Classic Poem

Tonopah Bill was a desert rat who had traveled the gold camps through;
He was first to hear of the latest strike wherever the rumors flew.
In the frozen north or the Rio Grande he had looked for elusive pay,
And the tales of his wonderful luck would spread in a most remarkable way.

He talked in an optimistic vein, as fitted the mining game,
And he carried his art to the Other Side when he staked his final claim,
For he started forth in the Milky Way and he rapped on the pearly gates,
And when St. Peter confronted him he asked for permanent rates.

But the good Saint shook his head and said, " No place in here for you!
We want no more within our door of the lawless mining crew.
They are blasting the golden streets at night to search for the hidden vein,
With hammer and drill and a double shift they prospect a copper stain.

" They have pitched their tents and staked their claims as far as the eye can see,
For they cannot forget the lure of the gold in all eternity. "
Now Tonopah Bill grinned a knowing grin and spoke in a forceful way,
" Good Saint, " quoth he, " there's a trick or two on that gang I would like to play.

" With a word or two I will send them hence and peace once more will reign.
They will pass at night through the pearly gates and never return again. "
It sounded remarkably like a bluff but the need of the Saint was sore,
And Bill had a confident way with him, as I have remarked before.

So the gates flew wide and he entered in, and straight to the camp he drew,
Where he told a marvelous tale to that restless mining crew.
No thought they gave that the tale was wild, no time did they take to prove,
But straight as the news was flashed around the camp was on the move.

St. Peter looked in a vast amaze and, " Tell me, " he began,
" What means you used to start so quick this mining caravan. "
" I told them news of a strike, " said Bill, " that just was made Below.
A million dollars it ran to the ton, and plenty there to show.

" Free milling rock in a fissure vein, well worth a heavy bet,
And I said if they hurried up a bit some ground was open yet. "
The good Saint looked aghast and said, " This story is absurd. "
" Perhaps, " said Bill with a cheerful grin. " 'Tis a rumor that I heard. "

It was not long ere the watchful Saint saw Bill approach again,
His mining tools were on his back and argument was in vain.
" I am mighty sorry to go, " said he, " and to say good bye to you,
But I'm off to join the others, for the rumor might be true. "