Classic Poem

Lord help us! What strange foolish things are these men
One good clever woman is fairly worth ten!
For though the vain creatures will talk by the hour
Of Woman's submission & Man's sov'reign power,
Yet we know by experience that best of all rules
That the wisest of men have by us been made fools;
That how e're for a while they may bluster and storm,
They will all in the end to our wishes conform.
Do you doubt? Only watch all y r friends who are married
And see by whose will house-hold matters are carried
And you'll find in all ranks all conditions & stations
(At least amongst polished & civilized nations)
From the Dame who in wedlock ten years has been tried
To the Lass who has only ten months been a bride
That by open command or insidious direction
My lady has got the good man in subjection.
And though to all force to submit he refuses,
To oblige her he commonly does what she chuses.
" My Dear I'm going out." " Going out my Love! Where?"
" Only just for a walk as the evening is fair;"
Nay indeed you shall tell me, I must & will know;"
" Why I'm going to the club." " I declare you shant go,
" To the club with your cold! In such weather as this!
" I'm sure for this once you may very well miss;
" And you know the last meeting you made it so late
" There four tedious hours at home did I wait —
" Not at home till past ten, but if men can but roam,
" They ne'er mind what their families suffer at home.
" But you surely wo'nt go — " " Why if you Ma'aMrefuse
" Your permission, I suppose I must send an excuse."
" My permission! I see you have misunderstood —
" I refuse! I am sure I but spoke for your good.
" A wife's my aversion her husband who teazes —
" And I beg my dear Love will do just as he pleases"
" Nay my Dear if you really — I believe you are right,
" It is as you say a most terrible night."
" Then you will stay at home to night, wont you? say yes"
" Yes." " There I thought so, come give me a kiss,
" You ca'nt think dear good man how I love you for this."
Thus also, but Lord what a mad cap am I,
Who have tried into secrets forbidden to pry!
Who in hopes, perhaps vain, of our audience diverting
Have dared to peep behind the connubial curtain.
Yet believe me, though wildly I rattle to night,
I am yet, & with reason enough in a fright;
For though I've been able by various expedients,
To reduce a proud Turk to true Christian obedience;
Though the Mufti, The Vizier, the Aga I've spurned,
And an Empire's fixed laws by a laugh overturned,
Yet vain the endeavour my fears to repress,
When this solemn Divan I a suppliant address,
To beg they'll accept our acknowledgments hearty
For the honor they've done our theatrical party;
That they'll pass without censure our faults & omissions
And try to be pleased with our light exhibitions,
That they'll cheerfully take what was honestly meant,
Our failures forgive, & applaud our intent —