Member Poem

If I could send you a text and tell you how I feel without no repercussions, my heart would be stored in iCloud for eternity and all to see.

Sometimes I imagine getting a message from you spilling your guts first, but alas my love, this is reality.

In the essence of your being with everything in me I know you love me. Deep down and surface level all at once. Society tells you it’s wrong to love a girl like me.

I should be a certain frame. A small but thick size. An object to be ogled but only touched by you. Envied by all your friends, your walking trophy.

Instead, you shun your emotions. In my mind you long to tell me how much you can’t bear life without me. That God has told you time and time again that it’s me. To ignore man and listen to your creator. Be obedient. So that’s why you’re here.

That you will drop your pride and anguish. Your fear of being mocked and ostracized at the mere thought of loving a girl like me.

How you often think about me randomly throughout the day… wondering what I’m doing. What set of phrases and words is causing the radiant sunshine of my smile this time? The sweet melody of my laughter stirring up from the depths of my belly. Even the furrow in my brow when I’m in intense thought.

Some days it’s too much and you reach out still holding back. You just have to know. So, you play. We do a dance. Tango in tandem with words filled with air lost with what we truly want to say.

Back in my alternate reality a vibration from my bedside illuminates the words you’ve been destined to speak. Crazy about you. In love. God said. Obedience. Can’t live without you. Beauty. Essence. You are and always will be. HER.

Maybe it’s too much. I care too much always. I would say there is no one else who sees the light, the dark and the truth in my real name. Everything in you.

I too wonder where you are. Are you aware? I love you. The words to our happily ever after. When all falls away and then there were us. Homie, friend and bro no more. Fam only mentioned after we’ve finally become one.

If God said the same, heaven will rejoice. When it all falls away. Precious pride and fear.

But it’s all a dream. Feelings. Babble of the mind. Because my God would never torture me like you do my love.