Alexander Broome on Mr Robt Napeir a lawyer's kissing of my Ld John Butler's breech for a Guiny
1
The farme of Parnasses is beggerd they say
by some renters of wit, run lately away
So he is a good husband that dung there doth lay.
2
To purchase wch title (you must understand
wt few now will touch) I have taken in hand
Yet Turd was sole heyre, while Rump kept ye land.
3
As harmles a pleader, let no man take pett
As ever caught Client like fish in a nett
Thought now Chamber practice, most money would get.
4
This brat of Vespasian (insatiate Leech
Cause better at making a mouth yn a speech
Would suck [legere pore?] out of a Lords breech.
5
And though at ye first the lawyer was nice
Yet hee'l do it for a price, cause dowble ye price
wth wch a poore client doth purchase advice.
6
Vous avez bare breech, Mr lawyer draw neare
Yr Client is charg'd with such flattering geere
That Corpus cum causa you'l find I feare.
7
It would anger thy ghost Ignoramus to see
What an odium Tayle speciall hath brought upon thee
When Dulman creeps into ones Arse for a fee.
8
They say that the Arts on each other depend
And so far was quack Mr Pease his friend
To see him payd off before the sate end.
9
For when the nose drew so neare my Lords Bum
That meum & tuum to tryall were come
He feed him so deepe, he could scarce tell ye sum.
10
And happily though his bargaine he curse
My Lord did his yellow boyes freely disburse
As if in his arse he had carryed his purse.
11
Come purchasers come, yr money bestow
For he yt hath had much practice, must know
Whither tenure in tayle be fee simple or no.
12
That kissing doth go by favor, tis cleare
And he to ye truth of ye Proverb may sweare
For now my Lords pendts did hang in each eare.
13
Nor was his wigg shott soe, but spatter'd all ore
That Ployden nevr saw Case so alterd before
But when one doth fayle, a pleader hath store.
14
That shitt [in luck?] is good, Attorney's beleive yee
And take this advice wch will not deceive yee
One step to be a Counseler, is to be privy.
15
O Aretine, Aretine thou art a foole
Such postures were nere yet taught in thy schoole
For here a mans mouth is made a Closestoole.
16
You pleaders set forwrd & backwd in Courts
And some I prceive take fees of all sorts
But Cooke would be sorry to heare such Reports.
17
When nose unto nose so neare is ally'd
I leave it to ye criticks the case to decide
How two can ioyne issue though not of a side.
18
A [supr sedear?] doth chargeable prove
But this lawyer his client most dearly did love
And did for him below, wt most do above.
19
You Gownemen of Westmr greedily eye us
And laugh in yr sleeves, while you sell us & buy us
Wee'l [ferke?] you (I sayth) at a Nisi prius.
20
And dowbtles ye laity would freely reveale
Ye Client yt wth him so nobly did deale
But he to prevent him his mouth up did seale.
21
If any be sick of this griping disease
That nothing but money can put him in ease
I wish him good practice in such comon Pleas.
22
Wt must poore Clients think is his doome
Sure envy for taking another mans roome
To cleanse a fowle brother, no fancy like Broome.
The farme of Parnasses is beggerd they say
by some renters of wit, run lately away
So he is a good husband that dung there doth lay.
2
To purchase wch title (you must understand
wt few now will touch) I have taken in hand
Yet Turd was sole heyre, while Rump kept ye land.
3
As harmles a pleader, let no man take pett
As ever caught Client like fish in a nett
Thought now Chamber practice, most money would get.
4
This brat of Vespasian (insatiate Leech
Cause better at making a mouth yn a speech
Would suck [legere pore?] out of a Lords breech.
5
And though at ye first the lawyer was nice
Yet hee'l do it for a price, cause dowble ye price
wth wch a poore client doth purchase advice.
6
Vous avez bare breech, Mr lawyer draw neare
Yr Client is charg'd with such flattering geere
That Corpus cum causa you'l find I feare.
7
It would anger thy ghost Ignoramus to see
What an odium Tayle speciall hath brought upon thee
When Dulman creeps into ones Arse for a fee.
8
They say that the Arts on each other depend
And so far was quack Mr Pease his friend
To see him payd off before the sate end.
9
For when the nose drew so neare my Lords Bum
That meum & tuum to tryall were come
He feed him so deepe, he could scarce tell ye sum.
10
And happily though his bargaine he curse
My Lord did his yellow boyes freely disburse
As if in his arse he had carryed his purse.
11
Come purchasers come, yr money bestow
For he yt hath had much practice, must know
Whither tenure in tayle be fee simple or no.
12
That kissing doth go by favor, tis cleare
And he to ye truth of ye Proverb may sweare
For now my Lords pendts did hang in each eare.
13
Nor was his wigg shott soe, but spatter'd all ore
That Ployden nevr saw Case so alterd before
But when one doth fayle, a pleader hath store.
14
That shitt [in luck?] is good, Attorney's beleive yee
And take this advice wch will not deceive yee
One step to be a Counseler, is to be privy.
15
O Aretine, Aretine thou art a foole
Such postures were nere yet taught in thy schoole
For here a mans mouth is made a Closestoole.
16
You pleaders set forwrd & backwd in Courts
And some I prceive take fees of all sorts
But Cooke would be sorry to heare such Reports.
17
When nose unto nose so neare is ally'd
I leave it to ye criticks the case to decide
How two can ioyne issue though not of a side.
18
A [supr sedear?] doth chargeable prove
But this lawyer his client most dearly did love
And did for him below, wt most do above.
19
You Gownemen of Westmr greedily eye us
And laugh in yr sleeves, while you sell us & buy us
Wee'l [ferke?] you (I sayth) at a Nisi prius.
20
And dowbtles ye laity would freely reveale
Ye Client yt wth him so nobly did deale
But he to prevent him his mouth up did seale.
21
If any be sick of this griping disease
That nothing but money can put him in ease
I wish him good practice in such comon Pleas.
22
Wt must poore Clients think is his doome
Sure envy for taking another mans roome
To cleanse a fowle brother, no fancy like Broome.
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