Sweatpants and Curly Hair

A day fed with loose promises,

promises to bring forth a cup full of ecstatic electric life

In the form of wine,

a deep velvet entrances my senses until I’m falling over my heels

Drunken stupors pronouncing love in the form of forgotten letters

Written to girls in sweatpants with curly hair and good hearts

Too sweet for a mind so sour

Drowning in a sea of ale

A bitter endless swim

Swam uphill to fulfill some prophecy that promises dragonhood

In an image of her wearing my hoodie on an autumn morning

Fill my glass with a Russian elixir

meant to wipe motherboard minds of nights spent not sleeping until she comes to bed

After a midnight track of being overworked and underpaid.

Hot flashes can only be dowsed with the cool relief that absinthe brings

I’ve always liked Peter Pan, but never got to know his fairy

Never got to see how not growing up can be such a nuisance

Never got to live without seeing a beloved covered in a deep velvet

Never got to go without knowing that it was me

So I drink

I drown in flashes of her

She proves my nights hazy, but safe

On a gilded cloud of twisted guilt

Because I couldn’t relinquish my keys from my hubris

After one too many passed none

Wheels, engine, sweatpants, good hearts, curly hair and promises

Drown in alcohol infused oceans

Wave upon wave

Of kisses goodbye as she’s wheeled into an ambulance

Of metal hugging bark

Biting shards of scrap metal pierce the fog

Waking me up at home,

Again,

Feeling as dead as a girl with sweatpants and curly hair.
living with a hazy memory of pain