Classic Poem

SCENE ONE

The Emperor's Court .
Enter MARTINO and FREDERICK at several doors . MARTINO :
What ho, officers, gentlemen!
Hie to the presence to attend the Emperor.
Good Frederick, see the rooms be voided straight.
His Majesty is coming to the hall;
Go back, and see the state in readiness. FREDERICK :
But where is Bruno, our elected Pope,
That on a fury's back came post from Rome?
Will not his grace consort the Emperor? MARTINO :
Oh yes, and with him comes the German conjuror,
The learned Faustus, fame of Wittenberg,
The wonder of the world for magic art.
And he intends to show great Carolus
The race of all his stout progenitors,
And bring in presence of his Majesty
The royal shapes and warlike semblances
Of Alexander and his beauteous paramour. FREDERICK :
Where is Benvolio? MARTINO :
Fast asleep, I warrant you.
He took his rouse with stoups of Rhenish wine
So kindly yesternight to Bruno's health,
That all this day the sluggard keeps his bed. FREDERICK :
See, see, his window's ope. We'll call to him. MARTINO :
What ho, Benvolio?
Enter BENVOLIO above at a window in his nightcap, buttoning . BENVOLIO :
What a devil ail you two? MARTINO :
Speak softly, sir, lest the devil hear you;
For Faustus at the court is late arrived,
And at his heels a thousand furies wait
To accomplish whatsoever the Doctor please. BENVOLIO :
What of this? MARTINO :
Come, leave thy chamber first, and thou shalt see
This conjuror perform such rare exploits
Before the Pope and royal Emperor
As never yet was seen in Germany. BENVOLIO :
Has not the Pope enough of conjuring yet?
He was upon the devil's back late enough,
And if he be so far in love with him,
I would he would post with him to Rome again. FREDERICK :
Speak, wilt thou come and see this sport? BENVOLIO :
Not I. MARTINO :
Wilt thou stand in thy window and see it, then? BENVOLIO :
Ay, and I fall not asleep i' the meantime. MARTINO :
The Emperor is at hand, who comes to see
What wonders by black spells may compassed be. BENVOLIO :
Well, go you, attend the Emperor. I am content for this once to thrust my head out at a window, for they say if a man be drunk over night the devil cannot hurt him in the morning. If that be true, I have a charm in my head shall control him as well as the conjuror, I warrant you.
Exeunt Martino and Frederick .

SCENE TWO

Sennet . CHARLES , the German Emperor , BRUNO , SAXONY , FAUSTUS , MEPHOSTOPHILIS , FREDERICK , MARTINO , and ATTENDANTS . BENVOLIO still at the window . EMPEROR :
Wonder of men, renowned magician,
Thrice-learned Faustus, welcome to our court.
This deed of thine, in setting Bruno free
From his and our professed enemy,
Shall add more excellence unto thine art,
Than if by powerful necromantic spells
Thou couldst command the world's obedience.
For ever be beloved of Carolus;
And if this Bruno thou hast late redeemed,
In peace possess the triple diadem
And sit in Peter's chair, despite of chance,
Thou shalt be famous through all Italy,
And honoured of the German Emperor. FAUSTUS :
These gracious words, most royal Carolus,
Shall make poor Faustus to his utmost power
Both love and serve the German Emperor,
And lay his life at holy Bruno's feet.
For proof whereof, if so your Grace be pleased,
The Doctor stands prepared, by power of art,
To cast his magic charms that shall pierce through
The ebon gates of ever-burning hell,
And hale the stubborn furies from their caves,
To compass whatsoe'er your Grace commands. BENVOLIO
( aside ): Blood, he speaks terribly! But for all that, I do not greatly believe him. He looks as like a conjuror as the Pope to a coster-monger. EMPEROR :
Then, Faustus, as thou late didst promise us,
We would behold that famous conqueror,
Great Alexander, and his paramour,
In their true shapes and state majestical,
That we may wonder at their excellence. FAUSTUS :
Your Majesty shall see them presently.
Mephostophilis, away!
And with a solemn noise of trumpets' sound,
Present before this royal Emperor
Great Alexander and his beauteous paramour. MEPHOSTOPHILIS :
Faustus, I will. BENVOLIO :
Well, Master Doctor, an your devils come not away quickly, you shall have me asleep presently. Zounds, I could eat myself for anger, to think I have been such an ass all this while, to stand gaping after the devil's governor, and can see nothing. FAUSTUS :
I'll make you feel something anon, if my art fail me not.
My lord, I must forwarn your Majesty
That when my spirits present the royal shapes
Of Alexander and his paramour,
Your Grace demand no questions of the King,
But in dumb silence let them come and go. EMPEROR :
Be it as Faustus please, we are content. BENVOLIO :
Ay, ay, and I am content too. And thou bring
Alexander and his paramour before the Emperor, I'll be
Acteon and turn myself to a stag. FAUSTUS :
And I'll play Diana, and send you the horns presently.
Sennet. Enter at one the EMPEROR ALEXANDER , at the other DARIUS . They meet . DARIUS is thrown down ; ALEXANDER kills him, takes off his crown, and, offering to go out, his PARAMOUR meets him. He embraceth her and sets DARIUS ' crown upon her head, and coming back, both salute the EMPEROR , who, leaving his state, offers to embrace them, which FAUSTUS seeing, suddenly stays him. Then trumpets cease and music sounds .
My gracious lord, you do forget yourself.
These are but shadows, not substantial. EMPEROR :
Oh pardon me, my thoughts are so ravished
With sight of this renowned Emperor,
That in mine arms I would have compassed him.
But, Faustus, since I may not speak to them,
To satisfy my longing thoughts at full,
Let me this tell thee: I have heard it said
That this fair lady, whilst she lived on earth,
Had on her neck a little wart or mole.
How may I prove that saying to be true? FAUSTUS :
Your Majesty may boldly go and see. EMPEROR :
Faustus, I see it plain,
And in this sight thou better pleasest me
Than if I gained another monarchy. FAUSTUS :
Away, be gone.
Exit SHOW :
See, see, my gracious lord, what strange beast is yon, that thrusts his head out at window? EMPEROR :
Oh, wondrous sight! See, Duke of Saxony,
Two spreading horns most strangely fastened
Upon the head of young Benvolio! SAXONY :
What, is he asleep? Or dead? FAUSTUS :
He sleeps, my lord: but dreams not of his horns. EMPEROR :
This sport is excellent. We'll call and wake him.
What ho, Benvolio! BENVOLIO :
A plague upon you! Let me sleep awhile. EMPEROR :
I blame thee not to sleep much, having such a head of thine own. SAXONY :
Look up, Benvolio, 'tis the Emperor calls. BENVOLIO :
The Emperor? Where? Oh, zounds, my head! EMPEROR :
Nay, and thy horns hold, 'tis no matter for thy head, for that's armed sufficiently. FAUSTUS :
Why, how now, Sir Knight? What, hanged by the horns? This most horrible! Fie, fie! Pull in your head for shame; let not all the world wonder at you. BENVOLIO :
Zounds, Doctor, is this your villainy? FAUSTUS :
Oh, say not so, sir. The Doctor has no skill,
No art, no cunning, to present these lords
Or bring before this royal Emperor
The mighty monarch, warlike Alexander.
If Faustus do it, you are straight resolved
In bold Acteon's shape to turn a stag.
And therefore, my lord, so please your majesty,
I'll raise a kennel of hounds shall hunt him so
As all his footmanship shall scarce prevail
To keep his carcass from their bloody fangs.
Ho, Belimote, Argiron, Asterote! BENVOLIO :
Hold, hold! Zounds, he'll raise up a kennel of devils, I think anon. Good my lord, entreat for me. 'Sblood, I am never never able to endure these torments. EMPEROR :
Then, good Master Doctor,
Let me entreat you to remove his horns:
He has done penance now sufficiently. FAUSTUS :
My gracious lord, not so much for injury done to me, as to delight your majesty with some mirth, hath Faustus justly requited this injurious knight; which being all I desire, I am content to remove his horns. Mephostophilis, transform him. And hereafter, sir, look you speak well of scholars. BENVOLIO ( aside ):
Speak well of ye? 'Sblood, and scholars be such cuckold-makers to clap horns of honest men's heads o' this order, I'll ne'er trust smooth faces and small ruffs more. But an I be not revenged for this, would I might be turned to a gaping oyster and drink nothing but salt water. EMPEROR :
Come, Faustus, while the Emperor lives,
In recompense of this thy high desert,
Thou shalt command the state of Germany,
And live beloved of mighty Carolus.
Exeunt omnes .

SCENE THREE

Enter BENVOLIO , MARTINO , FREDERICK and SOLDIERS . MARTINO :
Nay, sweet Benvolio, let us sway thy thoughts
From this attempt against the conjuror. BENVOLIO :
Away, you love me not, to urge me thus.
Shall I let slip so great an injury,
When every servile groom jests at my wrongs,
And in their rustic gambols proudly say
Benvolio's head was graced with horns today?
Oh, may these eyelids never close again
Till with my sword I have that conjuror slain.
If you will aid me in this enterprise,
Then draw your weapons and be resolute.
If not, depart. Here will Benvolio die,
But Faustus' death shall quit my infamy. FREDERICK :
Nay, we will stay with thee, betide what may,
And kill that Doctor if he come this way. BENVOLIO :
Then, gentle Frederick, hie thee to the grove,
And place our servants and our followers
Close in an ambush there behind the trees.
By this I know the conjuror is near:
I saw him kneel and kiss the Emperor's hand,
And take his leave, laden with rich rewards.
Then, soldiers, boldly fight. If Faustus die,
Take you the wealth, leave us the victory. FREDERICK :
Come, soldiers, follow me unto the grove.
Who kills him shall have gold and endless love.
Exit FREDERICK with the SOLDIERS . BENVOLIO :
My head is lighter than it was by th'horns,
But yet my heart more ponderous than my head,
And pants until I see that conjuror dead. MARTINO :
Where shall we place ourselves, Benvolio? BENVOLIO :
Here will we stay to bide the first assault.
Oh, were that damned hell-hound but in place,
Thou soon shouldst see me quit my foul disgrace.
Enter FREDERICK . FREDERICK :
Close, close! The conjuror is at hand,
And all alone comes walking in his gown.
Be ready then, and strike the peasant down. BENVOLIO :
Mine be that honour, then. Now sword, strike home.
For horns he gave, I'll have his head anon.
Enter FAUSTUS with a false head . MARTINO :
See, see, he comes. BENVOLIO :
No words. This blow ends all.
Hell take his soul; his body thus must fall.
Attacks FAUSTUS . FAUSTUS :
Oh! FREDERICK :
Groan you, Master Doctor? BENVOLIO :
Break may his heart with groans! Dear Frederick, see,
Thus will I end his griefs immediately.
Cuts off his head . MARTINO :
Strike with a willing hand: his head is off. BENVOLIO :
The devil's dead! The Furies now may laugh. FREDERICK :
Was this that stern aspect, that awful frown,
Made the grim monarch of infernal spirits
Tremble and quake at his commanding charms? MARTINO :
Was this that damned head, whose heart conspired
Benvolio's shame before the Emperor? BENVOLIO :
Ay, that's the head, and here the body lies,
Justly rewarded for his villainies. FREDERICK :
Come, let's devise how we may add more shame
To the black scandal of his hated name. BENVOLIO :
First, on his head, in quittance of my wrongs,
I'll nail huge forked horns, and let them hang
Within the window where he yoked me first,
That all the world may see my just revenge. MARTINO :
What use shall we put his beard to? BENVOLIO :
We'll sell it to a chimney-sweeper: it will wear out ten birching brooms, I warrant you. FREDERICK :
What shall eyes do? BENVOLIO :
We'll put out his eyes, and they shall serve for buttons to his lips, to keep his tongue from catching cold. MARTINO :
An excellent policy! And now, sirs, having divided him, what shall the body do?
FAUSTUS rises . BENVOLIO :
Zounds, the devil's alive again! FREDERICK :
Give him his head, for God's sake! FAUSTUS :
Nay, keep it. Faustus will have heads and hands.
I call your hearts to recompense this deed.
Knew you not, traitors, I was limited
For four and twenty years to breathe on earth?
And had you cut my body with your swords,
Or hewed this flesh and bones as small as sand,
Yet in a minute had my spirit returned,
And I had breathed a man made free from harm.
But wherefore do I dally my revenge?
Asteroth, Belimoth, Mephostophilis!
Enter MEPHOSTOPHILIS and other DEVILS .
Go, horse these traitors on your fiery backs,
And mount aloft with them as high as heaven;
Thence pitch them headlong to the lowest hell.
Yet stay, the world shall see their misery,
And hell shall after plague their treachery.
Go, Belimoth, and take this caitiff hence,
And hurl him in some lake of mud and dirt.
Take thou this other: drag him through the woods
Amongst the pricking thorns and sharpest briars,
Whilst with my gentle Mephostophilis,
This traitor flies unto some steepy rock,
That rolling down may break the villain's bones,
As he intended to dismember me.
Fly hence, dispatch my charge immediately. FREDERICK :
Pity us, gentle Faustus! Save our lives! FAUSTUS :
Away! FREDERICK :
He must needs go that the devil drives.
Exeunt SPIRITS with the KNIGHTS .
Enter the AMBUSH SOLDIERS . FIRST SOLDIER :
Come, sirs, prepare yourselves in readiness.
Make haste to help these noble gentlemen.
I heard them parley with the conjuror. SECOND SOLDIER :
See, where he comes. Dispatch and kill the slave. FAUSTUS :
What's here? An ambush to betray my life!
Then Faustus, try thy skill. Base peasants, stand!
For lo, these trees remove at my command,
And stand as bulwarks twixt yourselves and me,
To shield me from your hated treachery.
Yet, to encounter this your weak attempt,
Behold an army comes incontinent.
FAUSTUS strikes the door, and enter a devil playing on a drum; after him another bearing an ensign; and divers with weapons; MEPHOSTOPHILIS with fireworks. They set upon the soldiers and drive them out .

SCENE FOUR

Enter at several doors BENVOLIO , FREDERICK and MARTINO , their heads and faces bloody and besmeared with mud and dirt, all having horus on their heads . MARTINO :
What ho, Benvolio! BENVOLIO :
Here! What, Frederick, ho! FREDERICK :
Oh help me, gentle friend. Where is Martino? MARTINO :
Dear Frederick, here,
Half smothered in a lake of mud and dirt,
Through which the Furies dragged me by the heels. FREDERICK :
Martino, see
Benvolio's horns again! MARTINO :
Oh misery! How now, Benvolio? BENVOLIO :
Defend me, heaven! Shall I be haunted still? MARTINO :
Nay, fear not, man; we have no power to kill. BENVOLIO :
My friends transformed thus! Oh hellish spite!
Your heads are all set with horns! FREDERICK :
You hit it right:
It is your own you mean. Feel on your head. BENVOLIO :
Zounds, horns again! MARTINO :
Nay, chafe not, man. We all are sped. BENVOLIO :
What devil attends this damned magician,
That, spite of spite, our wrongs are doubled? FREDERICK :
What may we do, that we may hide our shames? BENVOLIO :
If we should follow him to work revenge,
He'd join long asses' ears to these huge horns,
And make us laughing stocks to all the world. MARTINO :
What shall we then do, dear Benvolio? BENVOLIO :
I have a castle joining near these woods,
And thither we'll repair and live obscure,
Till time shall alter these our brutish shapes.
Sith black disgrace hath thus eclipsed our fame,
We'll rather die with grief, than live with shame.
Exeunt omnes .

SCENE FIVE

Enter FAUSTUS and MEPHOSTOPHILIS . FAUSTUS :
Now, Mephostophilis, the restless course that time doth run with calm and deadly foot,
Shortening my days and thread of vital life,
Calls for the payment of my latest years.
Therefore, sweet Mephostophilis, let us make haste to Wittenberg. MEPHOSTOPHILIS :
What, will you go on horseback, or on foot? FAUSTUS :
Nay, till I am past this fair and pleasant green
I'll walk on foot.
Enter a HORSE-COURSER . HORSE-COURSER :
I have been all this day seeking one master Fustian. Mass, see where he is! God save you, Master Doctor. FAUSTUS :
What, horse-courser! You are well met. HORSE-COURSER :
Do you hear, sir? I have brought you forty dollars for your horse. FAUSTUS :
I cannot sell him so. If thou likest him for fifty, take him. HORSE-COURSER :
Alas, sir, I have no more. I pray you, speak for me. MEPHOSTOPHILIS :
I pray you, let him have him. He is an honest fellow, and he has a great charge, neither wife nor child. FAUSTUS :
Well, come, give me your money. My boy will deliver him to you. But I must tell you one thing before you have him: ride him not into the water at any hand. HORSE-COURSER :
Why, sir, will he not drink of all waters? FAUSTUS :
Oh yes, he will drink of all waters; but ride him not into the water. Ride him over hedge or ditch or where thou wilt, but not into the water. HORSE-COURSER :
Well, sir, now I am a made man for ever. I'll not leave my horse for forty. If he had but the quality of hey ding ding, hey ding ding, I'd make a brave living on him. He has a buttock as slick as an eel. Well, God bye, sir. Your boy will deliver him me. But hark ye sir: if my horse be sick or ill at ease, if I bring his water to you, you'll tell me what is? FAUSTUS :
Away, you villain! What, dost think I am a horse-doctor?
Exit HORSE-COURSER .
What art thou, Faustus, but a man condemned to die?
Thy fatal time doth draw to final end:
Despair doth drive distrust into my thoughts.
Confound these passions with a quiet sleep.
Tush, Christ did call the thief upon the cross;
Then rest thee, Faustus, quiet in conceit.
Sleeps in his chair .
Enter HORSE-COURSER all wet, crying . HORSE-COURSER :
Alas, alas, Doctor Fustian quotha! Mass, Doctor Lopus was never such a doctor. Has given me a purgation has purged me of forty dollars: I shall never see them more. But yet like an ass as I was, I would not be ruled by him, for he bade me I should ride him into no water. Now I, thinking my horse had had some rare quality that he would not have had me known of, I, like a venturous youth, rid him into the deep pond at the town's end. I was no sooner in the middle of the pond but my horse vanished away, and I sat upon a bottle of hay, never so near drowning in my life. But I'll seek out my Doctor and have my forty dollars again, or I'll make it the dearest horse. Oh, yonder is his snipper-snapper. Do you hear? You! Hey-pass, where's your master? MEPHOSTOPHILIS :
Why, sir, what would you? You cannot speak with him. HORSE-COURSER :
But I will speak with him. MEPHOSTOPHILIS :
Why, he's fast asleep. Come some other time. HORSE-COURSER :
I'll speak with him now, or I'll break his glass windows about his ears. MEPHOSTOPHILIS :
I tell thee he has not slept this eight nights. HORSE-COURSER :
And he have not slept this eight weeks I'll speak with him. MEPHOSTOPHILIS :
See where he is fast asleep. HORSE-COURSER :
Ay, this is he. God save ye, Master Doctor. Master Doctor! Master Doctor Fustian! Forty dollars, forty dollars for a bottle of hay! MEPHOSTOPHILIS :
Why, thou seest he hears thee not. HORSE-COURSER :
So, ho, ho! So, ho, ho!
Hollows in his ear .
No, will you not wake? I'll make you wake e'er I go.
He pulls him by the leg, and pulls it away .
Alas, I am undone! What shall I do? FAUSTUS :
Oh, my leg, my leg! Help, Mephostophilis.
Call the officers. My leg, my leg! MEPHOSTOPHILIS :
Come, villain, to the Constable. HORSE-COURSER :
Oh lord, sir, let me go and I'll give you-forty dollars more. MEPHOSTOPHILIS :
Where be they? HORSE-COURSER :
I have none about me. Come to my hostry and I'll give them you. MEPHOSTOPHILIS :
Be gone, quickly!
HORSE-COURSER runs away . FAUSTUS :
What, is he gone? Farewell he. Faustus has his leg again, and the horse-courser, I take it, a bottle of hay for his labour. Well, this trick shall cost him forty dollars more.
Enter WAGNER . FAUSTUS :
How now, Wagner, what news with thee? WAGNER :
If it please you, the Duke of Vanholt doth earnestly entreat your company, and hath sent some of his men to attend you with provision for your journey. FAUSTUS :
The Duke of Vanholt's an honourable gentleman, and one to whom I must be no niggard of my cunning. Come, away.
Exeunt .

SCENE SIX

Enter CLOWN , DICK , HORSE-COURSER and a CARTER . CARTER :
Come, my masters, I'll bring you to the best beer in Europe. What ho, hostess. Where be these whores?
Enter HOSTESS . HOSTESS :
How now, what lack you? What, my old guests, welcome! CLOWN :
Sirrah Dick, dost thou know why I stand so mute? DICK :
No, Robin, why is't? CLOWN :
I am eighteen pence on the score. But say nothing. See if she have forgotten me. HOSTESS :
Who's this, that stands so solemnly by himself? What, my old guest? CLOWN :
Oh, hostess, how do you? I hope my score stands still. HOSTESS :
Ay, there's no doubt of that, for methinks you make no haste to wipe it out. DICK :
Why, hostess, I say, fetch us some beer. HOSTESS :
You shall presently. Look up into the hall there, ho!
Exit . DICK :
Come, sirs, what shall we do now till mine hostess comes? CARTER :
Marry, sir, I'll tell you the bravest tale how a conjuror served me. You know Doctor Fauster? HORSE-COURSER :
Ay, a plague take him. Here's some on's have cause to know him. Did he conjure thee too? CARTER :
I'll tell you how he served me. As I was going to Wittenberg t'other day, with a load of hay, he met me and asked me what he should give me for as much hay as he could eat. Now, sir, I, thinking that a little would serve his turn, bad him take as much as he would for three-farthings. So he presently gave me my money and fell to eating. And, as I am a cursen man, he never left eating till he had eat up all my load of hay. ALL :
Oh monstrous! Eat a whole load of hay? CLOWN :
Yes, yes, that may be, for I have heard of one that has eat a load of logs. HORSE-COURSER :
Now, sirs, you shall hear how villainously he served me. I went to him yesterday to buy a horse of him, and he would by no means sell him under forty dollars. So, sir, because I knew him to be such a horse as would run over hedge and ditch and never tire, I gave him his money. So when I had my horse, Doctor Fauster bade me ride him night and day and spare him no time. But, quoth he, in any case ride him not into the water. Now, sir, I thinking the horse had some quality that he would not have me know of, what did I but ride him into a great river, and when I came just in the midst, my horse vanished away, and I sat straddling upon a bottle of hay. ALL :
Oh brave Doctor! HORSE-COURSER :
But you shall hear how bravely I served him for it: I went me home to his house, and there I found him asleep. I kept a-hallowing and whooping in his ears, but all could not wake him. I, seeing that, took him by the leg and never rested pulling, till I had pulled me his leg quite off, and now 'tis at home in mine hostry. CLOWN :
And has the Doctor but one leg, then? That's excellent, for one of his devils turned me into the likeness of an ape's face. CARTER :
Some more drink, hostess. CLOWN :
Hark you, we'll into another room and drink a while, and then we'll go seek out the Doctor.
Exeunt omnes .

SCENE SEVEN

Enter the DUKE OF VANHOLT , his DUCHESS , FAUSTUS and MEPHOSTOPHILIS . DUKE :
Thanks, Master Doctor, for these pleasant sights. Nor know I how sufficiently to recompense your great deserts in erecting that enchanted castle in the air, the sight whereof so delighted me, as nothing in the world could please me more. FAUSTUS :
I do think myself, my good lord, highly recompensed in that it pleaseth your grace to think but well of that which Faustus hath performed. But, gracious lady, it may be that you have taken no pleasure in those sights. Therefore, I pray you tell me, what is the thing you most desire to have. Be it in the world, it shall be yours. I have heard that great-bellied women do long for things are rare and dainty. LADY :
True, Master Doctor, and since I find you so kind, I will make known unto you what my heart desires to have; and were it now summer, as it is January, a dead time of the winter, I would request no better meat than a dish of ripe grapes. FAUSTUS :
This is but a small matter. Go, Mephostophilis, away.
Exit MEPHOSTOPHILIS .
Madame, I will do more than this for your content.
Enter MEPHOSTOPHILIS again with the grapes .
Here, now taste ye these. They should be good, for they come from a far country, I can tell you. DUKE :
This makes me wonder more than all the rest, that at this time of the year, when every tree is barren of his fruit, from whence you had these ripe grapes. FAUSTUS :
Please it your grace, the year is divided into two circles over the whole world, so that when it is winter with us, in the contrary circle it is likewise summer with them, as in India, Saba and such countries that lie far East, where they have fruit twice a year. From whence, by means of a swift spirit that I have, I had these grapes brought as you see. LADY :
And trust me, they are the sweetest grapes that e'er I tasted.
The CLOWNS bounce at the gate within . DUKE :
What rude disturbers have we at the gate?
Go, pacify their fury. Set it ope,
And then demand of them what they would have.
They knock again and call out to talk with FAUSTUS . A SERVANT :
Why, how now, masters? What a coil is there?
What is the reason you disturb the Duke? DICK :
We have no reason for it, therefore a fig for him. SERVANT :
Why, saucy varlets, dare you be so bold? HORSE-COURSER :
I hope, sir, we have wit enough to be more bold than welcome. SERVANT :
It appears so. Pray be bold elsewhere,
And trouble not the Duke. DUKE :
What would they have? SERVANT :
They all cry out to speak with Doctor Faustus. CARTER :
Ay, and we will speak with him. DUKE :
Will you, sir? Commit the rascals. DICK :
Commit with us! He were as good commit with his father as commit with us. FAUSTUS :
I do beseech your grace let them come in.
They are good subject for a merriment. DUKE :
Do as thou wilt, Faustus; I give thee leave. FAUSTUS :
I thank your grace.
Enter the CLOWN , DICK , CARTER and HORSE-COURSER .
Why, how now, my good friends?
Faith, you are too outrageous, but come near.
I have procured your pardons. Welcome all. CLOWN :
Nay, sir, we will be welcome for our money, and we will pay for what we take. What ho! Give's half-a-dozen of beer here, and be hanged. FAUSTUS :
Nay, hark you. Can you tell me where you are? CARTER :
Ay, marry can I. We are under heaven. SERVANT :
Ay, but, sir sauce-box, know you in what place? HORSE-COURSER :
Ay, ay, the house is good enough to drink in. Zounds, fill us some beer or we'll break all the barrels in the house and dash out all your brains with your bottles. FAUSTUS :
Be not so furious. Come, you shall have beer.
My lord, beseech you give me leave awhile.
I'll gage my credit, 'twill content your Grace. DUKE :
With all my heart, kind Doctor; please thyself.
Our servants and our court's at thy command. FAUSTUS :
I humbly thank your Grace. Then fetch some beer. HORSE-COURSER :
Ay, marry. There spake a doctor indeed, and faith, I'll drink a health to thy wooden leg for that word. FAUSTUS :
My wooden leg? What dost thou mean by that? CARTER :
Ha, ha, ha! Dost thou hear him, Dick? He has forgot his leg. HORSE-COURSER :
Ay, ay, he does not stand much upon that. FAUSTUS :
No, faith. Not much upon a wooden leg. CARTER :
Good lord! That flesh and blood should be so frail with your worship. Do not you remember a horse-courser you sold a horse to? FAUSTUS :
Yes, I remember I sold one a horse. CARTER :
And do you remember you bid he should not ride into the water? FAUSTUS :
Yes, I do very well remember that. CARTER :
And do you remember nothing of your leg? FAUSTUS :
No, in good sooth. CARTER :
Then I pray remember your courtesy. FAUSTUS :
I thank you, sir. CARTER :
'Tis not so much worth. I pray you, tell me one thing. FAUSTUS :
What's that? CARTER :
Be both your legs bedfellows every night together? FAUSTUS :
Wouldst thou make a colossus of me, that thou askest me such questions? CARTER :
No, truly, sir. I would make nothing of you, but I would fain know that.
Enter HOSTESS with drink . FAUSTUS :
Then I assure thee certainly they are. CARTER :
I thank you, I am fully satisfied. FAUSTUS :
But wherefore dost thou ask? CARTER :
For nothing, sir: but methinks you should have a wooden bedfellow of one of 'em. HORSE-COURSER :
Why, do you hear, sir? Did not I pull off one of your legs when you were asleep? FAUSTUS :
But I have it again now I am awake. Look you here, sir. ALL :
Oh horrible! Had the Doctor three legs? CARTER :
Do you remember, sir, how you cozened me and eat up my load of ÔÇô
FAUSTUS charms him dumb . DICK :
Do you remember how you made me wear an ape's ÔÇô HORSE-COURSER :
You whoreson conjuring scab, do you remember how you cozened me with a ho ÔÇô CLOWN :
Ha'you forgotten me? You think to carry it away with your hey-pass and re-pass. Do you remember the dog's fa ÔÇô
FAUSTUS has charmed each dumb in turn; exeunt CLOWNS . HOSTESS :
Who pays for the ale? Hear you, Master
Doctor, now you have sent away my guests, I pray who shall pay me for my aÔÇô?
Exit HOSTESS . LADY :
My lord,
We are much beholding to this learned man. DUKE :
So are we, madam, which we will recompense
With all the love and kindness that we may.
His artful sport drives all sad thoughts away.
Exeunt.