Fear of Drowning

it's almost more than I can bare –
trying to stand naked
in my own mind, in the ether
the binary of either or
commitment to
one foot in,
I get into the car
tiny desk soundtracks
your profile in the dark
still something too much
too light to share
the passing shadows
I stare sideways
in case I can see
what I cannot put my finger on
whatever lives between us
is a breathing apparatus
for the sudden sea that shows itself
there is no pulsing gray noise reminder
just questions cast
we can stare with magnified eyes
drop heavy, silvery schools of meaning
our words floating in the night