Classic Poem

On the Supposed Author of a Late Poem " In Defense of Satire " . (1677)

To rack and torture thy unmeaning brain
In satire's praise to a low untuned strain
In thee was most impertinent and vain,
When in thy person we more clearly see
That satire's of divine authority,
For God made one on man when he made thee,
To show there are some men as there are apes,
Framed for mere sport, who differ but in shapes.
In thee are all those contradictions joined
That make an ass prodigious and refined.
A lump deformed and shapeless wert thou born,
Begot in love's despite and nature's scorn,
And art grown up the most ungraceful wight,
Harsh to the ear and hideous to the sight;
Yet love's thy business, beauty thy delight.
Curse on that silly hour that first inspired
Thy madness to pretend to be admired,
To paint thy grisly face, to dance, to dress,
And all those awkward follies that express
Thy loathsome love and filthy daintiness;
Who needs will be an ugly beau garçon ,
Spit at and shunned by ev'ry girl in town,
Where dreadfully love's scarecrow thou art placed
To fright the tender flock that long to taste;
While ev'ry coming maid, when you appear,
Starts back for shame and straight turns chaste for fear,
For none so poor or prostitute have proved,
Where you made love, t'endure to be beloved.
'Twere labor lost, or else I would advise,
But thy half wit will ne'er let thee be wise.
Half witty and half mad and scarce half brave,
Half honest (which is very much a knave) —
Made up of all these halves, thou canst not pass
For anything entirely but an ass!