Classic Poem

My frend (my Celsus! that's most Eloquent
Of all Physitians) helpe ere all be spent
The tacklings of my spirit, with waves & wind
Of course discourse, that raves in most mankind
I must come to thee, for some cordiall thing
For what they vent (beside the smart & sting)
Diaphoretick, Diuretick is
He that will tak't is sure to sweat & pisse.
As pedants, Iustices, Stepmothers when
They say, I'le talk with you Sr, threaten then
Mere talkers so, me persecuting, breake
Their minds, as banquerout wanting stock; & speake
Till I stand stock-still: hauing else noe fence
Gainst hearing theirs; but turning thus, nonsence
Cryticks that breake vp moldy books (like wise
My Lord Maiors tough rie-crusted great gylt pies
Wher lie dead Calues embalmd, which rising good
Veale mummie, serve to cure the brotherhood)
Cannot with wedges cleaue theise writhen blocks;
Nor all your high-crosse combatants with knocks
Of two cartload of cudgells once expell
Theise braines, or peirce their Dura maters kell
All statesmen, all intelligencers bring,
Wormes, pincers, cupping-glasses, any thing
The rack, the gallows, or the fire to passe
They could not tell you what their meaning was
But thy rich noble conference on me
Conferrs both benefice & dignitie,
As lustie Virgill leaps & sitts a strid
While Phœbus Nun Corvetts; Theise Goblins ride
Theise Incubi, theise daymares vrge me so
That like a child emptie & whipt I goe
Moaning my selfe to thee my Nurse, whose brest
Vnfolded, brings me both to food and rest.