Classic Poem

To the Tune of The Ladies fall ; Or Gather your Rose Buds , and 50 other Tunes.

I.

All Christians and Lay-Elders too,
For shame amend your Lives,
I'll tell you of a Dog-trick now,
Which much concerns your wives.
An Elder's Maid near Temple-bar
(Ah what a Quean was she!)
Did take an ugly Mastiff Cur
Where Christians use to be.
Help House of Commons, House of Peers!
Oh now or never help!
Th' Assembly having sate four years
Have now brought forth a whelp!

2.

One Evening late she stept aside,
Pretending to fetch Eggs,
And there she made her self a Bride
To one that had four leggs:
Her Master hears a Rumblement,
And wonder'd she did tarry,
Not dreaming (without his consent)
His Dog would ever marry.
Help House of Commons , &c.

3.

He went to peep, but was afraid,
And hastily did run
To fetch a Staff to help his Maid,
Not knowing what was done;
He took his Ruling Elder's Cane,
And cry'd out, Help, help here!
For Swash our Mastiff and poor Jane
Are now, fight Dog, fight Bear .
Oh House of Commons , &c.

4.

But when he came he was full sorry,
For he perceiv'd their strife,
That according to the Directory
These two were Dog and Wife:
Ah (then he said) thou cruel Quean,
Why hast thou me beguil'd?
I wonder'd Swash was grown so lean,
Poor Dog he's almost spoyl'd.
Oh House of Commons , &c.

5.

I thought thou hadst no carnal sense
But what's in other Lasses,
And could have quench'd thy Cupiscence
According to the Classis;
But all the Parish see it plain,
Since thou art in this pickle,
Thou art an Independent Quean,
And lov'st a Conventicle .
Oh House of Commons , &c.

6.

Alas now each Malignant Rogue
Will all the world perswade
That she that's Spouse unto a Dog,
May be an Elder's Maid;
They'll jeer us if abroad we stir,
Good Master Elder stay,
Sir, of what Classis is your Cur;
And then what can we say?
Oh House of Commons , &c.

7.

They'll many graceless Ballads sing
Of a Presbyterian ,
That a Lay-Elder is a thing
Made up half-Dog half-Man:
Out, out, (said he, and smote her down)
Was Mankind grown so scant?
There's scarce another Dog in town
Had took the Covenant .
Oh House of Commons , &c.

8.

Then Swash began to look full grim,
And Jane did thus reply,
Sir, you thought nought too good for him,
And fed your Dog too high:
Tis true, he took me in the lurch,
And leapt into my arm,
But (as I hope to come to Church)
I did your Dog no harm.
Oh House of Commons , &c.

9.

Then she was brought to Newgate Gaol,
And there was naked stript,
They whipt her till the Cord did fail,
As Dogs use to be whipt:
Poor City Maids shed many a tear
When she was lash'd and bang'd,
And had she been a Cavalier ,
Surely she had been hang'd.
Oh House of Commons , &c.

10.

Her's was but Fornication found,
For which she felt the lash,
But his was Buggery presum'd,
Therefore they hanged Swash .
What will become of Bishops then,
Or Independency ,
For now we find both Dogs and Men
Stand for Presbytery .
Oh House of Commons , &c.

11.

She might have took a Sow-gelder ,
With Synod-men good store,
But she would have a Lay-Elder
With two legs, and two more.
Go tell the Assembly of Divines ,
Tell Adoniram Blew ,
Tell Burges, Marshall, Case , and Vines ,
Tell Now-and-Anon-too .
Oh House of Commons , &c.

12.

Some said she was a Scotish Girl,
Or else (at least) a Witch;
But she was born in Colchester ,
Was ever such a Bitch!
Take heed all Christian Virgins now,
The Dog-star now prevails;
Ladies beware your Monkeys too,
For Monkeys have long tails.
Oh House of Commons , &c.

13.

Bless King and Queen , and send us peace,
As we had seven years since,
For we remember no Dog-dayes
While we enjoy'd our Prince:
Bless sweet Prince Charles , two Dukes, three Girls,
O save His Majesty!
Grant that his Commons, Lords , and Earls ,
May lead such lives as He.
Oh House of Commons, House of Peers!
Oh now or never help!
Th' Assembly having sate four years,
Have now brought forth a whelp!