Nail Ails

Misshapen, lengths uneven, cuticles awry,
So unattractive I could cry.
Should I try vitamin E ….. eat more Jello?
I just don’t know
What to do about my fingernails.
I could buy fake nails to fix a few,
Or paint them in “Madison Mauvenue”
But, why do I care? They’re not as important as my hair.
But what if I should wave my hands in greeting?
The detection would be fleeting
Of ugly, broken, sometimes bleeding
Nails in dire need of treating.
I can’t bear the thought of showing them off
Unless I break down and cough
Up the price of a manicure
To come to the aid of my poor, homely stubs.
A manicure……that’s what I’ll do, and then I’ll resolve to be true.
I’ll polish, buff, shine and prime,
And in time I will be proud to wine and dine and find
Pleasure in showing off my fine, fabulous fingernails.