table
But I can eat when I’m dead.
No, that’s sleep.
Sleep is like being dead, so maybe I should go to bed.
My blood is still red, and yes I wish I was dead
So I lay in my bed, thinking about everything I have just said.
Maybe karma is biting me in the ass, again.
What did I do to deserve such a hard time?
Maybe I should have learned more life skills
besides laying on my back,
Or how to arch my neck,
Or mastering how to suck a dick.
I think I can be a writer.
I can remember when my words held more meaning.
I used to flip through the dictionary to choose just the right word for my poem.
Now I chase $2.00, writing about how to fix your sink.
Or what the best lotion is to keep you young.
Who wants to write that shit, anyhow?
Who reads that shit, anyhow?
All I want is to be free
But freedom is just a dream.
So it seems I will continue writing for those meager dollars
until a miracle falls.
Man, I wish I hadn’t sucked so many balls.