Six Learicks

A Learick is a collaboration with Lear, in which one begins with the first two lines of any of his limericks and composes new lines 3, 4, 5.

There was an Old Man in a tree,
Who was horribly bored by a bee;
So they gave it some bells,
To play sweet bagatelles,
And the Man became buzzy with glee.

There is a Young Lady whose nose
Continually prospers and grows.
It grew so very long,
She attracted the Dong:
He presented a fragrant red rose.

There was an Old Man of the West,
Who wore a pale plum-coloured vest;
When they said, 'You look odd!'
He just smiled with a nod
And proceeded to eat it with zest.

There was a Young Person of Smyrna,
Whose Grandmother threatened to burn her;
But she said, 'Goodness' sake!',
As she brandished a snake,
And Gran fled, for the snake was much sterner.

There was an Old Man of Madras,
Who rode on a cream-coloured ass;
But it gave such a cough
That the Old Man fell off
And was trampled right there in the grass.

There was a Young Lady of Ryde,
Whose shoe-strings were seldom untied;
Fastening left shoe and right
In a knot so damned tight
She could spread her legs just an inch wide.