Part 1:- A laugh within the secret heart
Happiness was the first time I heard the sound of your laughter
In a brightly painted, crowded room where no one else but you existed
And I hadn’t really noticed you before, but I did that day
I cracked one of my horrible jokes and you let out a laugh
But not just any laugh, no, the kind of rich laughter people take notice of
The kind of laugh that sends a shiver from someone’s toes to their neck
A loud, soulful guffaw followed by the faintest of snorts
It ended in a stifled giggle that clung to my eardrums
The soundwaves rolled off your tongue and down your body
Gently caressing every inch of you on their way to me
From the stygian hair with rolling waves like the ocean in summer
To the snowy skin, the softness of which put your yellow dress to shame
Kissing your soft, rosy cheeks the way I now often think to do
Tumbling down your arms to the slender fingers I’ve since memorized
Every tone soaked into me so deeply that they became permanent
And have morphed into vibrant golds and reds that I alone can see
Your laughter is my secret pleasure and I seek it every time I see you
But no instance can compare with the first time
The blissful moment when I realized I would go to great lengths
If it meant, for even a moment, that those sounds would reach me
Happiness is every time I hear the sound of your laughter
Part 2: - A laugh within the secret heart
You stand there, talking so quietly that I must lean in to hear you
Wearing a deep blue dress covered in pink and red flowers
That falls just past the middle of your thigh
And exposes your skin that looks like honeyed milk, soft and golden pale
And, my god, it takes everything in me not to reach out and touch you and the urge grows
stronger every time I am near you and I am constantly questioning my ability to hold back, and I
wonder if you even realize that you have this effect on me
Or that I think about you
And your thigh-length, deep blue dress with red and pink flowers
And silently wish I had the courage, or the permission, to pull you closer
Instead of trying to calm my heart from racing like a jackrabbit
And quell my desperately dangerous desires
Because, if I fail to hold them down, they will explode forth with enough force to push you away
and ensure that you never stand so close, or speak so quietly to me again
So, I focus on the red and pink flowers, and bring them to life in my head, imagining they smell
like the rose blossoms my grandmother used to grow
Because this helps me think less about the fact that you are more beautiful than the rose
blossoms my grandmother used to grow
And the pain of being stuck by one of their thorns pales in comparison to the ache I feel in my
chest when I’m standing next to you
This moment has been archived in my memory as the moment I first loved you
Part 3: - A laugh within the secret heart
I will never forget the moment you asked me to kiss you
On the floor of your living room at midnight
With tears in your eyes
And fear in your voice
And I will never forget the way that fear melted away
When you told me you loved me
And Heard me say it back.
I look at you every morning as you get dressed
And thank God for blessing me with you.
I listen to your laughter
And feel a warmth all the way down to my toes.
I watch you rub the sleep from your eyes as you wake up
And know there is no place I’d rather be.
You are my heart
My quiet amidst the raucous noise in my own head
My peace in an endlessly restless world
My calm in the storm
My forever.
I love you.
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