Tippi Hendren’s Big Cat
My owner’s Tippi Hendren. I’m her lion and I’m large
(four hundred pounds). I nip her playfully and sometimes charge
or place my paw upon her head or round her skinny leg
as she dives in the pool, but never snaffle food or beg.
I often roar. Though I’m the planet’s biggest pussy cat,
I’ve got no genes for morals or remorse. Remember that!
Yet many times I’ve slept in the same bed as Melanie
(her daughter), and I’ve never carried out a felony.
And yet I sense my kindly keeper reckons I’m a danger
to all the primates in her home; for, though I am no stranger,
it’s risky when I’m frisky as a corybantic kitten.
I’m proud to say, however, that nobody’s yet been bitten.
The corvids in The Birds were far more frightening than me
(yup, that’s the film she’s famous for), and I will guarantee
my genes won’t tempt my teeth to crunch some bones like shredded wheat.
I’m way more fond of buffalo than measly human meat!