Classic Poem

There was a young Lordling whose wits were all toss'd up
Seventeen times as high as the Moon,
What was his object I could not imagine
But in his hand he carried a broom —

" Young Lordling, young Lordling, young Lordling says I "
" Why have you toss'd up your wits so high? "
" I am going (he cries) with my purse & my broom "
" To sweep all the members out of this room " —

" Young Lordling, young Lordling, young Lordling I cried
" Do you think on its ruin the house will decide?
" But his wits were a wool-gathering up in the sky
" And " union!, a union!," was all he could cry —

I watch'd in the lobby to look at the fun
For the sweeping already I saw was begun
But the speaker was stubborn & stuck in his chair
Nor the broom nor the purse could do anything there.

" Come sweep out, come brush out this troublesome mace
" The Lordling exclaimed to his servants in place
" Tother house is half scoured & the Bishops, good men
" Have given us their cassocks to wipe it up clean " —

But the treasury bench was in strange hubaboo
And Parnell look'd buff & Fitzgerald look'd blue
" Who cares says the Lordling (& pushed them away)
" There is Daly & Corry will serve Castlereagh " —

(So Betty with mop & fools head of her own
From its delicate stand the rich china has thrown
Nor dreams of its value but runs to her shelf
And claps in its place some clumsy coarse delf)

See Bury & Monk Mason obeying their Lord
With tears in their eyes hobble off at his word
" I want no advice; give your vote, take your pay
" Hold your tongues you old fools & get out of my way " —

Consistency French he could hardly get out
For light as a feather he floated about
And when he had got him up close to the door
A puff from behind blew him back on the floor —

The Syllabub youth had prov'd near as light
But gold well applied had just steadied the Knight
And the place of commissions well could dispense
With the ballast he wanted of truth & of sense.

" To clean out these stables my dear says Sr Boyle
" For a ship like yourself is a mighty great toil
" It's a shame & a sin too to see such a sight!
" In so dirty a work you should take such delight!
" But by jasms my Ld if you wish to succeed
" Bid the nabe little Liffy run thro us with speed —

" Twill save the whole nation a great many pound Sir
" And your English will laugh when they hear how we're drown'ds
" And as we shall be English then we shall laugh too
( " The best argument that for the union I know)
" Besides that another advantage is plain
" It will wash out the passage at last thro' Fleet Lane.

But Hibernia at last was arous'd by the noise
What a rout there is here with these troublesome boys
" Drive out that young fool who destroys my estate
" Ere my house is in ruins break his broom o'er his pate.

That business said Caulfeild shall quickly be done
And the spirit of Charlemont spoke thro his son
Your favorite youths shall but lend us a hand
And his broom & himself shall be put to a stand —