Not Yet

by Mel V.

I cannot leave this place

This place I call Home.

Not yet, not now,

I'm not ready to be alone!

Can I help it if I regress?

Clinging to what I know,

It stabs me like a double-edged sword

And pierces me with a poisoned arrow.

These people I know-

The ones I love and need-

I can't help but reach out

Out of a hunger for love, and selfish greed.

I'm searching for an anchor,

A bastion during this crazy time.

Something sane to keep me rooted,

Something that's meant to keep me in line.

I hear the wizened words

And I want to accept their challenge,

But each letter hurts,

Painting fury: red and orange.

My emotions dance in my head

A waltz becomes a rioting rave.

How much longer, how much more

Until my little fantasy caves?

I want to live in the moment

Yet, each time, something holds me back.

Will my hasty need for pleasure-

Pleasant pink- become riddled with bullet black?

There must've been a misprint,

A mistake in the Book of Life

Because I'm meant to have my fantasies

Not this confusion and seeds of strife.

I'm supposed to live free as a gypsy

Travelling the world; seeing wonders.

I'm meant to capture galaxies of souls

With my naked hand, by pen and paper.

I'm supposed to find my True Love

My courageous Knight in Shining Armor.

Riding to my rescue upon a noble steed-

Handsome, quick-witted, a natural charmer.

But no. I sit here. Wishing upon a star.

Heart swollen with hopeless repinings,

Head filled with impossible and exhilarating dreams.

The moonlight illuminates my tears like diamonds- see them shining!

I sit and I hunger for these desires-

Dreaming is all I do.

It's easier to fill my head with fancies

Than to cry endless seas of blue.

Distraction is the best plan I've conjured-

Busy work to distract the mind and heart.

To ease the pain of the spreading poison

And perfect my broken art. 


251st Weekly Poetry Contest
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