English

" I WON'T marry Betty: she's too fond of men,"
" Well, boys find her charming." " I'll marry her then."

Gay as the flowers that Hybla shows in spring,
What time the bees are plundering on the wing,
So shine your presses with their mantles bright,
So gleams your chest with evening wrappers white,
Spoils of her flocks Apulia sent to you,
Enough to clothe a Roman tribe anew.
And yet — O shame — you look with careless eye
Upon your friend who passes shivering by
In threadbare coat, and do not think to give
A rag or two to keep him just alive.
You would not feel the loss, you need not fear:
The moths alone would be the sufferers here.

When your duty you never could do to your wife,
Why offer yourself to the surgeon's sharp knife?

The proverb goes — " Let friends together profit."
And this is your interpretation of it.
You sport a toga of Tarentine wool.
Such tufts as from the Parman flocks they pull:
Mine is so old you'd think a bull had torn it,
Or that some scarecrow in the ring had worn it.
Your Tyrian mantle's one of Cadmus own:
My poor red cloak would scarce fetch half-a-crown.
Your marble rounds on Indian ivory rest:
My table's wood and is on drain-pipes pressed.
For you huge mullets lie in golden dish:
I from red earthen plates eat red crawfish.

The bath-water's fouled when your buttocks you swill.
Just put in your head; 'twill be dirtier still.

As your legs are as curved as the moon's horns when new,
Then your bath should be shaped like a drinking-horn too.

To buy a young minion you've spent all your gold,
And let your three children go hungry and cold,
While you force him on you his male vigour to prove,
Who are long past the age for legitimate love.
May you grow old together, and never another
Embrace you but he, you unnatural mother.

I KNOW Jenny well: she's a right proper lass:
Not a girl in the town can her kisses surpass.

From your cup no one ever to drink you allow:
But it really is kindness not pride that you show.

Both the judge and the counsel say you're in their debt:
You had best pay the one where most credit you'll get.