Fifth Part
FIFTH PART
ARGUMENT
Here beginneth the fifth part of the Filostrato, in which Cressida is given back. Troilus accompanieth her and returneth to Troy. He weepeth alone and in the company of Pandarus, by whose advice they go to spend some days with Sarpedon. He returneth to Troy, where every spot remindeth him of Cressida, and in order to assuage his sorrows he giveth utterance to them in song, awaiting until the tenth day shall pass. And in the first place Cressida is delivered to Diomede. Troilus accompanieth her to the outskirts of the city and after he hath left her, she is joyfully received by her father .
1.
That same day was Diomede there for the purpose of surrendering Antenor to the Trojans. Into his hands therefore Priam delivered Cressida, so full of sighs and tears and grief that it stirreth sorrow in him that seeth her. On the other hand was the lover, in such distress that none did ever see his like.
2.
True it is that with great effort he made wondrous concealment within his breast of the great strife he had with sighs and tears. And in his face little or no sign of it did yet appear, although he yearned to be alone, and in solitude to weep and vent his bitterness and relieve himself by giving full rein to his affliction.
3.
Ah, how many things came to his noble mind when he saw Cressida yielded to her father! Quivering in every limb with wrath and grief, he first chafed inwardly with very rage and said under his breath: " O miserable wretch that I am, what more do I wait for? Is it not better to die once and for all than ever in tears to live and languish?
4.
" Why do I not break up these pacts with arms? Why do I not slay Diomede on the spot? Why do I not put an end to the old man who hath made them? Why not hurl defiance at all my brothers? Would that they were all undone! Why do I not plunge Troy in lamentation and mournful wailing? Why at this moment do I not steal Cressida away and cure myself?
5.
" Who shall say me nay if I shall indeed wish to do so? Why not go to the Greeks and see if they will yield me Cressida? Alas, why do I delay longer? Why do I not quickly hasten thither and force them to surrender her to me? " But fear made him abandon a course so desperate and bold, lest Cressida should be slain in such a fray.
6.
When Cressida saw that she must, despite her grief, go with the company that was to depart, she mounted her horse and began angrily to say to herself: " Ah, cruel Jove and bitter fortune, whither do ye bear me against my will? Why doth my grief delight you so?
7.
" Ye in your cruelty and heartlessness take me away from the pleasure that was most dear to my heart. Perchance ye think yourselves humiliated by any sacrifice or honor from me. But ye are deceived. Ever shall I spend my days of grief in heaping upon you obloquy and dishonor, until I return and behold again the fair face of Troilus. "
8.
Then scornfully she turned to Diomede and thus she spake: " Now let us be gone. Long enough have we exposed ourselves to the gaze of this people, who may now expect solace for their woes, if they will carefully consider the honorable exchange which thou hast made in surrendering so great and dreaded a king for a mere woman. "
9.
And this said, she gave spurs to her horse, speaking no word save a farewell to her attendants. And well did the king and his barons take note of the lady's wrath. Forth she went nor would she listen to farewell or parting speech or cast a glance at anyone. Forth she went from Troy, whither she was never again to return or to be with Troilus.
10.
Troilus, as though to perform an act of courtesy, mounted his horse with many companions and with a hawk upon his fist did bear her company as far as the outer ring of the rampart, and gladly would he have done likewise all along the way even to her lodging, but it would have been too open and also thought of little sense.
11.
And Antenor, surrendered by the Greeks, had already come among them and with great festivity and honor had the young Trojans received him. And although this return was very grievous to Troilus' heart because of the surrender of Cressida, yet did he receive him with a good face, and made him ride before him with Pandarus.
12.
And when they were already on the point of taking leave, he and Cressida stopped for some moments, and gazed into each other's eyes, nor could the lady restrain her tears. And they then took one another by the right hand, and at that Troilus approached so near to her side that she could hear him as he spake low and said: " Come back again, cause me not to die. "
13.
And without more ado, having turned his steed, with his face all flushed, he spake no word to Diomede. And of such behavior Diomede alone took note. Well he seeth the love of the twain and with diverse reasons maketh proof of it in his mind. While he whispereth of it to himself, secretly is he smitten with her.
14.
Her father welcomed her with great joy, although such show of affection lay heavy upon her. She was silent and subdued, consuming herself with heavy sorrow, and in wretched case, her heart being still faithful to Troilus, although she was soon to change and to forsake him for a new lover.
15.
Troilus sad and distressed, as none was e'er before, turned back to Troy; and with a sullen and angry scowl upon his face, he tarried not until he reached his palace. Dismounting here, in mood much sadder than had e'er been his before, he suffered none to speak aught to him but entered his chamber in solitude.
16.
There he gave free vent to the grief that he had held in check, calling for death, and he bewailed his happiness which he thought he had lost, and so loudly did he cry that almost was he heard of those who were going about through the court. And in such weeping did he pass the whole day that neither servant nor friend saw him.
17.
If the day had passed in grief, the night, already dark, did not diminish it. But his lament and his great grief were redoubled, so did his misfortune gain the upper hand over him. He cursed the day upon which he was born and the gods and the goddesses and Dame Nature and his father and as many as had consented to the surrender of Cressida.
18.
He also cursed himself for having let her so depart and for not having carried out the decision that he had made, that is, to try to take flight with her. Bitterly did he repent of it, and he would willingly have died of grief because of it, or for not having at least asked for her, for perchance she might have been granted to him.
19.
And as he turned in his bed now here and now there, without finding any resting place, at such times would he in his weeping say to himself: " What a night is this! When I consider the past night, if I read the hour aright, such time as it now is did I kiss the white bosom, the mouth, the eyes, and the lovely face of my lady, and oft embrace her.
20.
" She would kiss me and we took a happy and gracious pleasure in conversing together. Now I find myself alone, alas, and weeping, in doubt whether so joyous a night is ever to come again. Now I keep embracing the pillow, and I feel the flame of love waxing greater, and hope becoming less on account of the grief that over-whelmeth it.
21.
" What then shall I do, miserable wretch that I am? Shall I wait if it so be that I can do so? But if my mind is so saddened by her departure, how shall I hope to be able to live on? To him who loveth well the power to rest is of no account, because in such wise did he the like the night and day that had passed before. "
22.
That day neither Pandarus nor any other had been able to come to him. Wherefore with the coming of day he at once had him summoned that he might be able somewhat to relieve his wretched heart by talking of Cressida. Pandarus came there and well could he divine what he had done that night and also what he desired.
23.
" O Pandarus mine, " quoth Troilus, hoarse with his cries and his long lament, " what shall I do? For the fire of love doth so enwrap me all within that neither much nor little may I rest. What shall I do in my woe, since Lady Fortune hath been so hostile to me that I have lost my sweet friend?
24.
" I do not believe that I shall ever again cast mine eyes upon her. Would therefore I had fallen dead, when yesterday I permitted her to depart. O sweet my love, O my dear delight, O lady fair, to whom I gave myself, O sweet my soul, O single solace of these sad eyes now turned to streams, alas, seest thou not I die, and givest thou not thine aid to me?
25.
" Who seeth thee now, fair sweet soul? Who sitteth with thee, heart of my body? Who listeneth to thee now, who holdeth speech with thee? Alas, not I, wretched beyond any other. Say, what doest thou? Hast thou now any thought of me in thy mind or hast thou forgotten me for thine aged father, who hath thee now, wherefore I live in so grievous pain?
26.
" As thou hearest me do now, Pandarus, so have I done all the night, nor hath this amorous woe let me sleep; or indeed, if any sleep hath found a place in my languishing, it availeth me naught, since when I sleep I do ever dream of flight or of being alone in fearsome places or in the hands of fierce enemies.
27.
" And so doth it vex me to see this, and such terror is in my heart that 'twere better for me to lie awake and grieve. And often there cometh upon me a trembling that shaketh and rouseth me and maketh it seem that I fall from a high place into the depths. And awakened I call loudly upon Love and upon Cressida, now praying for mercy and now for death.
28.
" To such a point as thou dost hear have I come in my misery and I grieve for myself and for that parting more than I could ever have believed. Alas that I confess I must still hope for help, and that the fair lady will yet come back with it. But the heart which loveth her, doth not allow me this and doth ever call on her. "
29.
After he had spoken and discoursed a long time in such wise, Pandarus, sorrowing for a grief so heavy and vexatious, spake thus: " Alas, tell me, Troilus, an this sadness is ever to have surcease and end, dost thou not believe that the blow of love hath ever been felt by others than by thee, or that others have been put to the necessity of parting?
30.
" Truly others there are as enamored as thou art — by Pallas I swear it. And of them there be also some, I make no doubt, more stricken in fortune than thou. Yet have they not completely abandoned themselves, as thou hast, to the fate of so hard a life, but their grief, when it becometh too great, they seek to alleviate with hope.
31.
" And thou shouldst do the like. Thou sayst that she hath given thee promises to return hither within the tenth day. This is not so long a tarrying that thou shouldst not be able to wait without putting on a long face and dawdling like a booby. How couldst thou suffer the torment if 'twere a question of a year's absence?
32.
" Drive away dreams and fears. Let them go into the winds that they are. They proceed from melancholy and cause thee to see what thou fearest. God alone knoweth the truth of what will be. Dreams and auguries, to which stupid people pay heed, amount to nothing nor have they little or much to do with the future.
33.
" So, then, in the name of the gods, have mercy upon thyself, leave off this so savage grief. Do me this favor, grant me this boon. Rise up, make thy thoughts light. Talk with me, if thou wilt, of the past but prepare thy noble soul for the future. For the past will come back again within a very short time. So take good comfort then in hoping.
34.
" This city is a great one and full of delights. Now, as thou knowest, there is a truce. Let us go hence to some pleasant place afar from here. There shalt thou be with some one of these kings and with him shalt thou beguile thy wearisome life, whilst thou passest the time set for thee by the fair lady who hath wounded thy heart.
35.
" Ah, do this, I pray thee, rise up. To grieve as thou dost, is no courageous act. The same is true of thy lying down. If thy stupid and contrarious behavior should be known outside, thou wouldst be put to shame, and men would say that thou, like a coward, hadst been weeping for the adverse time, not for love, or that thou hadst been making pretense of illness. "
36.
" Alas, he who loseth much, weepeth much, nor can he who hath not experienced it, know of what sort is that happiness which I let go. Wherefore I should not be blamed if ever I did naught but weep. But since thou, my friend, hast prayed me to do so, I will comfort myself to the best of my ability in order to serve thee and do thy pleasure.
37.
" May God soon send me the tenth day, so that I may again become as happy as I was when it was proposed to give her up. Never was rose in the sweet spring as fair as I am minded to become when I shall see again in Troy the fresh countenance of that lady who is the cause of all my torment and woe.
38.
" But where can we go for pastime, as thou dost suggest? Suppose we go to Sarpedon. How can I stay there, for I shall ever have anxiety in my soul lest she perchance return in vain before the day appointed. For I would not, if this should happen, be away for all the good things that life may buy or command. "
39.
" Ah, I shall see to it that someone, if she returneth, come for me without delay, " replied Pandarus, " and I shall station one here for this sole purpose, so that it may be well known by us, since now indeed there is none perchance by whom it would be desired as by myself. So do not give up for this reason. Let us go where thou even now hast proposed to me. "
40.
The two companions started forth upon the road, and after about four miles they reached the place where Sarpedon was. He, when he knew it, advanced joyfully to meet Troilus, and glad he was to do so. They, although weary from much sighing, joyfully made great festivity with the powerful baron.
41.
He, as one who was in all things more noble-hearted than any other, did marvelous honor to each, now with hunts and now with the gracious welcome of fair and very worthy ladies, with song and music, and always with grandeur of banquets of such number and sort that their like had never been held at Troy.
42.
But what availed all these things to the faithful Troilus who had no heart for them? He was in that place whither the love formed in his thoughts did often draw him, and Cressida as his god he did ever see with the eyes of his mind, imagining now one thing and now another, sighing for her and often for love.
43.
However worthy and fair she might be, every other lady was tiresome in his sight. All diversions, every sweet song, were vexatious to him, since he saw not her in whose hands love had placed the key to his piteous life. He was happy only as he thought of her, forgetting every other matter.
44.
And there passed not evening nor morning that he did not cry out with sighs: " O lovely light, O morning star. " Then as if she were present and listening, a thousand times he called her " thorn rose " in the hope of a salutation. But he always had to leave off in the middle; his salutations ended in sighs.
45.
No hour in the day passed by that he did not call her by name a thousand times; her name was ever upon his lips, and her fair countenance and graceful speech he pictured in his heart and mind. The letters sent to him by her he turned over a full hundred times a day, so did it please him to see them again.
46.
They had not tarried there three days when Troilus began to say to Pandarus: " What do we here any longer? Are we in duty bound to live and die here? Are we waiting to be sent on our way? To tell thee true, I would fain go hence. Let us go away in the name of the gods; we have been long enough with Sarpedon, who hath granted us willing hospitality. "
47.
Then quoth Pandarus: " Look you now, have we come hither to escape the hot pangs of love or hath the tenth day arrived? O restrain thyself but a little longer, for our going home would seem a slight. Whither now shalt thou go and to what place wherein thou mayest make a happier sojourn? Let us stay two days longer. Then shall we depart, and if thou dost wish it, homeward wend. "
48.
Although against his will Troilus tarried, yet did he remain in his usual train of thought. Nor did Pandarus' words avail aught. But after the fifth day, having taken their leave, though to the displeasure of Sarpedon, they returned to their own homes, Troilus saying along the way: " O God, shall I find my love returned? "
49.
But Pandarus, as one who fully knew the whole in tent of Calchas, spake otherwise with him. " This wish of thine, so fierce and fiery, may be cooled, if I be not deceived by what I heard even when she was here. I believe that the tenth day and the month and the year will pass before thou dost see her again. "
50.
When they were returned home, both went into a chamber and when they had found a place to sit, much they talked of Cressida without Troilus' giving any respite to his hot sighs. But after a little while Troilus said: " Let us go and see the house at least, since else we cannot do. "
51.
And having said this, he took Pandarus by the hand. And his face wore something of a deceptive smile. He descended from the palace and to the others that were with him made various pretexts to conceal the assaults of love he felt. But when his eyes fell upon the closed house of Cressida, he experienced a new agitation.
52.
And it seemed to him that his heart would break when he beheld the locked door and the windows. So distracted was he by the newborn passion that he knew not whether he stood or walked. And his changed countenance would have given manifest tokens of it to anyone who had bestowed upon him even a casual glance.
53.
Grieving thus on account of his new anguish, he did his best to talk with Pandarus. Then he said: " Alas, how full of brightness and delight wert thou, O place, when that beautiful lady was in thee, for she bore my peace entirely within her eyes! Now without her art thou left dark nor do I know whether thou art ever to have her again. "
54.
Then he went forth riding through Troy. And every place recalled her to his mind. Of these places he continued to hold discourse with himself as he rode on. " There I saw her laugh happily; there I saw her cast her glance upon me; there she graciously saluted me; there I saw her rejoice and there turn thoughtful; there I saw her pitiful of my sighs.
55.
" There she was when with her fair and beautiful eyes she made me a captive with love; there she was when she enkindled my heart with a sigh of greater warmth; there she was when her ladylike worthiness condescended to my pleasure; there I saw her haughty, and there humble did my gentle lady show herself to me. "
56.
Then as he thought of that, he went on to add: " Long hast thou made me a byword on the lips of men, O Love, if I do not wish to continue this self-deception, and memory well repeateth the truth to me. Wherever I go or stay, if I understand aright, I discern a full thousand signs of thy victory, which thou hast won in triumph over me, who once did mock at every lover.
57.
" Well hast thou avenged the insult put upon thee, powerful and very redoubtable lord. But since my soul hath devoted itself entirely to thy service, as thou mayest clearly see, let it not die disconsolate, restore it to its first pleasure; constrain Cressida as thou dost me, so that she may return to put an end to my woes. "
58.
At times he went forth even to the city gate through which his lady had departed. " Hence issued she who comforted me, hence went forth my sweet life; and even to that place did I give her escort, and there did I make my parting from her, and there, alas, did I touch her hand. " All these things he said to himself, bursting into tears at once.
59.
" Hence thou didst depart, heart of my body. When shall it be that thou wilt return thence, dear joy of mine and sweet my love? Surely I do not know but these ten days will be more than a thousand years. Ah, shall I ever see thee return to delight me with thy comely ways, even as thou hast promised? Ah, will it ever be? Ah, would it were even now! "
60.
And it seemed to him that there was less than the usual color in his face, and for this reason he fancied that he was at times pointed at, as if men were saying: " Why hath Troilus become so submissive and so bemused? " There was none that pointed at him, but he who knoweth the truth is suspicious.
61.
Wherefore it pleased him to show in verses who was its cause. And sighing when aweary of grieving, giving some respite, as it were, to his sorrow — while he waited in luckless days — he went his way with a low-voiced song upon his lips, diverting his soul overborne with excess of love in such wise as this:
62.
" The sweet sight and the fair soft glance of the loveliest eyes that e'er were seen, which I have lost, make my life seem so wearisome that I go about heaving groans of woe. And so far have they led me that instead of the light, joyous sighs that I used to fetch, I yearn for death on account of thy going, so deeply doth it pain me.
63.
" Alas, Love, why at the first step didst thou not wound me so grievously that I should have died? Why, alas, didst thou not separate from me the anguished spirit I bear, since from being aloft I now see myself brought low? There is no comfort, Love, to my griefs save only death, when I find myself parted from those fair eyes in which I have once seen thee.
64.
" When for the gentle act of salutation I turn mine eyes somewhat toward some fair lady, all my strength is so dissipated that I cannot check within me my lamenting. Thus do the amorous wounds remind me of my lady, from whose sight I am now so far, O woe is me, that if Love should wish it, I fain would die.
65.
" Since my fortune is so cruel that all that meeteth mine eyes saddeneth me the more, in the name of the gods, O Love, let thy hand close them, since I have lost the amorous sight. Leave, O Love, my naked flesh, for when life is acquired by death, dying should be joyous; and thou knowest well where the soul must go.
66.
" It will go to those fair arms into which fortune hath already cast the body. Dost thou not see, O Love, that I am already marked in the face with its own color? See then the anguish that the pursuit giveth me, draw it forth, and bear it to the bosom most beloved by it, where it awaiteth peace, for every other thing displeaseth it. "
67.
When he had uttered these words in his song, he turned again to his former sighing. As he went about by day, and as by night he lay in bed, he did ever think upon his Cressida, nor took he pleasure in scarce any other thing. And often did he number o'er the days gone past, never believing that he would reach the tenth, when Cressida should return to him from the Greeks.
68.
Beyond the usual fashion the days seemed to him long and the nights longer. He measured from the first white gleam of dawn until the moment when the stars appeared. Thus would he say: " The sun hath entered upon new errors nor do his horses run as once they did. " Of the night he would say the like: " one o'clock, " " two o'clock, " he'd repeat them all.
69.
The old moon was already horned at the going of Cressida, and he had seen it early in the morning when he departed from her house. Wherefore he often said to himself: " When it shall have become with its new horns just as it appeared when our lady went away, then will my soul have returned here. "
70.
He gazed at the Greeks in their tents before Troy. And as formerly he was wont to be disturbed when he saw them, so now were they looked upon with pleasure. And that breeze which he felt blowing in his face, he was often wont to believe sighs wafted from Cressida. And as often would he say: " Either here or there is my gracious lady. "
71.
In such wise and in many another fashion he passed the time away in sighs. And with him was ever Pandarus, who often comforted him in his lamenting. And in so far as he might, he endeavored to draw him into gay and gladsome talk, ever giving him good hope of his fair and worthy love.
ARGUMENT
Here beginneth the fifth part of the Filostrato, in which Cressida is given back. Troilus accompanieth her and returneth to Troy. He weepeth alone and in the company of Pandarus, by whose advice they go to spend some days with Sarpedon. He returneth to Troy, where every spot remindeth him of Cressida, and in order to assuage his sorrows he giveth utterance to them in song, awaiting until the tenth day shall pass. And in the first place Cressida is delivered to Diomede. Troilus accompanieth her to the outskirts of the city and after he hath left her, she is joyfully received by her father .
1.
That same day was Diomede there for the purpose of surrendering Antenor to the Trojans. Into his hands therefore Priam delivered Cressida, so full of sighs and tears and grief that it stirreth sorrow in him that seeth her. On the other hand was the lover, in such distress that none did ever see his like.
2.
True it is that with great effort he made wondrous concealment within his breast of the great strife he had with sighs and tears. And in his face little or no sign of it did yet appear, although he yearned to be alone, and in solitude to weep and vent his bitterness and relieve himself by giving full rein to his affliction.
3.
Ah, how many things came to his noble mind when he saw Cressida yielded to her father! Quivering in every limb with wrath and grief, he first chafed inwardly with very rage and said under his breath: " O miserable wretch that I am, what more do I wait for? Is it not better to die once and for all than ever in tears to live and languish?
4.
" Why do I not break up these pacts with arms? Why do I not slay Diomede on the spot? Why do I not put an end to the old man who hath made them? Why not hurl defiance at all my brothers? Would that they were all undone! Why do I not plunge Troy in lamentation and mournful wailing? Why at this moment do I not steal Cressida away and cure myself?
5.
" Who shall say me nay if I shall indeed wish to do so? Why not go to the Greeks and see if they will yield me Cressida? Alas, why do I delay longer? Why do I not quickly hasten thither and force them to surrender her to me? " But fear made him abandon a course so desperate and bold, lest Cressida should be slain in such a fray.
6.
When Cressida saw that she must, despite her grief, go with the company that was to depart, she mounted her horse and began angrily to say to herself: " Ah, cruel Jove and bitter fortune, whither do ye bear me against my will? Why doth my grief delight you so?
7.
" Ye in your cruelty and heartlessness take me away from the pleasure that was most dear to my heart. Perchance ye think yourselves humiliated by any sacrifice or honor from me. But ye are deceived. Ever shall I spend my days of grief in heaping upon you obloquy and dishonor, until I return and behold again the fair face of Troilus. "
8.
Then scornfully she turned to Diomede and thus she spake: " Now let us be gone. Long enough have we exposed ourselves to the gaze of this people, who may now expect solace for their woes, if they will carefully consider the honorable exchange which thou hast made in surrendering so great and dreaded a king for a mere woman. "
9.
And this said, she gave spurs to her horse, speaking no word save a farewell to her attendants. And well did the king and his barons take note of the lady's wrath. Forth she went nor would she listen to farewell or parting speech or cast a glance at anyone. Forth she went from Troy, whither she was never again to return or to be with Troilus.
10.
Troilus, as though to perform an act of courtesy, mounted his horse with many companions and with a hawk upon his fist did bear her company as far as the outer ring of the rampart, and gladly would he have done likewise all along the way even to her lodging, but it would have been too open and also thought of little sense.
11.
And Antenor, surrendered by the Greeks, had already come among them and with great festivity and honor had the young Trojans received him. And although this return was very grievous to Troilus' heart because of the surrender of Cressida, yet did he receive him with a good face, and made him ride before him with Pandarus.
12.
And when they were already on the point of taking leave, he and Cressida stopped for some moments, and gazed into each other's eyes, nor could the lady restrain her tears. And they then took one another by the right hand, and at that Troilus approached so near to her side that she could hear him as he spake low and said: " Come back again, cause me not to die. "
13.
And without more ado, having turned his steed, with his face all flushed, he spake no word to Diomede. And of such behavior Diomede alone took note. Well he seeth the love of the twain and with diverse reasons maketh proof of it in his mind. While he whispereth of it to himself, secretly is he smitten with her.
14.
Her father welcomed her with great joy, although such show of affection lay heavy upon her. She was silent and subdued, consuming herself with heavy sorrow, and in wretched case, her heart being still faithful to Troilus, although she was soon to change and to forsake him for a new lover.
15.
Troilus sad and distressed, as none was e'er before, turned back to Troy; and with a sullen and angry scowl upon his face, he tarried not until he reached his palace. Dismounting here, in mood much sadder than had e'er been his before, he suffered none to speak aught to him but entered his chamber in solitude.
16.
There he gave free vent to the grief that he had held in check, calling for death, and he bewailed his happiness which he thought he had lost, and so loudly did he cry that almost was he heard of those who were going about through the court. And in such weeping did he pass the whole day that neither servant nor friend saw him.
17.
If the day had passed in grief, the night, already dark, did not diminish it. But his lament and his great grief were redoubled, so did his misfortune gain the upper hand over him. He cursed the day upon which he was born and the gods and the goddesses and Dame Nature and his father and as many as had consented to the surrender of Cressida.
18.
He also cursed himself for having let her so depart and for not having carried out the decision that he had made, that is, to try to take flight with her. Bitterly did he repent of it, and he would willingly have died of grief because of it, or for not having at least asked for her, for perchance she might have been granted to him.
19.
And as he turned in his bed now here and now there, without finding any resting place, at such times would he in his weeping say to himself: " What a night is this! When I consider the past night, if I read the hour aright, such time as it now is did I kiss the white bosom, the mouth, the eyes, and the lovely face of my lady, and oft embrace her.
20.
" She would kiss me and we took a happy and gracious pleasure in conversing together. Now I find myself alone, alas, and weeping, in doubt whether so joyous a night is ever to come again. Now I keep embracing the pillow, and I feel the flame of love waxing greater, and hope becoming less on account of the grief that over-whelmeth it.
21.
" What then shall I do, miserable wretch that I am? Shall I wait if it so be that I can do so? But if my mind is so saddened by her departure, how shall I hope to be able to live on? To him who loveth well the power to rest is of no account, because in such wise did he the like the night and day that had passed before. "
22.
That day neither Pandarus nor any other had been able to come to him. Wherefore with the coming of day he at once had him summoned that he might be able somewhat to relieve his wretched heart by talking of Cressida. Pandarus came there and well could he divine what he had done that night and also what he desired.
23.
" O Pandarus mine, " quoth Troilus, hoarse with his cries and his long lament, " what shall I do? For the fire of love doth so enwrap me all within that neither much nor little may I rest. What shall I do in my woe, since Lady Fortune hath been so hostile to me that I have lost my sweet friend?
24.
" I do not believe that I shall ever again cast mine eyes upon her. Would therefore I had fallen dead, when yesterday I permitted her to depart. O sweet my love, O my dear delight, O lady fair, to whom I gave myself, O sweet my soul, O single solace of these sad eyes now turned to streams, alas, seest thou not I die, and givest thou not thine aid to me?
25.
" Who seeth thee now, fair sweet soul? Who sitteth with thee, heart of my body? Who listeneth to thee now, who holdeth speech with thee? Alas, not I, wretched beyond any other. Say, what doest thou? Hast thou now any thought of me in thy mind or hast thou forgotten me for thine aged father, who hath thee now, wherefore I live in so grievous pain?
26.
" As thou hearest me do now, Pandarus, so have I done all the night, nor hath this amorous woe let me sleep; or indeed, if any sleep hath found a place in my languishing, it availeth me naught, since when I sleep I do ever dream of flight or of being alone in fearsome places or in the hands of fierce enemies.
27.
" And so doth it vex me to see this, and such terror is in my heart that 'twere better for me to lie awake and grieve. And often there cometh upon me a trembling that shaketh and rouseth me and maketh it seem that I fall from a high place into the depths. And awakened I call loudly upon Love and upon Cressida, now praying for mercy and now for death.
28.
" To such a point as thou dost hear have I come in my misery and I grieve for myself and for that parting more than I could ever have believed. Alas that I confess I must still hope for help, and that the fair lady will yet come back with it. But the heart which loveth her, doth not allow me this and doth ever call on her. "
29.
After he had spoken and discoursed a long time in such wise, Pandarus, sorrowing for a grief so heavy and vexatious, spake thus: " Alas, tell me, Troilus, an this sadness is ever to have surcease and end, dost thou not believe that the blow of love hath ever been felt by others than by thee, or that others have been put to the necessity of parting?
30.
" Truly others there are as enamored as thou art — by Pallas I swear it. And of them there be also some, I make no doubt, more stricken in fortune than thou. Yet have they not completely abandoned themselves, as thou hast, to the fate of so hard a life, but their grief, when it becometh too great, they seek to alleviate with hope.
31.
" And thou shouldst do the like. Thou sayst that she hath given thee promises to return hither within the tenth day. This is not so long a tarrying that thou shouldst not be able to wait without putting on a long face and dawdling like a booby. How couldst thou suffer the torment if 'twere a question of a year's absence?
32.
" Drive away dreams and fears. Let them go into the winds that they are. They proceed from melancholy and cause thee to see what thou fearest. God alone knoweth the truth of what will be. Dreams and auguries, to which stupid people pay heed, amount to nothing nor have they little or much to do with the future.
33.
" So, then, in the name of the gods, have mercy upon thyself, leave off this so savage grief. Do me this favor, grant me this boon. Rise up, make thy thoughts light. Talk with me, if thou wilt, of the past but prepare thy noble soul for the future. For the past will come back again within a very short time. So take good comfort then in hoping.
34.
" This city is a great one and full of delights. Now, as thou knowest, there is a truce. Let us go hence to some pleasant place afar from here. There shalt thou be with some one of these kings and with him shalt thou beguile thy wearisome life, whilst thou passest the time set for thee by the fair lady who hath wounded thy heart.
35.
" Ah, do this, I pray thee, rise up. To grieve as thou dost, is no courageous act. The same is true of thy lying down. If thy stupid and contrarious behavior should be known outside, thou wouldst be put to shame, and men would say that thou, like a coward, hadst been weeping for the adverse time, not for love, or that thou hadst been making pretense of illness. "
36.
" Alas, he who loseth much, weepeth much, nor can he who hath not experienced it, know of what sort is that happiness which I let go. Wherefore I should not be blamed if ever I did naught but weep. But since thou, my friend, hast prayed me to do so, I will comfort myself to the best of my ability in order to serve thee and do thy pleasure.
37.
" May God soon send me the tenth day, so that I may again become as happy as I was when it was proposed to give her up. Never was rose in the sweet spring as fair as I am minded to become when I shall see again in Troy the fresh countenance of that lady who is the cause of all my torment and woe.
38.
" But where can we go for pastime, as thou dost suggest? Suppose we go to Sarpedon. How can I stay there, for I shall ever have anxiety in my soul lest she perchance return in vain before the day appointed. For I would not, if this should happen, be away for all the good things that life may buy or command. "
39.
" Ah, I shall see to it that someone, if she returneth, come for me without delay, " replied Pandarus, " and I shall station one here for this sole purpose, so that it may be well known by us, since now indeed there is none perchance by whom it would be desired as by myself. So do not give up for this reason. Let us go where thou even now hast proposed to me. "
40.
The two companions started forth upon the road, and after about four miles they reached the place where Sarpedon was. He, when he knew it, advanced joyfully to meet Troilus, and glad he was to do so. They, although weary from much sighing, joyfully made great festivity with the powerful baron.
41.
He, as one who was in all things more noble-hearted than any other, did marvelous honor to each, now with hunts and now with the gracious welcome of fair and very worthy ladies, with song and music, and always with grandeur of banquets of such number and sort that their like had never been held at Troy.
42.
But what availed all these things to the faithful Troilus who had no heart for them? He was in that place whither the love formed in his thoughts did often draw him, and Cressida as his god he did ever see with the eyes of his mind, imagining now one thing and now another, sighing for her and often for love.
43.
However worthy and fair she might be, every other lady was tiresome in his sight. All diversions, every sweet song, were vexatious to him, since he saw not her in whose hands love had placed the key to his piteous life. He was happy only as he thought of her, forgetting every other matter.
44.
And there passed not evening nor morning that he did not cry out with sighs: " O lovely light, O morning star. " Then as if she were present and listening, a thousand times he called her " thorn rose " in the hope of a salutation. But he always had to leave off in the middle; his salutations ended in sighs.
45.
No hour in the day passed by that he did not call her by name a thousand times; her name was ever upon his lips, and her fair countenance and graceful speech he pictured in his heart and mind. The letters sent to him by her he turned over a full hundred times a day, so did it please him to see them again.
46.
They had not tarried there three days when Troilus began to say to Pandarus: " What do we here any longer? Are we in duty bound to live and die here? Are we waiting to be sent on our way? To tell thee true, I would fain go hence. Let us go away in the name of the gods; we have been long enough with Sarpedon, who hath granted us willing hospitality. "
47.
Then quoth Pandarus: " Look you now, have we come hither to escape the hot pangs of love or hath the tenth day arrived? O restrain thyself but a little longer, for our going home would seem a slight. Whither now shalt thou go and to what place wherein thou mayest make a happier sojourn? Let us stay two days longer. Then shall we depart, and if thou dost wish it, homeward wend. "
48.
Although against his will Troilus tarried, yet did he remain in his usual train of thought. Nor did Pandarus' words avail aught. But after the fifth day, having taken their leave, though to the displeasure of Sarpedon, they returned to their own homes, Troilus saying along the way: " O God, shall I find my love returned? "
49.
But Pandarus, as one who fully knew the whole in tent of Calchas, spake otherwise with him. " This wish of thine, so fierce and fiery, may be cooled, if I be not deceived by what I heard even when she was here. I believe that the tenth day and the month and the year will pass before thou dost see her again. "
50.
When they were returned home, both went into a chamber and when they had found a place to sit, much they talked of Cressida without Troilus' giving any respite to his hot sighs. But after a little while Troilus said: " Let us go and see the house at least, since else we cannot do. "
51.
And having said this, he took Pandarus by the hand. And his face wore something of a deceptive smile. He descended from the palace and to the others that were with him made various pretexts to conceal the assaults of love he felt. But when his eyes fell upon the closed house of Cressida, he experienced a new agitation.
52.
And it seemed to him that his heart would break when he beheld the locked door and the windows. So distracted was he by the newborn passion that he knew not whether he stood or walked. And his changed countenance would have given manifest tokens of it to anyone who had bestowed upon him even a casual glance.
53.
Grieving thus on account of his new anguish, he did his best to talk with Pandarus. Then he said: " Alas, how full of brightness and delight wert thou, O place, when that beautiful lady was in thee, for she bore my peace entirely within her eyes! Now without her art thou left dark nor do I know whether thou art ever to have her again. "
54.
Then he went forth riding through Troy. And every place recalled her to his mind. Of these places he continued to hold discourse with himself as he rode on. " There I saw her laugh happily; there I saw her cast her glance upon me; there she graciously saluted me; there I saw her rejoice and there turn thoughtful; there I saw her pitiful of my sighs.
55.
" There she was when with her fair and beautiful eyes she made me a captive with love; there she was when she enkindled my heart with a sigh of greater warmth; there she was when her ladylike worthiness condescended to my pleasure; there I saw her haughty, and there humble did my gentle lady show herself to me. "
56.
Then as he thought of that, he went on to add: " Long hast thou made me a byword on the lips of men, O Love, if I do not wish to continue this self-deception, and memory well repeateth the truth to me. Wherever I go or stay, if I understand aright, I discern a full thousand signs of thy victory, which thou hast won in triumph over me, who once did mock at every lover.
57.
" Well hast thou avenged the insult put upon thee, powerful and very redoubtable lord. But since my soul hath devoted itself entirely to thy service, as thou mayest clearly see, let it not die disconsolate, restore it to its first pleasure; constrain Cressida as thou dost me, so that she may return to put an end to my woes. "
58.
At times he went forth even to the city gate through which his lady had departed. " Hence issued she who comforted me, hence went forth my sweet life; and even to that place did I give her escort, and there did I make my parting from her, and there, alas, did I touch her hand. " All these things he said to himself, bursting into tears at once.
59.
" Hence thou didst depart, heart of my body. When shall it be that thou wilt return thence, dear joy of mine and sweet my love? Surely I do not know but these ten days will be more than a thousand years. Ah, shall I ever see thee return to delight me with thy comely ways, even as thou hast promised? Ah, will it ever be? Ah, would it were even now! "
60.
And it seemed to him that there was less than the usual color in his face, and for this reason he fancied that he was at times pointed at, as if men were saying: " Why hath Troilus become so submissive and so bemused? " There was none that pointed at him, but he who knoweth the truth is suspicious.
61.
Wherefore it pleased him to show in verses who was its cause. And sighing when aweary of grieving, giving some respite, as it were, to his sorrow — while he waited in luckless days — he went his way with a low-voiced song upon his lips, diverting his soul overborne with excess of love in such wise as this:
62.
" The sweet sight and the fair soft glance of the loveliest eyes that e'er were seen, which I have lost, make my life seem so wearisome that I go about heaving groans of woe. And so far have they led me that instead of the light, joyous sighs that I used to fetch, I yearn for death on account of thy going, so deeply doth it pain me.
63.
" Alas, Love, why at the first step didst thou not wound me so grievously that I should have died? Why, alas, didst thou not separate from me the anguished spirit I bear, since from being aloft I now see myself brought low? There is no comfort, Love, to my griefs save only death, when I find myself parted from those fair eyes in which I have once seen thee.
64.
" When for the gentle act of salutation I turn mine eyes somewhat toward some fair lady, all my strength is so dissipated that I cannot check within me my lamenting. Thus do the amorous wounds remind me of my lady, from whose sight I am now so far, O woe is me, that if Love should wish it, I fain would die.
65.
" Since my fortune is so cruel that all that meeteth mine eyes saddeneth me the more, in the name of the gods, O Love, let thy hand close them, since I have lost the amorous sight. Leave, O Love, my naked flesh, for when life is acquired by death, dying should be joyous; and thou knowest well where the soul must go.
66.
" It will go to those fair arms into which fortune hath already cast the body. Dost thou not see, O Love, that I am already marked in the face with its own color? See then the anguish that the pursuit giveth me, draw it forth, and bear it to the bosom most beloved by it, where it awaiteth peace, for every other thing displeaseth it. "
67.
When he had uttered these words in his song, he turned again to his former sighing. As he went about by day, and as by night he lay in bed, he did ever think upon his Cressida, nor took he pleasure in scarce any other thing. And often did he number o'er the days gone past, never believing that he would reach the tenth, when Cressida should return to him from the Greeks.
68.
Beyond the usual fashion the days seemed to him long and the nights longer. He measured from the first white gleam of dawn until the moment when the stars appeared. Thus would he say: " The sun hath entered upon new errors nor do his horses run as once they did. " Of the night he would say the like: " one o'clock, " " two o'clock, " he'd repeat them all.
69.
The old moon was already horned at the going of Cressida, and he had seen it early in the morning when he departed from her house. Wherefore he often said to himself: " When it shall have become with its new horns just as it appeared when our lady went away, then will my soul have returned here. "
70.
He gazed at the Greeks in their tents before Troy. And as formerly he was wont to be disturbed when he saw them, so now were they looked upon with pleasure. And that breeze which he felt blowing in his face, he was often wont to believe sighs wafted from Cressida. And as often would he say: " Either here or there is my gracious lady. "
71.
In such wise and in many another fashion he passed the time away in sighs. And with him was ever Pandarus, who often comforted him in his lamenting. And in so far as he might, he endeavored to draw him into gay and gladsome talk, ever giving him good hope of his fair and worthy love.
Translation:
Language:
Reviews
No reviews yet.