Love in the Raw

I could walk away with this weak-willed puny attempt at loving you.
And I could walk away with the sickest nauseating feeling in the back of my throat....
If I wanted misery I could.
If it weren't for these fettered scars on this wounded heart of mine
That keep clutching to the tatters of this relationship we shared
I could walk away, unscathed, pretending I never felt one iota of love
Pretending it wasn't the same me inside that dearly, so much cared
That I would have severed my entire being from this earth if it meant being without you.
My love, dear truly in spirit, heart I miss you
I'm afraid this feeling is less clinical than I first presumed it to be
I played it off as a casual connection to hide the deeper feelings
So it might not hurt as much to see you abandoning me
My cynical mind profusely reeked the wretched acid
Filling my thoughts with memories of other ones who'd gone before
I was certain you would leave, so instead I pushed you away
Pretending to be cruel so you wouldn't want me anymore.
And now...what must be said in order to make you stay
Might come out sounding less like the truth and more like a lie
But not to lose you I just might have to love you
And if you don't love me back I just might have to die.