To Punch

. . . Punch . . . Punch . . . as yet you hardly know
How excellent your father is:
Hush . . . if your eye should ever choose
An utterance that is of use
A single joke that does amuse
Occurring in the Daily News
. . . Believe me, it is His.

Ah, Happy child . . . you never read
The Daily News at all . . . your wont
Is of the story simplier set
O Punch! The Paradoxer's Pet!
You do not read the " News " as yet
And when you do, you won't.

Punch, do not try to get inside
Of every gate that heaves in sight
I know that in an elder time
I've seen your pa (a well of crime)
With similar abruptness, climb
A lamp-post for a light.

But do not do it; your papa
Professionally, is prone to rot.
Forgive him, he is free and bold
He is not really very old:
Remember you are three years old.
Remember he is not.
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