Seventh Part
SEVENTH PART
ARGUMENT
Here beginneth the seventh part of the Filostrato, in which first of all Troilus on the tenth day awaiteth Cressida at the gate. Whom, when she cometh not, he excuseth, and returneth thither on the eleventh day and again on other days. And when she cometh not, he returneth to his tears. With sorrow Troilus consumeth himself. Priam asketh him the reason, Troilus keepeth silent. Troilus dreameth that Cressida hath been taken away from him. He relateth his dream to Pandarus and wisheth to kill himself. Pandarus restraineth and keepeth him back therefrom. He writeth to Cressida. Deiphoebus learneth of his love. While he lieth in bed, ladies visit him. Cassandra rebuketh him and he rebuketh Cassandra. And in the first place, when the tenth day hath arrived, Troilus and Pandarus await Cressida at the gate .
1.
Troilus, as hath been said above, was passing the time awaiting the appointed day, which arrived indeed after long waiting. Wherefore feigning other concerns, he went away alone toward the gate, discoursing much thereof with Pandarus. And toward the camp they went, gazing about to discover whether they might see anyone coming toward Troy.
2.
And everyone whom they saw coming toward them alone or in company was believed to be Cressida, until he had come so close to them that he could be easily recognized. And there they tarried until after midday, often deluded by this belief, as their later experience showed.
3.
Troilus said: " As far as I can believe she would not now come before mealtime. She will have difficulty in ridding herself of her old father — more than she would wish. What counsel wilt thou give me in this? I for my part believe that she would have come, if come she might and if she had not stopped to eat with him. "
4.
Pandarus said: " I believe that thou speakest truly. But let us depart and then we shall return again. " Troilus agreed and thus they did in the end. And the time that they tarried before returning, was very long, but the hope deceived them, as it appeared, and they found it empty, for this gentle lady came not, and already it was far gone in the ninth hour.
5.
Quoth Troilus: " Peradventure her father will have detained her and will desire that she stay until vespers and therefore her return will be somewhat late. Now let us stay on the outside so that her entrance be not delayed, for oftentimes these sentries are wont to hold in talk him who cometh, without making distinction for whom it is fitting. "
6.
Twilight came and after that the evening, and many persons had deceived Troilus, who had ever stood in suspense, with eye riveted on the camp, and closely had he scanned all who came from the shore to Troy, and some had he questioned for further particulars, and naught had he gathered of that which he sought.
7.
Wherefore he turned to Pandarus and said: " This lady hath doubtless done wisely, if I have good understanding of her ways. Probably she desireth to come secretly and therefore waiteth for the night, and I commend it. Probably she hath no desire to make men wonder or say: " Hath she who was demanded in exchange for Antenor returned here so soon?"
8.
" Therefore let not waiting displease thee, my Pandarus, I pray thee in the name of the gods. We have now naught else to do. Let not the attainment of my desire weigh heavily upon thee. If I mistake not, it seemeth to me that I see her. Ah, look yonder, ah, dost thou see what I do? " " No, " said Pandarus, " if my eyes are really open, what thou showest me seemeth to me naught else but a cart. "
9.
" Alas that thou sayest truly! " said Troilus. " Even as it now goeth, so much doth that which I would wish might now happen, transport me. " Already had the sun's light grown dim and an occasional star appeared to have come into the heavens when Troilus said: " Some sweet thought comforteth me in my desire; believe it for certain that she is to come hither now. "
10.
Pandarus laughed to himself, but silently, at that which Troilus said and clearly understood the reason that moved him to say it. And in order not to make him more sorrowful on that account than he was, he made a semblance of believing and said: " This wretched youth expecteth a wind from Mongibello. "
11.
The waiting came to naught, and the sentries were making a great clamor at the gate, calling within both citizens and strangers, whoever did not wish to remain outside, and also all the country people and their beasts. But Troilus made them wait more than two hours. At last when the sky had become all starry, he returned within, accompanied by Pandarus.
12.
And although he had many times beguiled the day by entertaining now one hope and now another, among the many Love wished that he should give credence to some one of those less foolish. Wherefore he again directed his speech to Pandarus, saying: " We are fools for having expected her today.
13.
" Ten days she told me she would tarry with her father, without delaying there a moment longer, and that she would after that return to Troy. The end of the time is set for this present day. Therefore she should be coming hither tomorrow, if we count correctly, and we have stayed here the entire day, so much hath desire made us unmindful of it.
14.
" Tomorrow morning, Pandarus, we must return here betimes. " But little availed their looking up and down, for to another had she directed her thought; so that, after long waiting, they returned within the walls, as they had done the day before, since 'twas already night. But that was over-bitter to Troilus.
15.
And the glad hope that he had, had almost nothing to which it might cling. Wherefore he grieved much within himself and began to complain more bitterly 'gainst her and Love, nor did it seem to him at all reasonable that she should so long delay in returning, since she had promised him faithfully to return.
16.
But the third, and the fourth, and the fifth, and the sixth day after the tenth, which had already expired, each was awaited with sighs by Troilus, now hoping and now ceasing to hope for her return. And after these a longer respite was again obtained of hope, and all in vain, for she did not return, whilst Troilus was pining away in expectation.
17.
The tears that had slackened under the encouragement of Pandarus, and the sighs as well, returned without having been recalled by him, giving free vent to fiery desire and those which hope had spared, poured forth in double quantity under the torments that became hotter in him, tricked as he was, than they had been before, a full score for every one.
18.
In him every desire which had been ancient, returned afresh, and beside it the deceit which it seemed to him that he had suffered, and the hostile spirit of jealousy, a burden more than any other grievous and unrelieved by respite, as know those who have experienced it. Wherefore he wept day and night as much as his eyes and he were capable of weeping.
19.
He ate but little and naught did he drink, so full of anguish was his sad heart. And beside this he could not sleep, except his sleep were broken by sighs, and his life and himself he held utterly in contempt, and pleasure he shunned as fire, and likewise he avoided as much as he might every festivity and every company.
20.
And such had he become in his visage that rather seemed he beast than man; nor would anyone have recognized him, so wan and dispirited was now his face. All strength had departed from his body and scarce was there in his limbs vigor enough to sustain him, nor would he accept any consolation that anyone offered him.
21.
Priam, who saw him thus bewildered, did sometimes call him to himself and say: " My son, what hath ailed thee? What is it that grieveth thee? Thou seemest not the same, and pallid thou art. What is the cause of thy wretched life? Tell me, my son, — thou canst hardly stand, and, if I mistake not, thou art very faint. "
22.
The like would Hector say to him, and Paris, and his other brothers and his sisters. And they would ask him whence he had so great a grief as this and on account of what cruel news. To all of whom he would say that he felt pain in his heart, but what it might be, none could question him so far that he could learn more of it from him.
23.
One day all melancholy on account of the broken pledge, Troilus had gone to sleep, and in a dream he saw the perilous sin of her who made him languish. For he seemed to hear a great and unpleasant crashing within a shady wood. Upon raising his head thereat he seemed to behold a great charging boar.
24.
And then afterward it seemed to him that he saw beneath its feet Cressida, whose heart it tore forth with its snout. And as it seemed, little cared Cressida for so great a hurt, but almost did she take pleasure in what the beast was doing. This gave him such a fit of rage that it broke off his uneasy slumber.
25.
When he was awake he began to reflect upon what he had seen in the dream. And he thought that he saw clearly the meaning of that which had appeared to him. And quickly he sent for Pandarus. And when the latter had come to him, weeping he began: " O Pandarus mine, my life no longer pleaseth the gods.
26.
" Thy Cressida, alas, in whom I trusted more than in any other, hath deceived me. She hath given her love to another, which grieveth me much more than death. The gods have shown it me in the dream. " And thereupon he narrated to him all the dream. Then he began to tell him what was the meaning of such a dream; and thus he said to him:
27.
" This boar that I saw is Diomede, since his grandfather slew the boar of Calidon, if we may give credence to our ancestors, and ever afterward the descendants, as it is seen, have borne the swine as a crest. Alas, how bitter and true a dream! He must have robbed her of her heart, that is her love, with his speech.
28.
" He holdeth her, woe is me, as thou too mayest plainly see. He alone preventeth her return; if that were not so, it was well within her power to return, nor would her aged father nor any other care have been an obstacle. Whereby I have been deceived whilst I believed in her and mocked the while I awaited her in vain.
29.
" Alas, Cressida, what subtle wit, what new pleasure, what alluring beauty, what wrath against me, what just anger, what fault of mine, or what cruel strangeness have been able to bring thy noble mind to another aim? Alas constancy, alas promise, alas faith and loyalty! Who hath cast you forth from the object of my affection?
30.
" Alas, why did I ever let thee go? Why did I believe in thy bad counsel? Why did I not bring thee away with me, as, alas, I had desire to do? Why did I not break the agreements made, as it came into my heart to do, when I saw thee surrendered? Thou wouldst not then have been disloyal and false, nor would I now be miserable.
31.
" I believed thee and I hoped in all certainty that thy faith would be sacred and thy words a most certain truth, a truth more open than the light of the sun to living men. But thou didst speak to me ambiguously and covertly, as it appeareth now in thy vanities. For not only hast thou not returned to me but thou hast fallen in love with another man.
32.
" What shall I do, Pandarus? I feel a great fire newly enkindled in my mind, such that I find no room in my thought for aught else. I desire to seize upon death with my hands, for it would be no sport to remain longer in such a life. Now that Fortune hath brought me to so evil a fate, dying will be a delight whenas living would be distress and despite. "
33.
When he had said this, he ran to a sharp knife hanging in the room and would have stabbed himself in the breast with it, had he not been restrained by Pandarus, who caught the wretched youth when he had seen him vent his despair in the usual words, with sighs and the shedding of tears.
34.
Troilus cried out: " Ah, hold me not, dear friend, I pray thee in the name of the gods; since I am minded to desire such a thing, let me carry out my cruel intent; unhand me, if thou wilt not first learn what manner of death that is to which I hasten; unhand me, Pandarus, for I shall strike thee, if thou dost not, and then I shall slay myself.
35.
" Let me take away from the world the most sorrowful body alive; let me in my death give contentment to our deceitful lady, who will some day go following my footsteps through the dark shades in the realm of sorrow; let me kill myself, for a languishing life is worse than death. " And saying this he strove again and again for the knife, which the other kept away from him.
36.
Pandarus still struggled with him, holding him straitly, and had it not been that Troilus was weak, the strength of Pandarus would have been overcome, such jerks did Troilus give, abetted by his mad rage. Yet in the end Pandarus removed the knife from the reach of his hand and made him against his will sit tearfully with him.
37.
And after bitter weeping he turned toward him in pity with such words as these: " Troilus, I have always had such faith in thy devotion to me that had I been bold enough to demand that thou shouldst kill thyself for me or for another, thou wouldst have done so immediately, as courageously as I would for thee in every case.
38.
" And thou hast been unwilling at my prayers to shun ugly and displeasing death, and had I not been stronger than thou, I should have seen thee die here. I did not believe that I should see thee fail me in the promises thou gavest me, although thou canst still make amends for this, if thou note with profit what I say.
39.
" As far as I can see, thou hast formed the opinion that Cressida is Diomedes'. And if I have well understood what thou hast said about it, nothing else giveth thee proof of that but the dream, a suspicion which thou dost entertain on account of the animal which woundeth with his tushes, and being unwilling to think more about it beforehand, thou dost desire to end wretched weeping with death.
40.
" And I told thee once before that it was folly to look too deeply into dreams. No one there was nor is nor ever will be who can with certainty well interpret what fancy can show forth with varied forms in the sleep of another, and many indeed have believed one thing while another opposite and contrary thereto came to pass.
41.
" So might it turn out in respect to this. Perhaps where you interpret the animal as hostile to thy love, it will be beneficial to thee and will do thee no harm, as thou thinkest. Doth it seem to thee an honorable deed for any man — to say nothing of one of royal line, as thou art — to kill himself with his own hands, or utter such shrieks on love's account?
42.
" This thing should have been done in quite another way than thou didst it. First was it desirable to find out cunningly, as thou couldst, whether it were true, and if thou hadst found it false, and yet not entirely so, then shouldst thou have raised thyself above faith in dreams and their deceit, which are harmful to thee.
43.
" If thou shouldst find it true that thou hast been abandoned by Cressida for another, thou shouldst not with all thy mind take deliberate counsel that there is nothing for thee to do but die; for I do not know by whom it was ever held in anything but blame. But 'twere well hadst thou taken thought to make mock of her as she hath made mock of thee.
44.
" And if indeed heavy thoughts drive thee to death to feel a lesser grief, that which thou didst choose should not have been chosen, for other way there was to accomplish such a wish. Verily thy wicked thoughts should have shown it thee, since the Greeks are before the threshold of the gate of Troy, and they will slay thee and ask no pardon.
45.
" So then we shall go together in arms against the Greeks whenever thou mayest wish to die; here shall we fight against them as honored youths, and like men shall we die avenged in slaying them, nor shall I forbid it thee at their hands certainly, provided I perceive that a just cause moveth thee to desire death in such fashion. "
46.
Troilus, who still trembled in hot rage, listened to him as well as his grief might permit, and when he had heard him to the end, he wept as one still in distress. He turned to him, who stood waiting to see whether he was diverted from his mad intent, and in this wise spake to him through his tears, ever interrupting his speech with sobs:
47.
" Pandarus, live sure of this, that I am entirely thine in all that I can be. Living and dying will not be hard for me so long as thy pleasure is done, and if a little while ago, when thou didst belabor me for my own welfare, I was beyond the reach of wise judgment on account of my madness, thy prudence must not wonder at it.
48.
" Into such error sudden belief in the wretched dream made me come. Now in less angry mood do I see clearly my great delusion and my mad desire. But if thou dost see by what proof I can perceive the truth of this suspicion, do thou tell it me, I pray thee in the name of the gods, for I am confused and by myself I see it not. "
49.
To whom Pandarus said: " In my opinion she is to be tested by writing, since if she careth no longer for thee, I do not believe that we shall have response from her, and if we have it, we may see clearly by the written words whether thou art to have further hope of her return, or whether she hath become enamored of another man.
50.
" Since she departed, never hast thou written to her nor she to thee. And she might have such cause for her tarrying that thou wouldst say that she was right indeed to stay, and it might be such that thou wouldst take timidity to task rather than any other offense. Write to her then, for if thou doest it, thou wilt see clearly what thou art in search of. "
51.
Already was Troilus disgusted with himself; therefore he believed him readily. And having withdrawn apart, he commanded that writing materials should be given him at once. And it was done. Wherefore after reflecting somewhat over what he ought to write, he began, not as one mad, and wrote without delay to his lady. And in this wise he said:
52.
" Youthful lady, to whom Love gave me and whose he holdeth me and, while I am alive, will ever hold me with faith unbroken, since thou in thy departure didst leave here in greater misery than any man believeth, my soul dismayed, it commendeth itself to thy great excellence and cannot send thee other salutation.
53.
" Although thou art become almost a Greek, my letter will not fail to be received by thee, since in a short time one forgetteth not so long a love as that which holdeth and hath held our friendship together, which, I pray, may be eternal. Therefore take it and read it even to the end.
54.
" If the servant might in any case complain of his lord, perhaps I should have reason to complain of thee, considering the faith I gave to thy devoted affection and the many promises and the oath thou madest to every god that thou wouldst return by the tenth day — and thou hast not yet made thy return within forty.
55.
" But since it is fitting that all that pleaseth thee, pleaseth me, I dare not complain, but as humbly as I can, I write thee my mind, more glowing with love than ever before, and likewise my ardent longing and my life as well, desirous, as I am, to know what thy life hath been since thou wert sent in exchange among the Greeks.
56.
" It seemeth to me, if I have not misinterpreted what is passing in thy mind, that the flatteries of thy father have had much influence upon thee, or a new lover hath entered thy mind, or, although for an old man to become generous is a phenomenon rarely remarked among us, that the avaricious Calchas may have turned liberal, though the intent in thy heart led me to the contrary belief in thy last and bitter plaint.
57.
" And then thou hast tarried so far beyond our proposal, when thou wert according to thy promises under obligation to return so soon. If it were the first or the third reason, thou shouldst have made it plain to me, for thou knowest that I do and did agree to what thou didst wish. For I should have borne it patiently, however much grief it had caused me.
58.
" But much I fear that a new love may be the cause of thy long staying. And if this be true, it would be a greater pain than any I have yet experienced. And if my ardor hath deserved it, thou shouldst not now have reason to know of it. On this account I live wretchedly in such fear that it robbeth me of pleasure and hope.
59.
" This fear maketh me utter heart-rending cries, when I would wish to be at my ease. This fear alone playeth the conqueror in my thoughts. Wherefore I know not what to do. This fear, alas and alack, slayeth me, and I have neither the knowledge nor the power to protect myself from it. This fear hath brought me to such a pass that I am useful neither to Venus nor to Mars.
60.
" My grieving eyes, after thy departure, never left off weeping; eat or drink, rest or sleep I could not thereafter. But always have I uttered bitter moans; and what could most often have been heard upon my lips was the constant naming of thy name and calling upon thee and upon love for comfort. On account of this only I believe that I am not dead.
61.
" Well mayest thou give thought, alas, to what I should do, were I certain of what I suspect. Surely I believe that I would take my life, if I were convinced of such defection on thy part. And to what purpose should I live on in this world, had I lost hope of thee, my heart's desire, whom I await for my only peace in this tearful life of mine?
62.
" Sweet songs and honest gatherings, birds and dogs and going about taking my pleasure, lovely ladies, temples, and great feasts, in search of which I once was wont to go, one and all I now avoid. Alas, they are hateful to me whenever I take thought that thou, my sweet felicity and my sovereign hope, now dwellest far away from here.
63.
" The bright colored flowers and the soft grass, which make the fields of quite a thousand colors, cannot charm my soul, constrained, O lady, on thine account, by the ardors of love. That part of heaven alone delighteth me under which I believe thou now dwellest, and upon that I gaze and say: " That part now seeth her from whom I hope reward."
64.
" I gaze upon the mountains that stand round about, and the place that holdeth thee hidden from me, and sighing I say: " They have, though they know it not, the love-inspiring sight of the fair eyes for which I grieve far from them in a very distressful life. Now would I were one of them, or would I might now dwell upon one of them so that I might see it."
65.
" I behold the waters descending to the sea, near which thou now dwellest, and I say: " Those waters after some flowing will come thither where the divine light of mine eyes hath gone to stay and will be seen by her." Alas, wretched life of mine! Why can I not go in their place as they do?
66.
" If the sun setteth, I watch him with envy, because it seemeth to me that enamored of my joy — that is, urged on by desire of thee — he returneth more quickly than he is wont, to see thee again. And after some sighing I begin to hate it and my sorrows increase. Wherefore, in fear lest he may take thee from me, I pray that night may fall again quickly.
67.
" Hearing sometimes men name the place where thou dost dwell or sometimes seeing one who cometh from there, rekindleth the fire in my heart, worn out by too much sorrowing, and it seemeth that I feel some secret joy in my pleasure-bound soul and to myself I say: " Would I might go from here to that place whence he cometh, O sweet my desire."
68.
" But what doest thou among armed knights, among warlike men and the noise of war, under the tents in the midst of ambushes, often dismayed by the terrors of the clank of arms and of the storms along the coast near which thou dwellest now? Is it not, my lady, a grievous sorrow to thee, who wert wont to lead so pleasant a life in Troy?
69.
" I have indeed compassion upon thee more than upon myself, who am the properer object thereof. Do thou then return and keep thy promise wholly before I fall into a worse condition. I pardon thee every wound inflicted upon me by thy long tarrying and I ask no amends for it, except the sight of thy fair face, in which alone is my paradise.
70.
" Ah, I pray thee by that desire which once seized me for thee and thee for me, and likewise by that sweetness which did equally enkindle our hearts, and moreover by that beauty which thou dost possess, gracious lady mine, by the sighs and piteous laments, so many in number, that once we made together,
71.
" By the sweet kisses and by that embrace which once held us so close bound, by the great joy and the sweet converse that made our delight the happier, by that faith as well which it once pleased thee to give to amorous words, when we parted the last time and came not together again thereafter,
72.
" I pray that thou wilt remember me and return. And if perchance thou art prevented, write to me who after the ten days hath hindered thee from making thy return here. Ah, let it not be grievous to thy sweet speech; in this at least content my life, and tell me if I am ever to have more hope in thee, sweet my love.
73.
" If thou wilt give me hope, I will wait, although it is beyond measure grievous to me; if thou wilt take it from me, I will slay myself and put an end to my hard life. But though the harm is mine, let the shame be thine, for thou wilt have brought a subject of thine, who hath committed no fault, to so inglorious a death.
74.
" Pardon if in setting down the words I have failed in the order, and if perchance thou dost behold the letter that I send covered with stains. For my pain is the great cause both of the one and of the other, since I live and abide in tears, nor doth aught that happens check them. Therefore these so frequent spots are grievous tears.
75.
" And more I say not, although there still remaineth much for me to say, except " do thou come." Ah, bring it about, my soul, for thou canst if only thou dost apply thereto all the wit thou art master of. Alas, for thou wilt not know me, so am I changed in my malignant sorrows. Nor do I say more to thee, save only the gods be with thee, and make thee soon to be with me. "
76.
Then did he give it sealed to Pandarus, who dispatched it. But the reply was vainly awaited by them for many days. Wherefore the more than human grief of Troilus persisted and he was confirmed in his opinion of his insane dream, not however to such a degree that he ceased to hope that Cressida might indeed yet love him.
77.
From day to day his grief waxed greater with the decline of hope. Wherefore he had to take to his bed, for he was exhausted. But indeed by chance there came to visit him Deiphoebus, for whom he had much love. Not seeing him in his woe, he began to say in a low voice: " Alas, Cressida, make me not to die in such grief. "
78.
Deiphoebus then perceived what it was that constrained him, and affecting not to have heard, said: " Brother, why dost thou not now comfort thy sad soul? The gay season cometh and maketh itself fair; the meadows grow green again and afford a pleasing prospect of themselves; and the day hath already come when the term of the truce hath reached its end,
79.
" So that in the usual way we shall be able to make our valor felt by the Greeks. Dost thou no more desire to come in arms with us, for thou wert wont to be the first in dealing blows and as a warrior to be so feared by them that thou didst ever cause them all to flee before thee? Hector hath already given orders to be with him tomorrow outside the moat. "
80.
Just as the hungry lion in search of prey that resteth when weary, suddenly starteth up, shaking his mane, if he perceiveth stag, bull, or other thing, desiring only that, so doth Troilus, when he heareth the doubtful battle begin again, vigor suddenly coursing through his inflamed heart.
81.
And raising his head he said: " Brother mine, in truth I am a trifle weak, but such desire have I for war that I shall soon rise with full vigor from this bed. And I swear to thee, if ever I fought with hard and stern heart against the Greeks, now shall I fight more than ever I did before, in so great hatred do I hold them. "
82.
Deiphoebus well understood what these words meant and much did he urge him on, telling him that they would await him there but that for his comfort he should not now delay longer. And they bade each other farewell. Troilus remained with his usual woes and Deiphoebus made swiftly away to his brothers and related the whole matter to them.
83.
This they readily believed because of the behavior already noticed. And in order not to make him sad on that account they took counsel together to make no mention of it and to give him relief. For they immediately sent messages to their ladies that each of them should go and visit him and make entertainment for him with melodies and singers, so that he should forget his irksome life.
84.
In but a little time the chamber was filled with ladies, and music, and song. On one side of him was Polyxena, who seemed an angel in looks; on the other sat the fair Helen; Cassandra, also, stood in front of them; Hecuba was there and Andromache, and many sisters-in-law and female relatives were gathered together.
85.
Each one comforted him as far as lay within her power, and someone asked him how he felt. He answered not, but regarded now one and now another, and in his faithful mind held remembrance of his Cressida. Nor more than with sighs did he disclose this, and yet some measure of delight did he feel both because of the singing and their beauty.
86.
Cassandra, who had heard by chance what her brother Deiphoebus had said, almost as if she were making fun of him because he appeared so dispirited and wore so rueful a look, said: " Brother, by thee to thy great malease was felt, as I learn, the accursed love, by which we are all to be undone, as we may see if we but wish to.
87.
" And since, albeit, matters were thus to be, would that thou wert enamored of a noble lady, instead of having brought thyself to wasting away on account of the daughter of a wicked priest, a man of evil life and of small importance. Here is the honored son of a great king who leadeth his life in sorrow and weeping because Cressida hath departed from him. "
88.
Troilus was disturbed when he heard his sister, both because he heard dispraise of her whom he loved most and because perceiving that his secret had come to her ears — not knowing how, — he thought that she must know it through the oracles of the gods. Nevertheless he said: " It might appear true, were I to keep silent. "
89.
And he began: " Cassandra, thy desire to guess at every secret more than other people, with thine imaginings, hath already many times caused thee sorrow. Perhaps it would be wiser for thee to hold thy peace than to speak thus at random. Thou dost cast thy speech before all, nor do I know what thou meanest about Cressida.
90.
" Wherefore when I see thee speak too much, I have a mind to do what I have not yet done, that is, to reveal thy ignorance. Thou sayest that excessive love for Cressida maketh me pale, and thou dost wish to turn it to my great shame. But thus far thine Apollo, the god thou hast mocked, hath not clearly shown thee the truth respecting this matter.
91.
" Cressida never pleased me by such love, nor do I believe that there is or ever was anyone in the world who would dare maintain this lie. And if, as thou dost keep saying, it were true, I swear by my faith I would never have let her go hence, unless Priam had slain me first.
92.
" Not that I believe he would have permitted it, as he permitted Paris to abduct Helen, of which we now have such reason to be proud. Therefore check thy ready tongue. But let me suppose indeed that it were established that, as thou sayest, I were in this grievous sorrow on her account, why is not Cressida in every respect worthy of any great man, of whatsoever sort thou wishest?
93.
" I do not wish to speak of her beauty, which, in the judgment of every man, surpasseth that of the highest, since the fallen flower is soon brown. But let us come simply to the matter of her nobility, which thou dost so much disparage, and now let everyone admit the truth, if I tell it, and should another deny it, I pray him to set forth the reason why.
94.
" Nobility is to be found wherever virtue is. This no one who understandeth it, will deny. And all virtues are to be seen in her if the effect may be argued from the cause. But also separately must one arrive at such felicity, just to satisfy this woman who speaketh of everybody without knowing what it is she chattereth of.
95.
" If perchance mine own eyesight and what others say of her deceiveth me not, none more chaste than she will ever be known or hath ever been. And if I hear the truth, unassuming and modest she is beyond others, and certainly her appearance showeth it. And likewise she is silent and retiring where it is fitting, which in woman is a sign of noble nature.
96.
" In her behavior appeareth her discretion and in her speech, which is so sound and judicious and full of all reason. And this year I saw in part how much she had of it in the excuse she made for the perfidy of her father. And in her weeping she gave evidence with eloquent words of her high-minded and very sincere scorn.
97.
" Her ways are very open and therefore meseemeth they need no defense either by me or by another. And I do not believe there are any knights in this city, be there as many courteous ones as you will, whom she would not mate in the middle of the chessboard in courtesy and liberality, provided only there should suffice her the means to do it.
98.
" And this I know because I have already been where she hath honored me and others so highly that on royal thrones sit many who would have experienced a feeling akin to embarrassment at it and who, like base men, would have left them in neglect. If she hath always been modest here, let her praiseworthy renown declare it.
99.
" What more, Lady Cassandra, will ye now demand in a woman? Her blood to be royal? All those upon whom you see crowns or scepters or imperial robes are not kings. Already many times have ye heard, a king is he who is worthy for his virtue, not for his power. And if this lady might, dost thou not believe that she would rule as well as thou?
100.
" Much better than thou would she wear it, I mean, if thou understandest me, the crown. Nor would she be, as thou art, a silly and conceited woman, who snappest at every person. Would the gods had made me worthy to have her for my lady so that, as the report circulateth among you, I might hold in the highest praise what the Lady Cassandra holdeth in dispraise.
101.
" Now be off with a curse to you; since ye cannot talk with reason, spin. Correct your ugliness and let be the virtue of others. Lo here a new sorrow and a new misfortune that a mad woman for vanity's sake is minded to disparage what deserveth praise, and if she be not listened to, it grieveth her. "
102.
Cassandra held her peace and fain would she have been at that moment elsewhere. She mingled with the ladies without saying aught else. And when she was gone from his presence, she repaired straight to the royal palace. Nor did he ever again give her opportunity to visit him there. She was not so willingly seen and listened to in that place.
103.
Hecuba, Helen, and the others commended what Troilus had said. And after a while they all did comfort him in pleasing wise with words and with mirth and with sport. And then they all went forth together, each one returning to her house. And after that they did often visit him again as he lay weak upon his couch.
104.
With the continuance of his grief Troilus became strong enough to bear it patiently. And also on account of the ardent desire he had of displaying his valor against the Greeks, he shortly recovered the strength he had lost through the too bitter pains he had endured.
105.
And besides that Cressida had written to him and explained how she loved him more than ever. And many false excuses had she set down for her so long tarrying without return and requested still another delay for her home-coming, which was never to be, and he had granted it to her, hoping to see her again, but he knew not when.
106.
And then in many battles fought with his adversaries he showed how great was his worth in arms. And his sighs and the other bitter laments which he had had to utter on account of these struggles, he sold to the enemy dear beyond all thought, though not so dear as his wrath desired. But afterward death, which dissolveth everything, set at peace love and the strife which love bringeth.
ARGUMENT
Here beginneth the seventh part of the Filostrato, in which first of all Troilus on the tenth day awaiteth Cressida at the gate. Whom, when she cometh not, he excuseth, and returneth thither on the eleventh day and again on other days. And when she cometh not, he returneth to his tears. With sorrow Troilus consumeth himself. Priam asketh him the reason, Troilus keepeth silent. Troilus dreameth that Cressida hath been taken away from him. He relateth his dream to Pandarus and wisheth to kill himself. Pandarus restraineth and keepeth him back therefrom. He writeth to Cressida. Deiphoebus learneth of his love. While he lieth in bed, ladies visit him. Cassandra rebuketh him and he rebuketh Cassandra. And in the first place, when the tenth day hath arrived, Troilus and Pandarus await Cressida at the gate .
1.
Troilus, as hath been said above, was passing the time awaiting the appointed day, which arrived indeed after long waiting. Wherefore feigning other concerns, he went away alone toward the gate, discoursing much thereof with Pandarus. And toward the camp they went, gazing about to discover whether they might see anyone coming toward Troy.
2.
And everyone whom they saw coming toward them alone or in company was believed to be Cressida, until he had come so close to them that he could be easily recognized. And there they tarried until after midday, often deluded by this belief, as their later experience showed.
3.
Troilus said: " As far as I can believe she would not now come before mealtime. She will have difficulty in ridding herself of her old father — more than she would wish. What counsel wilt thou give me in this? I for my part believe that she would have come, if come she might and if she had not stopped to eat with him. "
4.
Pandarus said: " I believe that thou speakest truly. But let us depart and then we shall return again. " Troilus agreed and thus they did in the end. And the time that they tarried before returning, was very long, but the hope deceived them, as it appeared, and they found it empty, for this gentle lady came not, and already it was far gone in the ninth hour.
5.
Quoth Troilus: " Peradventure her father will have detained her and will desire that she stay until vespers and therefore her return will be somewhat late. Now let us stay on the outside so that her entrance be not delayed, for oftentimes these sentries are wont to hold in talk him who cometh, without making distinction for whom it is fitting. "
6.
Twilight came and after that the evening, and many persons had deceived Troilus, who had ever stood in suspense, with eye riveted on the camp, and closely had he scanned all who came from the shore to Troy, and some had he questioned for further particulars, and naught had he gathered of that which he sought.
7.
Wherefore he turned to Pandarus and said: " This lady hath doubtless done wisely, if I have good understanding of her ways. Probably she desireth to come secretly and therefore waiteth for the night, and I commend it. Probably she hath no desire to make men wonder or say: " Hath she who was demanded in exchange for Antenor returned here so soon?"
8.
" Therefore let not waiting displease thee, my Pandarus, I pray thee in the name of the gods. We have now naught else to do. Let not the attainment of my desire weigh heavily upon thee. If I mistake not, it seemeth to me that I see her. Ah, look yonder, ah, dost thou see what I do? " " No, " said Pandarus, " if my eyes are really open, what thou showest me seemeth to me naught else but a cart. "
9.
" Alas that thou sayest truly! " said Troilus. " Even as it now goeth, so much doth that which I would wish might now happen, transport me. " Already had the sun's light grown dim and an occasional star appeared to have come into the heavens when Troilus said: " Some sweet thought comforteth me in my desire; believe it for certain that she is to come hither now. "
10.
Pandarus laughed to himself, but silently, at that which Troilus said and clearly understood the reason that moved him to say it. And in order not to make him more sorrowful on that account than he was, he made a semblance of believing and said: " This wretched youth expecteth a wind from Mongibello. "
11.
The waiting came to naught, and the sentries were making a great clamor at the gate, calling within both citizens and strangers, whoever did not wish to remain outside, and also all the country people and their beasts. But Troilus made them wait more than two hours. At last when the sky had become all starry, he returned within, accompanied by Pandarus.
12.
And although he had many times beguiled the day by entertaining now one hope and now another, among the many Love wished that he should give credence to some one of those less foolish. Wherefore he again directed his speech to Pandarus, saying: " We are fools for having expected her today.
13.
" Ten days she told me she would tarry with her father, without delaying there a moment longer, and that she would after that return to Troy. The end of the time is set for this present day. Therefore she should be coming hither tomorrow, if we count correctly, and we have stayed here the entire day, so much hath desire made us unmindful of it.
14.
" Tomorrow morning, Pandarus, we must return here betimes. " But little availed their looking up and down, for to another had she directed her thought; so that, after long waiting, they returned within the walls, as they had done the day before, since 'twas already night. But that was over-bitter to Troilus.
15.
And the glad hope that he had, had almost nothing to which it might cling. Wherefore he grieved much within himself and began to complain more bitterly 'gainst her and Love, nor did it seem to him at all reasonable that she should so long delay in returning, since she had promised him faithfully to return.
16.
But the third, and the fourth, and the fifth, and the sixth day after the tenth, which had already expired, each was awaited with sighs by Troilus, now hoping and now ceasing to hope for her return. And after these a longer respite was again obtained of hope, and all in vain, for she did not return, whilst Troilus was pining away in expectation.
17.
The tears that had slackened under the encouragement of Pandarus, and the sighs as well, returned without having been recalled by him, giving free vent to fiery desire and those which hope had spared, poured forth in double quantity under the torments that became hotter in him, tricked as he was, than they had been before, a full score for every one.
18.
In him every desire which had been ancient, returned afresh, and beside it the deceit which it seemed to him that he had suffered, and the hostile spirit of jealousy, a burden more than any other grievous and unrelieved by respite, as know those who have experienced it. Wherefore he wept day and night as much as his eyes and he were capable of weeping.
19.
He ate but little and naught did he drink, so full of anguish was his sad heart. And beside this he could not sleep, except his sleep were broken by sighs, and his life and himself he held utterly in contempt, and pleasure he shunned as fire, and likewise he avoided as much as he might every festivity and every company.
20.
And such had he become in his visage that rather seemed he beast than man; nor would anyone have recognized him, so wan and dispirited was now his face. All strength had departed from his body and scarce was there in his limbs vigor enough to sustain him, nor would he accept any consolation that anyone offered him.
21.
Priam, who saw him thus bewildered, did sometimes call him to himself and say: " My son, what hath ailed thee? What is it that grieveth thee? Thou seemest not the same, and pallid thou art. What is the cause of thy wretched life? Tell me, my son, — thou canst hardly stand, and, if I mistake not, thou art very faint. "
22.
The like would Hector say to him, and Paris, and his other brothers and his sisters. And they would ask him whence he had so great a grief as this and on account of what cruel news. To all of whom he would say that he felt pain in his heart, but what it might be, none could question him so far that he could learn more of it from him.
23.
One day all melancholy on account of the broken pledge, Troilus had gone to sleep, and in a dream he saw the perilous sin of her who made him languish. For he seemed to hear a great and unpleasant crashing within a shady wood. Upon raising his head thereat he seemed to behold a great charging boar.
24.
And then afterward it seemed to him that he saw beneath its feet Cressida, whose heart it tore forth with its snout. And as it seemed, little cared Cressida for so great a hurt, but almost did she take pleasure in what the beast was doing. This gave him such a fit of rage that it broke off his uneasy slumber.
25.
When he was awake he began to reflect upon what he had seen in the dream. And he thought that he saw clearly the meaning of that which had appeared to him. And quickly he sent for Pandarus. And when the latter had come to him, weeping he began: " O Pandarus mine, my life no longer pleaseth the gods.
26.
" Thy Cressida, alas, in whom I trusted more than in any other, hath deceived me. She hath given her love to another, which grieveth me much more than death. The gods have shown it me in the dream. " And thereupon he narrated to him all the dream. Then he began to tell him what was the meaning of such a dream; and thus he said to him:
27.
" This boar that I saw is Diomede, since his grandfather slew the boar of Calidon, if we may give credence to our ancestors, and ever afterward the descendants, as it is seen, have borne the swine as a crest. Alas, how bitter and true a dream! He must have robbed her of her heart, that is her love, with his speech.
28.
" He holdeth her, woe is me, as thou too mayest plainly see. He alone preventeth her return; if that were not so, it was well within her power to return, nor would her aged father nor any other care have been an obstacle. Whereby I have been deceived whilst I believed in her and mocked the while I awaited her in vain.
29.
" Alas, Cressida, what subtle wit, what new pleasure, what alluring beauty, what wrath against me, what just anger, what fault of mine, or what cruel strangeness have been able to bring thy noble mind to another aim? Alas constancy, alas promise, alas faith and loyalty! Who hath cast you forth from the object of my affection?
30.
" Alas, why did I ever let thee go? Why did I believe in thy bad counsel? Why did I not bring thee away with me, as, alas, I had desire to do? Why did I not break the agreements made, as it came into my heart to do, when I saw thee surrendered? Thou wouldst not then have been disloyal and false, nor would I now be miserable.
31.
" I believed thee and I hoped in all certainty that thy faith would be sacred and thy words a most certain truth, a truth more open than the light of the sun to living men. But thou didst speak to me ambiguously and covertly, as it appeareth now in thy vanities. For not only hast thou not returned to me but thou hast fallen in love with another man.
32.
" What shall I do, Pandarus? I feel a great fire newly enkindled in my mind, such that I find no room in my thought for aught else. I desire to seize upon death with my hands, for it would be no sport to remain longer in such a life. Now that Fortune hath brought me to so evil a fate, dying will be a delight whenas living would be distress and despite. "
33.
When he had said this, he ran to a sharp knife hanging in the room and would have stabbed himself in the breast with it, had he not been restrained by Pandarus, who caught the wretched youth when he had seen him vent his despair in the usual words, with sighs and the shedding of tears.
34.
Troilus cried out: " Ah, hold me not, dear friend, I pray thee in the name of the gods; since I am minded to desire such a thing, let me carry out my cruel intent; unhand me, if thou wilt not first learn what manner of death that is to which I hasten; unhand me, Pandarus, for I shall strike thee, if thou dost not, and then I shall slay myself.
35.
" Let me take away from the world the most sorrowful body alive; let me in my death give contentment to our deceitful lady, who will some day go following my footsteps through the dark shades in the realm of sorrow; let me kill myself, for a languishing life is worse than death. " And saying this he strove again and again for the knife, which the other kept away from him.
36.
Pandarus still struggled with him, holding him straitly, and had it not been that Troilus was weak, the strength of Pandarus would have been overcome, such jerks did Troilus give, abetted by his mad rage. Yet in the end Pandarus removed the knife from the reach of his hand and made him against his will sit tearfully with him.
37.
And after bitter weeping he turned toward him in pity with such words as these: " Troilus, I have always had such faith in thy devotion to me that had I been bold enough to demand that thou shouldst kill thyself for me or for another, thou wouldst have done so immediately, as courageously as I would for thee in every case.
38.
" And thou hast been unwilling at my prayers to shun ugly and displeasing death, and had I not been stronger than thou, I should have seen thee die here. I did not believe that I should see thee fail me in the promises thou gavest me, although thou canst still make amends for this, if thou note with profit what I say.
39.
" As far as I can see, thou hast formed the opinion that Cressida is Diomedes'. And if I have well understood what thou hast said about it, nothing else giveth thee proof of that but the dream, a suspicion which thou dost entertain on account of the animal which woundeth with his tushes, and being unwilling to think more about it beforehand, thou dost desire to end wretched weeping with death.
40.
" And I told thee once before that it was folly to look too deeply into dreams. No one there was nor is nor ever will be who can with certainty well interpret what fancy can show forth with varied forms in the sleep of another, and many indeed have believed one thing while another opposite and contrary thereto came to pass.
41.
" So might it turn out in respect to this. Perhaps where you interpret the animal as hostile to thy love, it will be beneficial to thee and will do thee no harm, as thou thinkest. Doth it seem to thee an honorable deed for any man — to say nothing of one of royal line, as thou art — to kill himself with his own hands, or utter such shrieks on love's account?
42.
" This thing should have been done in quite another way than thou didst it. First was it desirable to find out cunningly, as thou couldst, whether it were true, and if thou hadst found it false, and yet not entirely so, then shouldst thou have raised thyself above faith in dreams and their deceit, which are harmful to thee.
43.
" If thou shouldst find it true that thou hast been abandoned by Cressida for another, thou shouldst not with all thy mind take deliberate counsel that there is nothing for thee to do but die; for I do not know by whom it was ever held in anything but blame. But 'twere well hadst thou taken thought to make mock of her as she hath made mock of thee.
44.
" And if indeed heavy thoughts drive thee to death to feel a lesser grief, that which thou didst choose should not have been chosen, for other way there was to accomplish such a wish. Verily thy wicked thoughts should have shown it thee, since the Greeks are before the threshold of the gate of Troy, and they will slay thee and ask no pardon.
45.
" So then we shall go together in arms against the Greeks whenever thou mayest wish to die; here shall we fight against them as honored youths, and like men shall we die avenged in slaying them, nor shall I forbid it thee at their hands certainly, provided I perceive that a just cause moveth thee to desire death in such fashion. "
46.
Troilus, who still trembled in hot rage, listened to him as well as his grief might permit, and when he had heard him to the end, he wept as one still in distress. He turned to him, who stood waiting to see whether he was diverted from his mad intent, and in this wise spake to him through his tears, ever interrupting his speech with sobs:
47.
" Pandarus, live sure of this, that I am entirely thine in all that I can be. Living and dying will not be hard for me so long as thy pleasure is done, and if a little while ago, when thou didst belabor me for my own welfare, I was beyond the reach of wise judgment on account of my madness, thy prudence must not wonder at it.
48.
" Into such error sudden belief in the wretched dream made me come. Now in less angry mood do I see clearly my great delusion and my mad desire. But if thou dost see by what proof I can perceive the truth of this suspicion, do thou tell it me, I pray thee in the name of the gods, for I am confused and by myself I see it not. "
49.
To whom Pandarus said: " In my opinion she is to be tested by writing, since if she careth no longer for thee, I do not believe that we shall have response from her, and if we have it, we may see clearly by the written words whether thou art to have further hope of her return, or whether she hath become enamored of another man.
50.
" Since she departed, never hast thou written to her nor she to thee. And she might have such cause for her tarrying that thou wouldst say that she was right indeed to stay, and it might be such that thou wouldst take timidity to task rather than any other offense. Write to her then, for if thou doest it, thou wilt see clearly what thou art in search of. "
51.
Already was Troilus disgusted with himself; therefore he believed him readily. And having withdrawn apart, he commanded that writing materials should be given him at once. And it was done. Wherefore after reflecting somewhat over what he ought to write, he began, not as one mad, and wrote without delay to his lady. And in this wise he said:
52.
" Youthful lady, to whom Love gave me and whose he holdeth me and, while I am alive, will ever hold me with faith unbroken, since thou in thy departure didst leave here in greater misery than any man believeth, my soul dismayed, it commendeth itself to thy great excellence and cannot send thee other salutation.
53.
" Although thou art become almost a Greek, my letter will not fail to be received by thee, since in a short time one forgetteth not so long a love as that which holdeth and hath held our friendship together, which, I pray, may be eternal. Therefore take it and read it even to the end.
54.
" If the servant might in any case complain of his lord, perhaps I should have reason to complain of thee, considering the faith I gave to thy devoted affection and the many promises and the oath thou madest to every god that thou wouldst return by the tenth day — and thou hast not yet made thy return within forty.
55.
" But since it is fitting that all that pleaseth thee, pleaseth me, I dare not complain, but as humbly as I can, I write thee my mind, more glowing with love than ever before, and likewise my ardent longing and my life as well, desirous, as I am, to know what thy life hath been since thou wert sent in exchange among the Greeks.
56.
" It seemeth to me, if I have not misinterpreted what is passing in thy mind, that the flatteries of thy father have had much influence upon thee, or a new lover hath entered thy mind, or, although for an old man to become generous is a phenomenon rarely remarked among us, that the avaricious Calchas may have turned liberal, though the intent in thy heart led me to the contrary belief in thy last and bitter plaint.
57.
" And then thou hast tarried so far beyond our proposal, when thou wert according to thy promises under obligation to return so soon. If it were the first or the third reason, thou shouldst have made it plain to me, for thou knowest that I do and did agree to what thou didst wish. For I should have borne it patiently, however much grief it had caused me.
58.
" But much I fear that a new love may be the cause of thy long staying. And if this be true, it would be a greater pain than any I have yet experienced. And if my ardor hath deserved it, thou shouldst not now have reason to know of it. On this account I live wretchedly in such fear that it robbeth me of pleasure and hope.
59.
" This fear maketh me utter heart-rending cries, when I would wish to be at my ease. This fear alone playeth the conqueror in my thoughts. Wherefore I know not what to do. This fear, alas and alack, slayeth me, and I have neither the knowledge nor the power to protect myself from it. This fear hath brought me to such a pass that I am useful neither to Venus nor to Mars.
60.
" My grieving eyes, after thy departure, never left off weeping; eat or drink, rest or sleep I could not thereafter. But always have I uttered bitter moans; and what could most often have been heard upon my lips was the constant naming of thy name and calling upon thee and upon love for comfort. On account of this only I believe that I am not dead.
61.
" Well mayest thou give thought, alas, to what I should do, were I certain of what I suspect. Surely I believe that I would take my life, if I were convinced of such defection on thy part. And to what purpose should I live on in this world, had I lost hope of thee, my heart's desire, whom I await for my only peace in this tearful life of mine?
62.
" Sweet songs and honest gatherings, birds and dogs and going about taking my pleasure, lovely ladies, temples, and great feasts, in search of which I once was wont to go, one and all I now avoid. Alas, they are hateful to me whenever I take thought that thou, my sweet felicity and my sovereign hope, now dwellest far away from here.
63.
" The bright colored flowers and the soft grass, which make the fields of quite a thousand colors, cannot charm my soul, constrained, O lady, on thine account, by the ardors of love. That part of heaven alone delighteth me under which I believe thou now dwellest, and upon that I gaze and say: " That part now seeth her from whom I hope reward."
64.
" I gaze upon the mountains that stand round about, and the place that holdeth thee hidden from me, and sighing I say: " They have, though they know it not, the love-inspiring sight of the fair eyes for which I grieve far from them in a very distressful life. Now would I were one of them, or would I might now dwell upon one of them so that I might see it."
65.
" I behold the waters descending to the sea, near which thou now dwellest, and I say: " Those waters after some flowing will come thither where the divine light of mine eyes hath gone to stay and will be seen by her." Alas, wretched life of mine! Why can I not go in their place as they do?
66.
" If the sun setteth, I watch him with envy, because it seemeth to me that enamored of my joy — that is, urged on by desire of thee — he returneth more quickly than he is wont, to see thee again. And after some sighing I begin to hate it and my sorrows increase. Wherefore, in fear lest he may take thee from me, I pray that night may fall again quickly.
67.
" Hearing sometimes men name the place where thou dost dwell or sometimes seeing one who cometh from there, rekindleth the fire in my heart, worn out by too much sorrowing, and it seemeth that I feel some secret joy in my pleasure-bound soul and to myself I say: " Would I might go from here to that place whence he cometh, O sweet my desire."
68.
" But what doest thou among armed knights, among warlike men and the noise of war, under the tents in the midst of ambushes, often dismayed by the terrors of the clank of arms and of the storms along the coast near which thou dwellest now? Is it not, my lady, a grievous sorrow to thee, who wert wont to lead so pleasant a life in Troy?
69.
" I have indeed compassion upon thee more than upon myself, who am the properer object thereof. Do thou then return and keep thy promise wholly before I fall into a worse condition. I pardon thee every wound inflicted upon me by thy long tarrying and I ask no amends for it, except the sight of thy fair face, in which alone is my paradise.
70.
" Ah, I pray thee by that desire which once seized me for thee and thee for me, and likewise by that sweetness which did equally enkindle our hearts, and moreover by that beauty which thou dost possess, gracious lady mine, by the sighs and piteous laments, so many in number, that once we made together,
71.
" By the sweet kisses and by that embrace which once held us so close bound, by the great joy and the sweet converse that made our delight the happier, by that faith as well which it once pleased thee to give to amorous words, when we parted the last time and came not together again thereafter,
72.
" I pray that thou wilt remember me and return. And if perchance thou art prevented, write to me who after the ten days hath hindered thee from making thy return here. Ah, let it not be grievous to thy sweet speech; in this at least content my life, and tell me if I am ever to have more hope in thee, sweet my love.
73.
" If thou wilt give me hope, I will wait, although it is beyond measure grievous to me; if thou wilt take it from me, I will slay myself and put an end to my hard life. But though the harm is mine, let the shame be thine, for thou wilt have brought a subject of thine, who hath committed no fault, to so inglorious a death.
74.
" Pardon if in setting down the words I have failed in the order, and if perchance thou dost behold the letter that I send covered with stains. For my pain is the great cause both of the one and of the other, since I live and abide in tears, nor doth aught that happens check them. Therefore these so frequent spots are grievous tears.
75.
" And more I say not, although there still remaineth much for me to say, except " do thou come." Ah, bring it about, my soul, for thou canst if only thou dost apply thereto all the wit thou art master of. Alas, for thou wilt not know me, so am I changed in my malignant sorrows. Nor do I say more to thee, save only the gods be with thee, and make thee soon to be with me. "
76.
Then did he give it sealed to Pandarus, who dispatched it. But the reply was vainly awaited by them for many days. Wherefore the more than human grief of Troilus persisted and he was confirmed in his opinion of his insane dream, not however to such a degree that he ceased to hope that Cressida might indeed yet love him.
77.
From day to day his grief waxed greater with the decline of hope. Wherefore he had to take to his bed, for he was exhausted. But indeed by chance there came to visit him Deiphoebus, for whom he had much love. Not seeing him in his woe, he began to say in a low voice: " Alas, Cressida, make me not to die in such grief. "
78.
Deiphoebus then perceived what it was that constrained him, and affecting not to have heard, said: " Brother, why dost thou not now comfort thy sad soul? The gay season cometh and maketh itself fair; the meadows grow green again and afford a pleasing prospect of themselves; and the day hath already come when the term of the truce hath reached its end,
79.
" So that in the usual way we shall be able to make our valor felt by the Greeks. Dost thou no more desire to come in arms with us, for thou wert wont to be the first in dealing blows and as a warrior to be so feared by them that thou didst ever cause them all to flee before thee? Hector hath already given orders to be with him tomorrow outside the moat. "
80.
Just as the hungry lion in search of prey that resteth when weary, suddenly starteth up, shaking his mane, if he perceiveth stag, bull, or other thing, desiring only that, so doth Troilus, when he heareth the doubtful battle begin again, vigor suddenly coursing through his inflamed heart.
81.
And raising his head he said: " Brother mine, in truth I am a trifle weak, but such desire have I for war that I shall soon rise with full vigor from this bed. And I swear to thee, if ever I fought with hard and stern heart against the Greeks, now shall I fight more than ever I did before, in so great hatred do I hold them. "
82.
Deiphoebus well understood what these words meant and much did he urge him on, telling him that they would await him there but that for his comfort he should not now delay longer. And they bade each other farewell. Troilus remained with his usual woes and Deiphoebus made swiftly away to his brothers and related the whole matter to them.
83.
This they readily believed because of the behavior already noticed. And in order not to make him sad on that account they took counsel together to make no mention of it and to give him relief. For they immediately sent messages to their ladies that each of them should go and visit him and make entertainment for him with melodies and singers, so that he should forget his irksome life.
84.
In but a little time the chamber was filled with ladies, and music, and song. On one side of him was Polyxena, who seemed an angel in looks; on the other sat the fair Helen; Cassandra, also, stood in front of them; Hecuba was there and Andromache, and many sisters-in-law and female relatives were gathered together.
85.
Each one comforted him as far as lay within her power, and someone asked him how he felt. He answered not, but regarded now one and now another, and in his faithful mind held remembrance of his Cressida. Nor more than with sighs did he disclose this, and yet some measure of delight did he feel both because of the singing and their beauty.
86.
Cassandra, who had heard by chance what her brother Deiphoebus had said, almost as if she were making fun of him because he appeared so dispirited and wore so rueful a look, said: " Brother, by thee to thy great malease was felt, as I learn, the accursed love, by which we are all to be undone, as we may see if we but wish to.
87.
" And since, albeit, matters were thus to be, would that thou wert enamored of a noble lady, instead of having brought thyself to wasting away on account of the daughter of a wicked priest, a man of evil life and of small importance. Here is the honored son of a great king who leadeth his life in sorrow and weeping because Cressida hath departed from him. "
88.
Troilus was disturbed when he heard his sister, both because he heard dispraise of her whom he loved most and because perceiving that his secret had come to her ears — not knowing how, — he thought that she must know it through the oracles of the gods. Nevertheless he said: " It might appear true, were I to keep silent. "
89.
And he began: " Cassandra, thy desire to guess at every secret more than other people, with thine imaginings, hath already many times caused thee sorrow. Perhaps it would be wiser for thee to hold thy peace than to speak thus at random. Thou dost cast thy speech before all, nor do I know what thou meanest about Cressida.
90.
" Wherefore when I see thee speak too much, I have a mind to do what I have not yet done, that is, to reveal thy ignorance. Thou sayest that excessive love for Cressida maketh me pale, and thou dost wish to turn it to my great shame. But thus far thine Apollo, the god thou hast mocked, hath not clearly shown thee the truth respecting this matter.
91.
" Cressida never pleased me by such love, nor do I believe that there is or ever was anyone in the world who would dare maintain this lie. And if, as thou dost keep saying, it were true, I swear by my faith I would never have let her go hence, unless Priam had slain me first.
92.
" Not that I believe he would have permitted it, as he permitted Paris to abduct Helen, of which we now have such reason to be proud. Therefore check thy ready tongue. But let me suppose indeed that it were established that, as thou sayest, I were in this grievous sorrow on her account, why is not Cressida in every respect worthy of any great man, of whatsoever sort thou wishest?
93.
" I do not wish to speak of her beauty, which, in the judgment of every man, surpasseth that of the highest, since the fallen flower is soon brown. But let us come simply to the matter of her nobility, which thou dost so much disparage, and now let everyone admit the truth, if I tell it, and should another deny it, I pray him to set forth the reason why.
94.
" Nobility is to be found wherever virtue is. This no one who understandeth it, will deny. And all virtues are to be seen in her if the effect may be argued from the cause. But also separately must one arrive at such felicity, just to satisfy this woman who speaketh of everybody without knowing what it is she chattereth of.
95.
" If perchance mine own eyesight and what others say of her deceiveth me not, none more chaste than she will ever be known or hath ever been. And if I hear the truth, unassuming and modest she is beyond others, and certainly her appearance showeth it. And likewise she is silent and retiring where it is fitting, which in woman is a sign of noble nature.
96.
" In her behavior appeareth her discretion and in her speech, which is so sound and judicious and full of all reason. And this year I saw in part how much she had of it in the excuse she made for the perfidy of her father. And in her weeping she gave evidence with eloquent words of her high-minded and very sincere scorn.
97.
" Her ways are very open and therefore meseemeth they need no defense either by me or by another. And I do not believe there are any knights in this city, be there as many courteous ones as you will, whom she would not mate in the middle of the chessboard in courtesy and liberality, provided only there should suffice her the means to do it.
98.
" And this I know because I have already been where she hath honored me and others so highly that on royal thrones sit many who would have experienced a feeling akin to embarrassment at it and who, like base men, would have left them in neglect. If she hath always been modest here, let her praiseworthy renown declare it.
99.
" What more, Lady Cassandra, will ye now demand in a woman? Her blood to be royal? All those upon whom you see crowns or scepters or imperial robes are not kings. Already many times have ye heard, a king is he who is worthy for his virtue, not for his power. And if this lady might, dost thou not believe that she would rule as well as thou?
100.
" Much better than thou would she wear it, I mean, if thou understandest me, the crown. Nor would she be, as thou art, a silly and conceited woman, who snappest at every person. Would the gods had made me worthy to have her for my lady so that, as the report circulateth among you, I might hold in the highest praise what the Lady Cassandra holdeth in dispraise.
101.
" Now be off with a curse to you; since ye cannot talk with reason, spin. Correct your ugliness and let be the virtue of others. Lo here a new sorrow and a new misfortune that a mad woman for vanity's sake is minded to disparage what deserveth praise, and if she be not listened to, it grieveth her. "
102.
Cassandra held her peace and fain would she have been at that moment elsewhere. She mingled with the ladies without saying aught else. And when she was gone from his presence, she repaired straight to the royal palace. Nor did he ever again give her opportunity to visit him there. She was not so willingly seen and listened to in that place.
103.
Hecuba, Helen, and the others commended what Troilus had said. And after a while they all did comfort him in pleasing wise with words and with mirth and with sport. And then they all went forth together, each one returning to her house. And after that they did often visit him again as he lay weak upon his couch.
104.
With the continuance of his grief Troilus became strong enough to bear it patiently. And also on account of the ardent desire he had of displaying his valor against the Greeks, he shortly recovered the strength he had lost through the too bitter pains he had endured.
105.
And besides that Cressida had written to him and explained how she loved him more than ever. And many false excuses had she set down for her so long tarrying without return and requested still another delay for her home-coming, which was never to be, and he had granted it to her, hoping to see her again, but he knew not when.
106.
And then in many battles fought with his adversaries he showed how great was his worth in arms. And his sighs and the other bitter laments which he had had to utter on account of these struggles, he sold to the enemy dear beyond all thought, though not so dear as his wrath desired. But afterward death, which dissolveth everything, set at peace love and the strife which love bringeth.
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