The Wastrel

Once , when I was little, as the summer night was falling,
—Among the purple upland fields I lost my barefoot way;
The road to home was hidden fast, and frightful shadows, crawling
—Along the sky-line, swallowed up the last kind light of day;
——And then I seemed to hear you
——In the twilight, and be near you;
—Seemed to hear your dear voice calling—
—Through the meadows, calling, calling—
——And I followed and I found you,
——Flung my tired arms around you,
And rested on the mother-breast, returned, tired out from play.

Down the days from that day, though I trod strange paths unheeding,
—Though I chased the jack-o'-lanterns of so many maddened years,
Though I never looked behind me, where the home-lights were receding,
—Though I never looked enough ahead to ken the Inn of Fears;
——Still I knew your heart was near me,
——That your ear was strained to hear me,
—That your love would need no pleading
—To forgive me, but was pleading
——Of its self that, in disaster,
——I should run to you the faster
And be sure that I was dearer for your sacrifice of tears.

Now on life's last Summertime the long last dusk is falling,
—And I, who trod one way so long, can tread no other way
Until at death's dim crossroads I watch, hesitant, the crawling
—Night-passages that maze me with the ultimate dismay.
——Then when Death and Doubt shall blind me—
——Even then—I know you'll find me:
—I shall hear you, Mother, calling—
—Hear you calling—calling—calling:
——I shall fight and follow—find you
——Though the grave-clothes swathe and bind you,
And I know your love will answer: “Here's my laddie home from play!”
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