Living Past My Expiration Date

Freshman year of college is always tough they say
But I felt as if I was drowning each and everyday
Heavenly birthday, family member gone too soon, the wrong friends were made
My therapist tells me I’m homesick and maybe I shouldn’t have gone 1,688 miles away
How do I…
How do I…
Exist.
When I feel like I shouldn’t
In the bathroom, I watch as the blood
Drip
Drip
Drop, onto the floor
off of the cuts I have gifted myself on a body overcome by emotional turmoil
you might think that pain, blood, sweat and tears fuels hard work
But I lay rotting in my bed parallel to the food rotting in my fridge which should've been thrown out because it expired so many days ago
And how do I say, I feel like I have expired too, should have, could have, wanted to be...thrown out