Two Rooms
60 " Suite number 60 consists of an extra large room on the quiet side of the building, with private bath and extra service. The rate is $15 per day. "
Hospital Catalogue
There was a bustle in the ward the day he came,
A smell of cold furs, purr of limousines,
A sharp-heeled chauffeur carrying valises
And staggering flunkey feet supporting him.
The nurse was excited. " Who d'you think's in 60?
" Bertram C. Pick, you know, the Ice Trust man.
" My, you just ought to see his overcoat —
" Real sable. And the Mayor sent some orchids ...
" One of the girls went in to see if he wanted anything,
" And he just opened his eyes and swore at her ...
" His night nurse is a friend of mine, Belle Stevens
" Her name is; she says he's as democratic
" As if he didn't have ten million dollars ... "
" Bright's, " my doctor told me, looking serious.
" Too much drink, strong cigars — er — no exercise.
" The cares and responsibilities of a great corporation ...
" A big man, splendid advertising for the hospital —
" Not much hope — too bad — a loss to the country ... "
There were two world-known specialists in attendance —
One cabled for across three thousand sea-miles —
The house-physician and two jealous internes.
They gave out hourly bulletins to the papers,
And three reporters camped out in the waiting-room ...
The orderly was aglow with reflected greatness.
" All swelled-up and yallow-faced he lays there,
" A short fat man, rolling around and grunting.
" The head-nurse says, " Would you like a private nurse, sir?
" " Thirty dollars a week — " And he breaks in,
" " Gimme a couple. I don't care what they cost!"
" Like it was nothing. The paper says he's got
" A steam yacht, private car, and he don't know how many automobiles;
" A house in New York, and places in Newport and Florida ...
" Well, one thing's sure, he can't take 'em with him
" Where he's going. But if I had 'em, I should worry! "
The last few days his wife and daughter sat
Rustling silks and whispering, outside my door ...
" Why can't I? " hissed a hard, querulous young voice.
" The Bevins went abroad when Jasper died,
" And nobody thought anything about it —
" I'm sick of staying around here all my life
" Without enough money to do what I please;
" I'm going to travel now and have some fun! "
Toward the end, as he twisted gasping on his bed
In that quiet room, with his special nurses, and orderlies,
And all that science can do, to ease his body,
And orchids to ease his soul, and telegrams and cables
From kings, presidents, parliaments, stock-exchanges —
I wondered if his burning kidney reminded him
Of that not summer, when the fevered slums
Spewed out dead babies, and he made his pile ...
I knew him only by his ludicrous screaming —
Four times a day, three times a night —
Before they punched him with the hypodermic.
" O my God, I can't stand it! O my God, give me something! "
And then the nurse came grumbling in
Scolding, " You ought to be ashamed of yourself — "
And the bitter morphine dragged his yelling down
Dissonantly to a groan, a mumble, —
The doctor said,
" A most interesting case.
" An acute cystitis, long neglected,
" Infected bladder, ureters, kidneys — in fact
" The entire superpubics — you wouldn't understand.
" Possibly a year's rest in a warm climate
" Might have cleared up all the symptoms.
" Yes, now there's nothing to be done
" But morphine injections to dull the pain ...
" How long? O consciousness will probably
" Persist six weeks — and by that time the sedative
" Will be powerless ... and then two weeks coma ...
" It is extraordinarily virulent. I've never seen
" Such rapid progress ... Kill him? Ha, ha.
" Well no, really. It's our duty, you know.
" To preserve life as long as possible — and besides,
" The last stages are particularly interesting ... "
The nurse said
" Those kind of patients are a bother.
" They make so much noise nobody else can sleep,
" And the whole ward's got to tend to them.
" A man as sick as that ought to have a private nurse;
" Well, if he can't afford it, he oughtn't to be here
" Spending four dollars a day. There's the public ward,
" That's free, and as good a place to die as this ...
" Yes, a wife. She was here at first,
" Found out how long it would last, and paid
" Five weeks in advance. Said she couldn't stay
" But had to go home and work for the rest
" Before it was due. That's what I call funny! "
The orderly said,
" He puts his finger on the bell
" And keeps it there; and if I don't come he hollers.
" Last time I got mad. " What in hell" I says
" " Do you think I am? Your private valley?" I says ...
" When he come here he had on overhalls,
" A brick-layer, I think he was — can't even talk
" Good grammar ... Say, you ought to see him stripped;
" Legs like tooth-picks, and the comicalest thin tail ...
" Say, you know why he don't take no baths?
" Because we're scared he'll go down through the plughole
" And stop up the pipes — pretty good, eh? "
Well, he staid in 53 — so his wife was working.
And before the dope stopped acting, he was so weak
You could hardly hear his wheezing moan at all,
Although you knew his soul was screaming always ...
And then even that stopped, and the nurse signed
Relievedly, " Thank heavens, " she said, " that's over ...
" Did you hear us girls all laughing this morning?
" The new patient in 45 — he's the funniest man
" I overheard talk. The first thing he says to me,
" When I put the thermometer into his mouth, was
" Don't you go off to the movies now!" "
But all I could think of was death in 53
Without love, or battle, or any glorious suddenness ...
Hospital Catalogue
There was a bustle in the ward the day he came,
A smell of cold furs, purr of limousines,
A sharp-heeled chauffeur carrying valises
And staggering flunkey feet supporting him.
The nurse was excited. " Who d'you think's in 60?
" Bertram C. Pick, you know, the Ice Trust man.
" My, you just ought to see his overcoat —
" Real sable. And the Mayor sent some orchids ...
" One of the girls went in to see if he wanted anything,
" And he just opened his eyes and swore at her ...
" His night nurse is a friend of mine, Belle Stevens
" Her name is; she says he's as democratic
" As if he didn't have ten million dollars ... "
" Bright's, " my doctor told me, looking serious.
" Too much drink, strong cigars — er — no exercise.
" The cares and responsibilities of a great corporation ...
" A big man, splendid advertising for the hospital —
" Not much hope — too bad — a loss to the country ... "
There were two world-known specialists in attendance —
One cabled for across three thousand sea-miles —
The house-physician and two jealous internes.
They gave out hourly bulletins to the papers,
And three reporters camped out in the waiting-room ...
The orderly was aglow with reflected greatness.
" All swelled-up and yallow-faced he lays there,
" A short fat man, rolling around and grunting.
" The head-nurse says, " Would you like a private nurse, sir?
" " Thirty dollars a week — " And he breaks in,
" " Gimme a couple. I don't care what they cost!"
" Like it was nothing. The paper says he's got
" A steam yacht, private car, and he don't know how many automobiles;
" A house in New York, and places in Newport and Florida ...
" Well, one thing's sure, he can't take 'em with him
" Where he's going. But if I had 'em, I should worry! "
The last few days his wife and daughter sat
Rustling silks and whispering, outside my door ...
" Why can't I? " hissed a hard, querulous young voice.
" The Bevins went abroad when Jasper died,
" And nobody thought anything about it —
" I'm sick of staying around here all my life
" Without enough money to do what I please;
" I'm going to travel now and have some fun! "
Toward the end, as he twisted gasping on his bed
In that quiet room, with his special nurses, and orderlies,
And all that science can do, to ease his body,
And orchids to ease his soul, and telegrams and cables
From kings, presidents, parliaments, stock-exchanges —
I wondered if his burning kidney reminded him
Of that not summer, when the fevered slums
Spewed out dead babies, and he made his pile ...
I knew him only by his ludicrous screaming —
Four times a day, three times a night —
Before they punched him with the hypodermic.
" O my God, I can't stand it! O my God, give me something! "
And then the nurse came grumbling in
Scolding, " You ought to be ashamed of yourself — "
And the bitter morphine dragged his yelling down
Dissonantly to a groan, a mumble, —
The doctor said,
" A most interesting case.
" An acute cystitis, long neglected,
" Infected bladder, ureters, kidneys — in fact
" The entire superpubics — you wouldn't understand.
" Possibly a year's rest in a warm climate
" Might have cleared up all the symptoms.
" Yes, now there's nothing to be done
" But morphine injections to dull the pain ...
" How long? O consciousness will probably
" Persist six weeks — and by that time the sedative
" Will be powerless ... and then two weeks coma ...
" It is extraordinarily virulent. I've never seen
" Such rapid progress ... Kill him? Ha, ha.
" Well no, really. It's our duty, you know.
" To preserve life as long as possible — and besides,
" The last stages are particularly interesting ... "
The nurse said
" Those kind of patients are a bother.
" They make so much noise nobody else can sleep,
" And the whole ward's got to tend to them.
" A man as sick as that ought to have a private nurse;
" Well, if he can't afford it, he oughtn't to be here
" Spending four dollars a day. There's the public ward,
" That's free, and as good a place to die as this ...
" Yes, a wife. She was here at first,
" Found out how long it would last, and paid
" Five weeks in advance. Said she couldn't stay
" But had to go home and work for the rest
" Before it was due. That's what I call funny! "
The orderly said,
" He puts his finger on the bell
" And keeps it there; and if I don't come he hollers.
" Last time I got mad. " What in hell" I says
" " Do you think I am? Your private valley?" I says ...
" When he come here he had on overhalls,
" A brick-layer, I think he was — can't even talk
" Good grammar ... Say, you ought to see him stripped;
" Legs like tooth-picks, and the comicalest thin tail ...
" Say, you know why he don't take no baths?
" Because we're scared he'll go down through the plughole
" And stop up the pipes — pretty good, eh? "
Well, he staid in 53 — so his wife was working.
And before the dope stopped acting, he was so weak
You could hardly hear his wheezing moan at all,
Although you knew his soul was screaming always ...
And then even that stopped, and the nurse signed
Relievedly, " Thank heavens, " she said, " that's over ...
" Did you hear us girls all laughing this morning?
" The new patient in 45 — he's the funniest man
" I overheard talk. The first thing he says to me,
" When I put the thermometer into his mouth, was
" Don't you go off to the movies now!" "
But all I could think of was death in 53
Without love, or battle, or any glorious suddenness ...
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