The Shadow

I did.
Didn’t I do it?

I went.
Had to go through it.

I smiled.
Grinned a little,
bore it out,
cried a little,
poured it out.

My life
is a too perfect vision.
So coloured, by my indecision.

My mind,
a little haywire;
spiralling out,
barrelling down,
painting the sky
with long, black clouds.

My fall,
met by indifference.
My calls
made no difference.

To sort
between good and bad
might leave me a little sad,
so I leave it all piled out back.

I lack
a little perspective,
when my eyes are crystal clear.
The fear
always creeps in when I’m about to win
I always wake up as I’m falling, falling…

My dreams are parked cars,
headlights extinguished.
Who is it sitting, waiting on me?
I can’t see clearly if they’re waiting to spring,
to tell me my number is up.

I want them to take me again,
silence me, rip my life away;
I’ll always stay one step back,
an awkward grin hiding feelings
murky like the woods
where my body will lie.