You have robbed the young gallant of nostrils and ears,
And his face now of both is bereft.
But your vengeance remains incomplete it appears;
He has still got another part left.

Why maim your slave by cutting out
The wretch's tongue, you brute,
When all the city talks about
Your crimes — though he is mute?

Though in a gorgeous litter you may ride,
It seems a pauper's bier when you're inside.

While Fannius the foeman fled,
He madly pierced his side,
And, lest he should be stricken dead,
By his own hand he died.

You only asked me when you know
I've asked another man to dine.
And, as to-day I eat at home,
Your invitation I decline.

Your fish won't keep in Summer-time? Why not?
You can't have tried the baths that you call hot.

Try greasing wheels: your taste reveals
You might be fit for that:
Nay, truth to tell, 'twould suit you well
Because your wits are fat.

For length you damn my epigram!
Is Brutus' boy too small?
Your critic eyes perhaps despise
Colossus as too tall?

'Tis plain indeed you never read
Marsus or Pedo sage;
One piece of each will often reach
Beyond a single page.

A word remove and I will prove
You do my poem wrong.
Your couplets are too long by far —
That is two lines too long.

Your share of Marius' estate
Is just four pounds of battered plate.
You thought you'd cornered him: l' feg,
The boot is on the other leg.

A LION wont to cower beneath the whip,
Within whose jaws the trainer oft would slip
His hand unharmed, forgot its gentle ways
And showed the fury of its Libyan days.
Two boys belonging to the youthful band,
Who with their rakes smooth out the bloody sand,
The savage beast with fangs accursed slew —
A greater crime the circus never knew.
Well might we cry — " Thou cruel thief, forbear.
Learn from our Roman wolf young lives to spare."

A THING , I am told, happened yesterday night,
Which I cannot approve, for I don't think it right
I'm informed you received such a tempest of knocks
As the pantaloon gets when they play Box and Cox.
And, what's more surprising, folk now are repeating
'Twas Caecilius gave you that most unkind beating.
You declare it's not true; and I hope it as well,
But the fellow has witnesses, so people tell.