VERSE

When I was young I studied hard and thirsted after knowledge,
And often burned the midnight oil so I could get to college.
They told me my fine education would help improve my situation;
So then I crammed and crammed till I was almost in a coma,
And thesised and examed until I got me a diploma.
" Ah-hah, " they said,
Now comes admission
Into a very high position.
Out I went and looked around,
And Macy's is the place I found,
I filled my blanks and application
And went for my examination.
They took my weight and took my height,
And tapped my chest and tested my sight.
Examined my head, took prints of my toes,
Looked at my teeth and up my nose.
Examined my throat and measured my hips,
And even took prints of my fingertips.
They made me say " ah " and told me to grunt.
Examined my back, examined my front.
Then they tested my " I.Q. "
And asked me what I'd like to do
And when that exam was through
What there was to know, Macy's knew!
[Spoken]
So I got the job.

REFRAIN

Life is a bitter cup of tea,
Now I'm just salesgirl seventy-three.
I used to be on the daisy chain,
Now I'm a chain store daisy.
Once they gave me the honor seat,
Now I stand up with pains in my feet,
I used to be on the daisy chain
Now shoppers drive me crazy.
I sell smart but thrifty
Corsets at three-fifty,
Better grade four sixty-nine.
I sell bras and girdles
For Mauds and Myrtles
To hold in their plump
Behind this counter.
Once I wrote poems, put folks in tears,
Now I write checks for ladies' brassieres,
I used to be on the daisy chain
Now I'm a chain store daisy.
[Spoken]
I guess, Madam — That's so, Madam —
Of course, Madam — that's the very best,
Exactly the kind that's worn by Mae West.
For you, Madam — we do, Madam —
That's true, Madam — in blue, Madam —
That one is nineteen seventy-four.
It ought to be expensive
It's the largest in the store.
[Sung]
For all higher learning,
Studied till I made the grade.
I pursued my knowledge
And finished college,
Well look at the
Kind of grade I made.
I'm now selling things to fit in the figure,
[Spoken]
The small things bigger!
[Sung]
I used to be on the daisy chain
Now I'm a chain store daisy.