Classic Poem

" ONE sees some marriages in which the man
Thinks it the part of wisdom to chastise
And beat his wife, to make her live in fear,
Saying that she is silly or a fool,
Staying too late at dances, meeting men.
True love cannot for long endure when such
Reciprocal annoyances exist
And men treat their own wives like property,
Accusing them: " Your levity's too great;
You act too foolish. When I go to work,
You dance and frolic, and you play such games
And sing such siren songs you seem debauched.
God give you a bad week in recompense!
When I must go to Frisia or to Rome
To carry on my business, you become
At once so impudent — I know it well,
For there's somebody who keeps track of you —
That gossip of it runs throughout the town.
Then when folks ask you why you dress so well
Where'er you go, you answer mockingly,
" Aha! Oho! 'Tis for my husband's sake. "
For me! Alas! I'm wretched, weary, sad!
Who knows my labor at the forge or loom,
Or if I live or die? No wonder 'twere
If men with mutton bladder banged my face.
When I've not punished you enough, you think
That I'm not worth a button, and you brag
That this is so. Small honor 'tis to me,
For everybody knows your boasts are lies,
For me? Alas! For me? What irony!
I've cramped my hand into an evil glove.
Most cruelly did I deceive myself
When at our wedding I believed your vows.
Is it for me that you amuse yourself?
Is it for me you lead so gay a life?
Whom do you think that you're deceiving now?
I never thought to see such dressing up
As that with which you waken the desires
Of ribald lechers (who the harlots chase)
When they accompany you on the streets
And spy and ogle your bold-faced display.
Whose chestnuts am I pulling from the fire?
Who could deceive me more than you deceive?
I'm only your protection from the rain,
Which you hug close when you have need of it.
Beneath this wimple and this cloak you seem
As turtledove or pigeon innocent.
You care not whether it is long or short
When it's but I who's wrapped in it with you.
No matter how good-natured I may be,
But for my shame, for four cents I would beat
You well, and see if I could mar your pride.
You know that I'm displeased to see in you
Signs of flirtatiousness at dance or ball
When you are dancing with another man.
Besides, I can't conceal my jealousy
Of what's between you and that bachelor,
Green-hatted Robichon, who at your beck
Comes quickly as if you shared property.
You cannot stay away from him. You two
Seem ever fluting on one set of pipes.
I don't know what you find to talk about
That such reciprocal amusement gives.
To see you carry on so shamelessly
Must necessarily incite my rage.
By God, who lies not, if again you talk
With him, I'll give you wherewithal to blanch
Your face or make it black and blue. By heavens,
Unless you leave this dissipated life,
Such blows I'll give, so hard I'll slap your cheeks,
Which all the libertines now think so sweet,
That you'll be coy and quiet for a while.
Without me never shall you leave the house
Though I must clamp on you an iron ring
To make you slave at home as you deserve.
'Tis deviltry makes you so intimate
With ribalds full of flattery, whom you
Should never recognize. Was it for them
Or for myself that I affianced you?
Do you think that you can deserve my love
When with whoremasters you associate?
Think you their minds would have such bawdy thoughts
Unless they found you bawdy in your turn?
I have no faith in such a dirty drab!
" " The devil 'twas that made me marry you!
Would that I Theophrastus had believed
And never wed! He thinks a man a sot
Who joins himself in wedlock with a wife,
Be she or foul or fair or poor or rich;
For in his noble book called Aureole ,
Which should be studied in the schools, he says,
And I believe it true, that such a man
Too grievous life will lead, filled full of pain,
Of labor, quarrels, danger, and reproach
Caused by a silly woman's foolish pride
And the demands and the complaints she makes,
Occasions for which she never fails to find.
Hard it will be to curb her foolish will
And guard her from herself. If she be poor,
Her clothing, shoes, and food will be great charge.
If she be rich, he may avoid expense,
But he will suffer from her proud disdain,
Her arrogance, and her presumptuousness.
If she be fair, all men will her besiege,
Flatter, pursue, attack, torment, engage —
Make battle for her, study to assist,
Flock round her making prayers, her favor seek,
So covetous of her that in the end
They'll manage so that it small wonder were
If her defenses, thus beset, should fall.
If she be foul, she'll try to please them all;
And how can one do this and yet be safe?
She guards a jewel all are fighting for —
Which every man desires who glimpses it.
No one on earth can everybody fight
And safely guard a thing that all men wish.
" " Had she not been the best of wives in Greece,
The suitors who besieged Penelope
Had won their point and conquered even her.
" " King Tarquin's son so gained his end when he
Ravished by force the chaste Lucretia,
Though, to be sure, she therefore killed herself.
Nowise, as Titus Livius says, could sire
Or husband, or her other relatives,
However much they sought to save her life,
Keep her from suicide before their eyes.
Much did they beg her to forsake her grief.
Wisely they spoke. Her husband, notably,
Gave pious comfort, freely pardoned her,
Said and did everything he could to prove
By logic that her body had not sinned,
Since never had her heart desired the act;
For when the will consents not there's no sin.
But she maintained her mourning, and kept hid
Beneath her robe a knife which no one saw
Until she drew it forth to kill herself.
Boldly she answered, " Though you pardon me,
Fair sirs, for that foul sin that weighs me down,
Myself I cannot pardon, nor sustain
The shame. " Then, full of agony, she struck
And cleft her heart in twain, falling to earth
Before them all; but ere she died she prayed
That they would labor to avenge her death.
This case procured enactment of that law
By which all women were thenceforth assured
That death should be the punishment for rape.
Proud Tarquin and his sons, to exile sent,
Died miserably. After this ill event
No Roman wished to have him king at Rome.
" " But no Lucretia lives in Rome today,
And no Penelope in all of Greece;
Indeed, if one should search the entire world,
He'd hardly find a woman of this kind.
The pagans say no woman guards herself
Against the attack of a determined man.
'Twere hard to find exception to this rule.
Indeed, there's many a one offers herself
When she's aware no man solicits her.
" " Most inconsistent is the wont of men
When they would marry; often I'm amazed
That such a risky custom they should use.
Whence comes their foolishness I do not know,
Unless from madness or insanity.
I never see a man who buys a mare
Act so unwisely as to close the deal
Without observing her unblanketed.
If she is covered, he will strip her bare
That he may see her parts and try her out.
But one will take a wife without such test,
All unaware of solace or regret,
For better or for worse, without a chance
Of finding faults in her, provided that
She no displeasure give before they're wed.
But when the knot is tied, her spite appears;
Then first does she reveal the vice she has;
Then first the fool perceives her evil tricks
When late repentance will avail him not.
No matter, therefore, how much care he takes,
There's scarce a husband, but he be a sot,
Who, once he's married, finds no discontent.
" " A virtuous maid! By Saint Denis I swear
She's rarer than the phoenix. He who weds
Afflicts himself with many a hard mischance
And fear and care, as says Valerius.
More rare than is the phoenix, did I say?
If I say that she's rarer than white crows,
However fair their body seem, 'twould be
More just comparison. But ne'ertheless,
Lest any living man assert that I
Seem too severely to assail the sex,
I'll modify my statement. He who'd find
A virtuous woman — secular or nun —
Much labor must expend upon his search.
Such birds are scattered thinly o'er the earth;
You are more apt to find a Negro swan.
This is confirmed by Juvenal, who says:
" If ever you should find a woman chaste,
Go kneel within the temple, bow and pray
To Jupiter; take pains to sacrifice
A gilded cow to Juno, his famed wife. "
For no more marvelous adventure came
Ever to living creature in this world.
" " Valerius is not ashamed to ask
To what end thinks the fool that he will come
Who either in this land or overseas
Makes love to evil women, who abound
Thicker than flies, or bees about a hive.
Who trust in such frail twigs lose body and soul.
Valerius, who grieved when he perceived
That Rufinus, his friend, would take a wife,
Spoke these hard words: " May God omnipotent
Forbid that e'er you're caught within the net
Of woman, who is powerful to crush
All things by her destructive artifice! "

" " And Juvenal wrote likewise to his friend
Posthumus, when the latter wished to wed:
" You wish to marry? Can't you find for sale
A rope or halter — any kind of cord?
Can you not jump from open window high,
Or fall into the river from a bridge?
What Fury leads you to endure such woe and pain?" "