I Have Taken the Bad with the Good

I have taken the bad with the good and been happy:
In the irresolution of slow days have taken the bad with the good:
Not waiting to be approved but going about my business without a question:
Being called back a thousand times by those who loved me and by those who feared what I was going to:
Meeting with enemies, often having to fight my way through them inch by inch:
Not always being so dead sure yet always being sure enough to go on:
I and my little enterprise, divine companions, loving each other, side by side:
Through twenty years of toil standing together, keeping no account of what it cost —
Knowing, of course, that it would cost love but being willing to pay love as long as love lasted:
Refuting resentments, overcoming despairs, only remembering the thing that needed to be done and driving fearfully and fearlessly towards it:
That sacred impossible thing which it became our possible task to do —
Going a little farther out of camp, reaching a little more beyond the frontiers, taking man a little nearer his own design:
That being the appointed result, that being what we gave ourselves to do — myself and my comrade:
Not saying now today that we have failed or succeeded, only saying that we have tried:
Not saying now today that we have been loyal or disloyal, only saying that we have been happy:
O so happy even in the defeats and mists of calamitous times: so happy, O so happy!

I did not always know what the world was about but I always knew what I was about,
And so often when it looked as though I'd have to quit because the world said I should quit, the odds against us being too great,
Then somehow it looked more as though I'd have to continue because my heart said continue:
For I did not embark without knowing how much of my daily substance would have to be given for this priceless shadow:
I did not start making light of the journey or supposing I was a spoiled darling of fortune:
I saw before I took a step that I was in for a tussle of life or death:
And so I planned for patience and prayed for grit and most of all filled myself with love:
For I knew that love would take me on without fail after all other supports had given out:
For I knew that love would stand by me as long as I stood by love:
And so after all, in spite of the laughter of the crowd that saw my boat launched and heard my hurrahs —
After all, in spite of the jeers or the silences of those who stood there and saw me set sail —
In spite of all that they said or did not say I was not suspicious of myself — I had no doubt I was steered into the right course:
Knowing from something within me that I was obliged to accept this challenge no matter what consequence it led to —
Whether it led to reward or ruin, whether it led to discovery or oblivion.

Shall I say anything now about the terrors of the voyage?
I do not pretend that I have always been joyful or always been true:
I too have gone way down: has anyone gone down deeper than I have?
I too have gone way up: has anyone gone higher up than I have?
Some days the storms were extra thick and my pulse was extra slow —
Some days I looked above to where the pennant was flying in the contrary winds:
And then I asked questions — then I wondered if the code was worth while or if I was worth while:
Then I was puzzled and ready to drop the thing where it was and confess myself outplayed:
Oh! yes: I too have burned and seared in that hell knowing its fiercest devouring fires:
And I dont understand why I did not surrender right then and there instead of pushing on:
But I pushed on: I stopped wondering and questioning and pushed on:
Taking that which I could not see for granted: taking victory for granted:
In the poverties taking riches for granted, in the unforgiving battle taking the forgiving peace for granted:
Shutting my eyes, confining myself to what was inside me: taking my heart and its love for granted:
Then going on and on and on — in the bitter cold sailing into the eclipsing veil:
Going on and on and on: taking my heart and its love for granted.

Well — I have arrived somewhere but I do not know where I have arrived,
And I come to something but I do not know what it is I come to,
And my adventure has not been wasted though I could not give you any evidence of its success,
And my love has not been misplaced: my unshakable love: and yet I could not put it into figures in a report,
And so it may be that I who commenced in such mystery remain enshrouded in the mystery with which I commenced,
And it may be that it would not be best for me to know anything or much about my gains or losses:
So that now, standing before you with my hat off, helpless, neither innocent nor guilty —
So that now I can say no more than that I have done my best and served in love:
I have taken the bad with the good and been happy.
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