Classic Poem

Of an Owld Hagg that desired Verses

What doth she seek? a verse of prayse?
To crop a Spell-branch from the Bayes?
Fresh Aprill flowres you may remember
Pul in their heads at Sharp December
Could cannot be comprised in
Those numbers wher the Muses been
For like to Janus all Her Graces
Consist through baldnes in two faces
Time with his plough bewrinkling thorough
Her Tawny skin hath run his furrough
Between Her Squint Eyes that seemd fled
For Age soe sunk into her head
Erected was a Nose that's flatt
Yet wheron Promontary satt
With which a Downy Chin half met
Include Her speaking dore of Jet
Soe that heer represented are
Some Narrow Strayt and Nuttcracker
Now being Tooth-less Gumms Sh'intreats
To doe their Office, chew her meats
Which when sent to her rotten Panch
Again in Belch and Fart doe lanch
Whence riseth such a Damp and Breath
To Those approach as threatens Death
In evry Yawne such sulphers dwell
As Etna hath not more nor Hell
The Rume which through a Could distills
Hangs at Her nose like Icecles
Frame Her all winters Could, yet in
Her Chops through leannes hollowed Thin
The fiery Carbuncle in Red
Pimples like moulhills shews his head
That you would think't the Goddess fell
Drank of that Macedonian well
But if with Her lookes you compare
Phebus the Great Worlds Travailer
You'l find Him fixt Even and Morn
To th'Tropike Line of Capricorn
Nay rather soe Dark doth Sh'appeer
As 'thin the Artike Dayless Sphere
That who so doth behowld and see
This spawn of Baselisk may be
Ever of stil Mortallety
And if her Stammering tongue but hiss
The Screech Owle or night crow it is
To Her Crook Neck Her Shoulders sute
To joyne the Belly of her lute
Soe that She seems O-wrions harpe
Her body all soe much doth warp
That you may judg Her Age to be
From Cleanlines and True Joy free.