Edward the First - Scene 12
[SCENE XII.]
Enter the Friar D AVID alone .
Friar . I have a budget in my nose this gay morning, and now will I try how clerkly the friar can behave himself. 'Tis a common fashion to get gold with " Stand: deliver your purses! " Friar Davies will once in his days get money by wit. There is a rich farmer should pass this ways to receive a round sum of money: if he come to me, the money is mine, and the law shall take no vantage; I will cut off the law as the hangman would cut a man down when he hath shaken his heels half-an-hour under the gallows. Well, I must take some pains for this gold; and have at it!
Enter a Farmer.
Farmer . 'Tis an old said saying, I remember I read it in Cato's Pueriles , that Cantabit vacuus coram latrone viator ; a man's purse-penniless may sing before a thief: true, as I have not one penny, which makes me so pertly pass through these thickets. But indeed I am to receive a hundred marks; and all the care is how I shall pass again. Well, I am resolved either to ride twenty miles about, or else to be so well accompanied that I will not care for these rufflers.
Friar . Did ever man play with such uncircumcised hands? size-ace to eleven and lose the chance!
Farmer . God speed, good fellow! why chafest thou so fast? there's nobody will win thy money from thee.
Friar . Zounds, you offer me injury, sir, to speak in my cast.
Farmer [ aside ]. The friar undoubtedly is lunatic. — I pray thee, good fellow, leave chafing, and get some warm drink to comfort thy brains.
Friar . Alas, sir, I am not lunatic: 'tis not so well, for I have lost my money, which is far worse. I have lost five gold nobles to Saint Francis; and if I knew where to meet with his receiver, I would pay him presently.
Farmer . Wouldst thou speak with Saint Francis' receiver?
Friar . O Lord, ay, sir, full gladly.
Farmer . Why, man, I am Saint Francis' receiver, if you would have anything with him.
Friar . Are you Saint Francis' receiver? Jesus, Jesus! are you Saint Francis' receiver? and how does all?
Farmer . I am his receiver, and am now going to him: 'a bids Saint Thomas a'Waterings to breakfast this morning to a calf's-head and bacon.
Friar . Good Lord, sir, I beseech you carry him these five nobles, and tell him I deal honestly with him as if he were here present.
Farmer . I will of my word and honesty, friar; and so farewell.
Friar . Farewell, Saint Francis' receiver, even heartily. [ Exit Farmer.] Well, now the friar is out of cash five nobles, God knows how he shall come into cash again: but I must to it again. There's nine for your holiness and six for me.
Enter L LUELLEN , Rice AP M EREDITH and [M ORTIMER , disguised as a] Potter with their Prisoners.
Lluellen . Come on, my hearts: bring forth your prisoners, and let us see what store of fish is there in their purse-nets. — Friar, why chafest thou, man? here's nobody will offer thee any foul play, I warrant thee.
Friar . O, good master, give me leave: my hand is in a little; I trust I shall recover my losses.
Lluellen . The friar is mad; but let him alone with his device. — And now to you, my masters, Pedler, Priest, and Piper: throw down your budgets in the meanwhile, and when the friar is at leisure he shall tell you what you shall trust to.
Pedler . Alas, Sir, I have but three pence in the corner of my shoe.
Rice ap Mer . Never a shoulder of mutton, Piper, in your tabor? — But soft! here comes company.
Enter L ONGSHANKS , D AVID , Farmer.
Farmer . Alas, gentlemen, if you love yourselves, do not venter through this mountain: here's such a coil with Robin Hood and his rabble, that every cross in my purse trembles for fear.
Longsh . Honest man, as I said to thee before, conduct us through this wood, and if thou beest robbed or have any violence offered thee, as I am a gentleman, I will repay it thee again.
Sir David . How much money hast thou about thee?
Farmer . Faith, sir, a hundred marks; I received it even now at Brecknock. But, out alas, we are undone! yonder is Robin Hood and all the strong thieves in the mountain. I have no hope left but your honour's assurance.
Longsh . Fear not; I will be my word's master.
Friar . Good master, and if you love the friar,
Give aim a while, I you desire,
And as you like of my device,
So love him that holds the dice.
Farmer . What, friar, art thou still labouring so hard?
Will you have anything more to Saint Francis?
Friar . Good Lord, are you here, sweet Saint Francis' receiver? How doth his holiness, and all his good family?
Farmer . In good health, faith, friar: hast thou any nobles for him?
Friar . You know the dice are not partial: and Saint Francis were ten saints, they will favour him no more than they would favour the devil, if he play at dice. In very truth, my friend, they have favoured the friar, and I have won a hundred marks of Saint Francis. Come, sir; I pray, sirrah, draw it over: I know, sirrah, he is a good man, and never deceives none.
Farmer . Draw it over! what meanest thou by that?
Friar . Why, in numeratis pecuniis legem pone ; pay me my winnings.
Farmer . What ass is this! should I pay thee thy winnings?
Friar . Why, art not thou, sirrah, Saint Francis' receiver?
Farmer . Indeed, I do receive for Saint Francis.
Friar . Then I'll make you pay for Saint Francis, that's flat.
Farmer . Help, help! I am robbed, I am robbed!
Longsh . Villain, you wrong the man: hands off!
Friar . Masters, I beseech you leave this brawling, and give me leave to speak. So it is, I went to dice with Saint Francis, and lost five nobles: by good fortune his cashier came by, and received it of me in ready cash. I, being very desirous to try my fortune further, played still; and as the dice, not being bound prentice to him or any man, favoured me, I drew a hand and won a hundred marks. Now I refer it to your judgments, whether the friar is to seek his winnings.
Longsh . Marry, friar, the farmer must and shall pay thee honestly ere he pass.
Farmer . Shall I, sir? Why, will you be content to pay half as you promised me?
Longsh . Ay, farmer, if you had been robbed of it; but if you be a gamester, I'll take no charge of you, I.
Farmer . Alas, I am undone!
Lluellen . So, Sir Friar, now you have gathered up your winnings, I pray you stand up and give the passengers their charge, that Robin Hood may receive his toll.
Friar . And shall, my lord. Our thrice-renowmed Lluellen, Prince of Wales and Robin Hood of the great mountain, doth will and command all passengers, at the sight of Richard, servant unto me Friar David ap Tuck, to lay down their weapons, and quietly to yield, for custom towards the maintenance of his highness' wars, the half of all such gold, silver, money, and money-worth, as the said passenger hath then about him; but if he conceal any part or parcel of the same, then shall he forfeit all that he possesseth at that present. And this sentence is irrevocable, confirmed by our lord Lluellen Prince of Wales and Robin Hood of the great mountain.
Lluellen . So vail your budgets to Robin of the mountain. — But what art thou that disdainest to pay this custom, as if thou scornest the greatness of the Prince of Wales?
Longsh . Faith, Robin, thou seemest to be a good fellow: there's my bag; half is mine, and half is thine. But let's to it, if thou darest, man for man, to try who shall have the whole.
Lluellen . Why, thou speakest as thou shouldst speak. — My masters, on pain of my displeasure, depart the place, and leave us two to ourselves. I must lop his longshanks, 'fore I'll ear to a pair of longshanks.
Longsh . They are fair marks, sir, and I must defend as I may. — Davy, be gone. — Hold here, my hearts: long-legs gives you this amongst you to spend blows one with another.
Sir David [aside]. Now Davy's days are almost come at end.
Mortimer [ aside ]. But, Mortimer, this sight is strange. Stay thou in some corner to see what will befall in this battle.
Longsh . Now, Robin of the Wood, alias Robin Hood, be it known to your worship by these presents, that the longshanks which you aim at have brought the King of England into these mountains to visit Lluellen, and to crack a blade with his man that supposeth himself Prince of Wales.
Lluellen . What, Sir King! welcome to Cambria. What, foolish Edward, darest thou endanger thyself to travel these mountains? Art thou so foolish-hardy as to combat with the Prince of Wales?
Longsh . What I dare, thou seest; what I can perform, thou shalt shortly know. I think thee a gentleman, and therefore hold no scorn to fight with thee.
Lluellen . No, Edward; I am as good a man as thyself.
Longsh . That shall I try.
Hallo, Edward! how are thy senses confounded! —
What, Davy, is it possible thou shouldst be false to England?
Sir David . Edward, I am true to Wales, and so have been friends since my birth, and that shall the King of England know to his cost.
Lluellen . What, potter, did not I charge you to be gone with your fellows?
Mortimer . No traitor, no potter I, but Mortimer, the Earl of March; whose coming to these woods is to deceive thee of thy love, and reserved to save my sovereign's life.
Sir David . Upon them, brother! let them not breathe.
Longsh . Villain, thou diest! God and my right have prevailed.
Sir David . Base earl! now doth David triumph in thine overthrow. — Ay is me! Lluellen at the feet of Longshanks!
Longsh . What, Mortimer under the sword of such a traitor!
Mortimer . Brave king, run thy sword up to the hilts into the blood of the rebel.
Longsh . O, Mortimer, thy life is dearer to me than millions of rebels.
Sir David . Edward, release my brother, and Mortimer lives.
Longsh . Ay, villain, thou knowest too well how dear I hold my Mortimer. [ To L LUELLEN .] Rise, man, and assure thee that the hate I bear to thee is love in respect of the deadly hatred I bear to that notorious rebel.
Mortimer . Away! his sight to me is like the sight of a cockatrice. — Villain, I go to revenge me on thy treason, and to make thee pattern to the world of monstrous treason, falsehood, and ingratitude.
Sir David . Brother, 'a chafes; but hard was your hap to be overmastered by the coward.
Lluellen . No coward, David: his courage is like to the lion, and were it not that rule and sovereignty set us at jar. I could love and honour the man for his valour.
Sir David . But the potter, — O, the villain will never out of my mind whilst I live! and I will lay to be revenged on his villany.
Lluellen . Well, David, what will be shall be; therefore casting these matters out of our heads, David, thou art welcome to Cambria. Let us in and be merry after this cold cooling, and to prepare to strengthen ourselves against the last threatenings.
Enter the Friar D AVID alone .
Friar . I have a budget in my nose this gay morning, and now will I try how clerkly the friar can behave himself. 'Tis a common fashion to get gold with " Stand: deliver your purses! " Friar Davies will once in his days get money by wit. There is a rich farmer should pass this ways to receive a round sum of money: if he come to me, the money is mine, and the law shall take no vantage; I will cut off the law as the hangman would cut a man down when he hath shaken his heels half-an-hour under the gallows. Well, I must take some pains for this gold; and have at it!
Enter a Farmer.
Farmer . 'Tis an old said saying, I remember I read it in Cato's Pueriles , that Cantabit vacuus coram latrone viator ; a man's purse-penniless may sing before a thief: true, as I have not one penny, which makes me so pertly pass through these thickets. But indeed I am to receive a hundred marks; and all the care is how I shall pass again. Well, I am resolved either to ride twenty miles about, or else to be so well accompanied that I will not care for these rufflers.
Friar . Did ever man play with such uncircumcised hands? size-ace to eleven and lose the chance!
Farmer . God speed, good fellow! why chafest thou so fast? there's nobody will win thy money from thee.
Friar . Zounds, you offer me injury, sir, to speak in my cast.
Farmer [ aside ]. The friar undoubtedly is lunatic. — I pray thee, good fellow, leave chafing, and get some warm drink to comfort thy brains.
Friar . Alas, sir, I am not lunatic: 'tis not so well, for I have lost my money, which is far worse. I have lost five gold nobles to Saint Francis; and if I knew where to meet with his receiver, I would pay him presently.
Farmer . Wouldst thou speak with Saint Francis' receiver?
Friar . O Lord, ay, sir, full gladly.
Farmer . Why, man, I am Saint Francis' receiver, if you would have anything with him.
Friar . Are you Saint Francis' receiver? Jesus, Jesus! are you Saint Francis' receiver? and how does all?
Farmer . I am his receiver, and am now going to him: 'a bids Saint Thomas a'Waterings to breakfast this morning to a calf's-head and bacon.
Friar . Good Lord, sir, I beseech you carry him these five nobles, and tell him I deal honestly with him as if he were here present.
Farmer . I will of my word and honesty, friar; and so farewell.
Friar . Farewell, Saint Francis' receiver, even heartily. [ Exit Farmer.] Well, now the friar is out of cash five nobles, God knows how he shall come into cash again: but I must to it again. There's nine for your holiness and six for me.
Enter L LUELLEN , Rice AP M EREDITH and [M ORTIMER , disguised as a] Potter with their Prisoners.
Lluellen . Come on, my hearts: bring forth your prisoners, and let us see what store of fish is there in their purse-nets. — Friar, why chafest thou, man? here's nobody will offer thee any foul play, I warrant thee.
Friar . O, good master, give me leave: my hand is in a little; I trust I shall recover my losses.
Lluellen . The friar is mad; but let him alone with his device. — And now to you, my masters, Pedler, Priest, and Piper: throw down your budgets in the meanwhile, and when the friar is at leisure he shall tell you what you shall trust to.
Pedler . Alas, Sir, I have but three pence in the corner of my shoe.
Rice ap Mer . Never a shoulder of mutton, Piper, in your tabor? — But soft! here comes company.
Enter L ONGSHANKS , D AVID , Farmer.
Farmer . Alas, gentlemen, if you love yourselves, do not venter through this mountain: here's such a coil with Robin Hood and his rabble, that every cross in my purse trembles for fear.
Longsh . Honest man, as I said to thee before, conduct us through this wood, and if thou beest robbed or have any violence offered thee, as I am a gentleman, I will repay it thee again.
Sir David . How much money hast thou about thee?
Farmer . Faith, sir, a hundred marks; I received it even now at Brecknock. But, out alas, we are undone! yonder is Robin Hood and all the strong thieves in the mountain. I have no hope left but your honour's assurance.
Longsh . Fear not; I will be my word's master.
Friar . Good master, and if you love the friar,
Give aim a while, I you desire,
And as you like of my device,
So love him that holds the dice.
Farmer . What, friar, art thou still labouring so hard?
Will you have anything more to Saint Francis?
Friar . Good Lord, are you here, sweet Saint Francis' receiver? How doth his holiness, and all his good family?
Farmer . In good health, faith, friar: hast thou any nobles for him?
Friar . You know the dice are not partial: and Saint Francis were ten saints, they will favour him no more than they would favour the devil, if he play at dice. In very truth, my friend, they have favoured the friar, and I have won a hundred marks of Saint Francis. Come, sir; I pray, sirrah, draw it over: I know, sirrah, he is a good man, and never deceives none.
Farmer . Draw it over! what meanest thou by that?
Friar . Why, in numeratis pecuniis legem pone ; pay me my winnings.
Farmer . What ass is this! should I pay thee thy winnings?
Friar . Why, art not thou, sirrah, Saint Francis' receiver?
Farmer . Indeed, I do receive for Saint Francis.
Friar . Then I'll make you pay for Saint Francis, that's flat.
Farmer . Help, help! I am robbed, I am robbed!
Longsh . Villain, you wrong the man: hands off!
Friar . Masters, I beseech you leave this brawling, and give me leave to speak. So it is, I went to dice with Saint Francis, and lost five nobles: by good fortune his cashier came by, and received it of me in ready cash. I, being very desirous to try my fortune further, played still; and as the dice, not being bound prentice to him or any man, favoured me, I drew a hand and won a hundred marks. Now I refer it to your judgments, whether the friar is to seek his winnings.
Longsh . Marry, friar, the farmer must and shall pay thee honestly ere he pass.
Farmer . Shall I, sir? Why, will you be content to pay half as you promised me?
Longsh . Ay, farmer, if you had been robbed of it; but if you be a gamester, I'll take no charge of you, I.
Farmer . Alas, I am undone!
Lluellen . So, Sir Friar, now you have gathered up your winnings, I pray you stand up and give the passengers their charge, that Robin Hood may receive his toll.
Friar . And shall, my lord. Our thrice-renowmed Lluellen, Prince of Wales and Robin Hood of the great mountain, doth will and command all passengers, at the sight of Richard, servant unto me Friar David ap Tuck, to lay down their weapons, and quietly to yield, for custom towards the maintenance of his highness' wars, the half of all such gold, silver, money, and money-worth, as the said passenger hath then about him; but if he conceal any part or parcel of the same, then shall he forfeit all that he possesseth at that present. And this sentence is irrevocable, confirmed by our lord Lluellen Prince of Wales and Robin Hood of the great mountain.
Lluellen . So vail your budgets to Robin of the mountain. — But what art thou that disdainest to pay this custom, as if thou scornest the greatness of the Prince of Wales?
Longsh . Faith, Robin, thou seemest to be a good fellow: there's my bag; half is mine, and half is thine. But let's to it, if thou darest, man for man, to try who shall have the whole.
Lluellen . Why, thou speakest as thou shouldst speak. — My masters, on pain of my displeasure, depart the place, and leave us two to ourselves. I must lop his longshanks, 'fore I'll ear to a pair of longshanks.
Longsh . They are fair marks, sir, and I must defend as I may. — Davy, be gone. — Hold here, my hearts: long-legs gives you this amongst you to spend blows one with another.
Sir David [aside]. Now Davy's days are almost come at end.
Mortimer [ aside ]. But, Mortimer, this sight is strange. Stay thou in some corner to see what will befall in this battle.
Longsh . Now, Robin of the Wood, alias Robin Hood, be it known to your worship by these presents, that the longshanks which you aim at have brought the King of England into these mountains to visit Lluellen, and to crack a blade with his man that supposeth himself Prince of Wales.
Lluellen . What, Sir King! welcome to Cambria. What, foolish Edward, darest thou endanger thyself to travel these mountains? Art thou so foolish-hardy as to combat with the Prince of Wales?
Longsh . What I dare, thou seest; what I can perform, thou shalt shortly know. I think thee a gentleman, and therefore hold no scorn to fight with thee.
Lluellen . No, Edward; I am as good a man as thyself.
Longsh . That shall I try.
Hallo, Edward! how are thy senses confounded! —
What, Davy, is it possible thou shouldst be false to England?
Sir David . Edward, I am true to Wales, and so have been friends since my birth, and that shall the King of England know to his cost.
Lluellen . What, potter, did not I charge you to be gone with your fellows?
Mortimer . No traitor, no potter I, but Mortimer, the Earl of March; whose coming to these woods is to deceive thee of thy love, and reserved to save my sovereign's life.
Sir David . Upon them, brother! let them not breathe.
Longsh . Villain, thou diest! God and my right have prevailed.
Sir David . Base earl! now doth David triumph in thine overthrow. — Ay is me! Lluellen at the feet of Longshanks!
Longsh . What, Mortimer under the sword of such a traitor!
Mortimer . Brave king, run thy sword up to the hilts into the blood of the rebel.
Longsh . O, Mortimer, thy life is dearer to me than millions of rebels.
Sir David . Edward, release my brother, and Mortimer lives.
Longsh . Ay, villain, thou knowest too well how dear I hold my Mortimer. [ To L LUELLEN .] Rise, man, and assure thee that the hate I bear to thee is love in respect of the deadly hatred I bear to that notorious rebel.
Mortimer . Away! his sight to me is like the sight of a cockatrice. — Villain, I go to revenge me on thy treason, and to make thee pattern to the world of monstrous treason, falsehood, and ingratitude.
Sir David . Brother, 'a chafes; but hard was your hap to be overmastered by the coward.
Lluellen . No coward, David: his courage is like to the lion, and were it not that rule and sovereignty set us at jar. I could love and honour the man for his valour.
Sir David . But the potter, — O, the villain will never out of my mind whilst I live! and I will lay to be revenged on his villany.
Lluellen . Well, David, what will be shall be; therefore casting these matters out of our heads, David, thou art welcome to Cambria. Let us in and be merry after this cold cooling, and to prepare to strengthen ourselves against the last threatenings.
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