Classic Poem

Why repeat? I heard you the first time.
You can lead a horse to water, if you've got the horse.
The rooster and the horse agreed not to step on each other's feet.
The caterpillar is a worm in a raccoon coat going for a college education.
The cockroach is always wrong when it argues with the chicken.
If I hadn't done it Monday somebody else would have done it Tuesday.
Money is like manure—good only when spread around.
You're such a first-class liar I'll take a chance with you.
A short horse is soon curried.
A still pig drinks the swill.
Small potatoes and few in a hill.
A fat man on a bony horse: “I feed myself—others feed the horse.”
No peace on earth with the women, no life anywhere without them.
Some men dress quick, others take as much time as a woman.
“You're a liar.” “Surely not if you say so.”
He tried to walk on both sides of the street at once.
He tried to tear the middle of the street in two.
“When is a man intoxicated?” “When he tries to kiss the bartender good night.”
“He says he'll kick me the next time we meet. What'll I do?” “Sit down.”
He's as handy as that bird they call the elephant.
Now that's settled and out of the way what are you going to do next?
“From here on,” said the driver at an imaginary line near the foothills of the Ozarks, “the hills don't get any higher but the hollers get deeper and deeper.”
So slick he was his feet slipped out from under him.
The ground flew up and hit him in the face.
Trade it for a dog, drown the dog, and you'll be rid of both of them.
There'll be many a dry eye at his funeral.
“Which way to the post office, boy?” “I don't know.” “You don't know much, do you?” “No, but I ain't lost.”