Vexation and Vanity

Ah, they drive me raving mad,
A fool, a buffoon, an unruly lad
A prankster, a trickster, a tattler
A gigolo, a lounger and an idler;

An imposter, a pretender, a loafer
A party crasher, a tailgater, a golfer
A boondoggler, a pavement pounder
or a politician’s deceitful expounder.

I often tear my hair out at a silly pun
or at a smart aleck who can out-run,
A hoax or a sly scam drives me crazy
which is but absurd, witless or sleazy.

But a luscious lass looks at me lovingly
and whispers sweet nothing seductively,
She holds my hands and smiles pretty
Man oh man, I then purr like a kitty!