Classic Poem

T HERE'S far too much advice about the way we ought to marry,
 For no matter what you follow likely lands you in a hole,
And heaps of decent couples that are going to old Harry,
 Are spoiled by friends' advice, upsetting notions, and the Bowl.
For advice, I listen freely, and I do what I think proper,
 And I never drank that much but I could keep my powder dry;
As for pride, I take a fortune for a fortune—gold or copper—
 And for rank—well, Pollie thinks there's none can stand with Sam McKay.

Some folks believe this life is only one of many threaded
 On the strands of life and death like sleep and waking day by day,
And the friends that we have gathered, and the wives that we have wedded,
 Just old acquaintance newly dressed in fashionable clay,
If it's true that we're rewarded here for foregone deeds and doings,
 'Twould be only fair and square and make it worth your while to try,
'Twould explain a lot to know we're only supping our own brewings,
 And maybe tell why Pollie Rea is Mrs. Sam McKay.

Her friends were in a better way of doing than my father's,
 And the time I saw her first was running barefoot on the street,
I told my ma I'd marry her, but all I got was “Blathers,
 “A boy like you had better think of working for his meat.”
Thirteen I was; the last five years, my uncle had me schooling
 At the Ballymena Model till it happened him to die;
I had to leave it for Belfast, but spite of lots of fooling
 There was only Harry Kennedy ahead of Sam McKay.

I used to go to church to see her sitting there fornenst me,
 So she grew from eight to twenty and I came to twenty-five;
And though I sparked a lot of girls and had it laid against me,
 They never altered Pollie Rea with all they could contrive.
Of course she was a teacher and a good deal set above me,
 But she went with me to Bangor once—my heart was in the sky—
And round by Ballyholme she let it out she'd always love me,
 And she said she'd do her best to make a man of Sam McKay.

Old country notions have it you must marry in your station,
 Be it teacher and mechanic, or a princess and a peer,
So with that and slack employment, I gave up my situation,
 And with Pollie's love and photograph I emigrated here.
Peanuts and luck befriended me, and after five years' saving,
 I sent her home her passage, and for all she'd want to buy,
Then I met her on the “Sarnia” with her handker-chief a-waving,
 And the Montreal good man and her soon married Sam McKay.

We came down the Thousand Islands in the steamer to Toronto
 And I left the store to Billy for the balance of the week;
I thought we'd see Niagara, because I knew she'd want to
 Before she settled down for good among the kitchen reek.
We saw the whole belongings round that water always pouring,
 And I couldn't sleep with listening to it never running dry,
And thinking of the waste of it, the dashing and the roaring,
 'Twould turn my head to live at it as sure as I'm McKay.

But Pollie kissed me every night for bringing her to see it;
 The rainbow on the water-mist she said was worth God's while;
The water was a wonder, but the Finger that could free it
 Was the marvel far beyond them all—Niagara or the Nile!
I think she has more mind than me , or had more exercising,
 For I'd rather hear a katy-did or see a strange bird fly,
Than spend my time with water-falls, and things as much surprising,
 But that makes us complementary, says Mrs. Sam McKay.

The places Captain Webb was in the guides were bound to show us
 Till I wondered what they talked about before his foolish vow;
And we drove to see the Whirlpool boiling far away below us
 Where I thought I saw a dog was drowned, but sure it was a cow.
And now we've seen it end to end I'm glad we're home in quiet,
 And settled in our own wee house with not a tear to cry,
Away out near the Woodbine where land's cheap enough to buy it,
 And friends are always welcome warm to Mrs. Sam McKay.